"I come here in a spirit of friendship to explain the mechanisms of our sanctions, the importance of joining us to express shared resolve and to advance shared interests. And yes, there are consequences to countries that actively attempt to circumvent or backfill these sanctions," he said, also noting that India and Russia are looking to get around the sanctions using their own payment system.

"We are very keen for all countries, especially our allies and partners, not to create mechanisms that prop up the ruble and that attempt to undermine the dollar-based financial system," he said.

I come here humbly requesting you to remain poor by spending 3x the bargain price Russia is offering you for oil in the name of peace and wanting to be part of the cool western kids.