this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] estoypoopin@kbin.social 56 points 1 year ago (3 children)

May I also suggest, even easier than saltines, a nice tall, refreshing glass of water? The perfect meal replacement for those times when you're too busy (or poor) to eat!

[–] Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works 39 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Water, like from the toilet?

[–] get_off_the_phone@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ooh la la Mr. Fancy I Have A Toilet Man. No, WATER, like from a puddle on the sidewalk.

[–] KIM_JONG_JUICEBOX@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago

You live somewhere where water just falls from the sky for free?

[–] geekworking@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Can't afford Brandow.

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[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I'll 1up you. Take half a sleeve of saltines and put them in a big glass. Pour chocolate milk in the glass until it is half full and stir until thick.

Bottoms up.

On an unrelated note, I disgust my wife.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

Who hurt you

[–] TwoGems@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

You greedy communist! If you do that, then Nestle can't bottle up all that fresh mone--I mean, water, up and help the free market!

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 47 points 1 year ago (18 children)

My dad eats saltines with butter. Not peanut butter. Butter butter.

[–] solidgrue@lemmy.world 38 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Are you my kid?

Hey, empty the dishwasher.

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[–] rnviewjthpowrh@kbin.social 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It is good, like eating a buttered roll but crunchy.

[–] Holytaco6@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My Grandma taught me to butter the saltines when we have Chili and to scoop a little chili on the butter saltine. I might need to make some chili tonight now haha

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[–] dingus@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I know I sound disgusting, but sometimes I eat saltines and straight up dip them in/scoop up butter like it's a dip. It's good.

[–] cakeslayer@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

I do that but I dip them in my tomato soup.

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[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Man... I have to not buy saltines because I will literally just eat a sleeve plain.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I can just sit and eat a whole box of Triscuits if I'm not stopped, so I never buy Triscuits in any of their wonderfully delicious flavors.

[–] TheObserver@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 year ago

I'll eat a whole damn box before i realize what I've done. One day it's gonna catch up to me and I'm gonna be the next person on my 600lb life

[–] Transcriptionist@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Image Transcription:

An image of an unopened sleeve of saltines with text over it. The text at the top reads: off work late? hungry, but too tired to cook? try eating sleeve of saltines The bottom text reads: you certainly will not regret eating sleeve of saltines

[I am a human, if I’ve made a mistake please let me know. Please consider providing alt-text for ease of use. Thank you. 💜]

[–] Brisolo32 10 points 1 year ago
[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Unsalted saltines are just wrong though.

[–] Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works 43 points 1 year ago

Those are just "ines"

[–] squiblet@kbin.social 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It’s like some sort of absorbent material used to clean up spills

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[–] DoomsdaySprocket@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My cats will try and murder me for these, they give no shits about any other crackers or human non-meat food, but I’ve had one literally try and eat one out of my mouth. Makes me question what’s really in them….

[–] ICE_WALRUS@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A lot of animals are hyper attracted to salt, that could be it. I know a deer will lick your dried piss off a rock for some salt from my days camping.

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[–] SOB_Van_Owen@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

Had a cat that dearly loved noodles. Would climb all over you for a strand of spaghetti.

[–] Veedem@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I love a good sleeve of saltines and I’m a grown ass man with a family and house and all that jazz.

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[–] Cruxifux@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (3 children)

My dad used to melt cheese and put salami on these and we would dip it in marinara. He called it poor mans pizza.

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[–] robdor@lemmynsfw.com 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Add some cheeses, meats, fruits, and veggies and you have a bomb ass snack tray

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[–] HoustonHenry@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I would much rather....drink 3 beers!

Thanks Andy Richter, miss you buddy!

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[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Anyone still do the 4 saltines in 1 minute challenge? No drinking!

[–] STUPIDVIPGUY@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

nah i do the 4 sleeves in 1 hour challenge

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[–] ShootBANGdang@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I can eat reams of Zesta saltines by themselves. I’ve tried multiple varieties and nothing comes close.

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[–] SpeedLimit55@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Don’t forget to add meat, cheese, beans, hot sauce in any combo!

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Ok, I know you like saltines but have you tried...

R A T I O N S ! ?

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 6 points 1 year ago

Mmm saladas

[–] Hank@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago

Oh man I'm not good at thyroid gland plz to halp

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