Today we learnt... : memes

[–] yukichigai@kbin.social 193 points 1 year ago

What a horrible day to have genitals.

[–] Dick_Justice@lemmy.world 131 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Why did I learn how to read?

[–] VanillaGorilla@kbin.social 42 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Society forced you. Time to burn it all down.

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[–] moonsnotreal@lemmy.blahaj.zone 92 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Ok I guess we both have it bad

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’ve had both happen, yeah both suck

[–] SexualPolytope@lemmy.sdf.org 22 points 1 year ago (7 children)

How?

[–] TaleOfSam@kbin.social 41 points 1 year ago

Life's wild, my friend

[–] Walk_blesseD@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 1 year ago

Some of us go from having one set of bits to having a different set of bits.

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[–] GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

A fart is nowhere near as bad as the inside of a dirty toilet 😅

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[–] wil@lemmy.blahaj.zone 80 points 1 year ago (2 children)

As a pussy haver. What the fuck

[–] motor_spirit@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago

Today we encounter the "pussy havers" and the "pussy have nots" learning side by side! Spectacular!

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[+] WhyIDie@lemmy.ml 67 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

[deleted]

[–] bingbong@lemmy.dbzer0.com 67 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The dreaded double dutch

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[–] grayman@lemmy.world 64 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was helping my daughter (3) pee. Pee came out of 3 places at once at one point, then 2.

I'll keep my ding dong, thanks.

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[–] kevinbacon@lemmy.world 53 points 1 year ago (1 children)

W-what?

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

It's true.

[–] Nfntordr@lemmy.world 51 points 1 year ago (5 children)

If only my dick was big enough to touch the inside of the bowl

[–] spader312@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You don't want it to be, the cold touch of a toilet bowl specially a dirty public restroom gives me chills

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[–] TheLowestStone@lemmy.world 49 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Relax guys. We all know girls don't fart.

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[–] koyo@ani.social 45 points 1 year ago

im with everyone here. what the fuck

[–] Scrof@sopuli.xyz 44 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

At least we can all relate to water splashes.

[–] Mongostein@lemmy.ca 37 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Oh man I had diarrhea in a porta-potty a couple weeks ago and got some splash back. I was not a happy camper.

[–] papajohn@lemmy.ca 17 points 1 year ago

I call bullshit. No one survives the blue touch.

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[–] xpinchx@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Poseidon's Kiss™️

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[–] Dream_state@aussie.zone 37 points 1 year ago (6 children)

The old witches kiss

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[–] Son_of_dad@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago (6 children)

I'm a guy and I've had those farts that escape up between your leg and balls and pop out the top

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[–] OtakuAltair@lemm.ee 33 points 1 year ago

What the fuck

[–] Fhek@lemm.ee 22 points 1 year ago

The requeefining.

[–] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (3 children)

When I shit my dick touch the water

[–] victron@programming.dev 40 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

You're not supposed to shit in the urinals, my dude.

[–] phorq@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Then why are they butt-level???

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[–] Mercival@lemm.ee 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

My friend told me of the horror of your menstrual cup falling into a public toilet. I'd take licking the bowl over that shit any day of the week.

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (9 children)

(cis)Women also will never know the pain of sitting on their own balls.

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[–] platysalty@kbin.social 17 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Alright how many of you in here trying to make your dick fart right now?

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[–] Case@unilem.org 17 points 1 year ago

I'd rather re-fart my own fart, than have my dick dip into a public toilet again.

One is slightly, uncomfortable, maybe? The other opens the mind to all the diseases that could potentially infect your dick in a public toilet. Unlikely? Sure. Possible? In some cases, with some diseases, yes - however slim.

[–] sagrotan@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Fat ass man here, can fart in 3 voices at the same time, I conserve one in the under ass, one in the upper ass and let them out the same time. You should've seen the admiring faces from the two cops in the front of the car. I even did it with cuffs. They totally wanted autographs.

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[–] db2@sopuli.xyz 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Worse when it touches the water though.

[–] TFS@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Just wrap it around your thigh, problem solved

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[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

weirdly accurate

[–] 93Akkord@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

So if you go down on a girl after she does this does that mean you're eating shit particles?

[–] BellaDonna@mujico.org 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I mean, you're always probably going to a little bit, no big deal, but they're so close together that it just happens

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[–] mub@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I bet it is great requeef when it comes out!

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[–] dodgy_bagel@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Had both.

Don't recommend either.

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[–] TheLobotomist@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Can some woman confirm this is legit? Seems very hard to believe

[–] RaptorMother@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It is... And honestly, I can't tell which one is worse. I will say, the first time it happened, I was terrified, thought something was wrong with me

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[–] Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is an excellent advertisement for bottom surgery: I want to have experienced both.

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Memes

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