yesterday they delivered a mattress and one of those adjustable bed frames i ordered a few weeks ago, and took away my old mattress (14 years, originally $200). i haven't had a good night's sleep in probably 3+ years and only thought about "maybe it's the mattress" after stumbling on some discussion online where somebody posted almost-religiously about figuring out their sleep style and getting a decent mattress to suit it.

so fuck it, i did the whole deal where i went to a place and laid down on a bunch of mattress/frame configurations. almost zonked out in the store on one of them in a few minutes. my first night (last night) i slept like a rock. normally i toss and turn like an angry pig, trying to do some kind of bullshit pillow+blanket contortion tetris. this was the first time my morning alarm woke me up in god knows how long, with me being in the near exact position i laid down in. normally the first hint of light has me waking up and stirring around in addition to all the other times i would do it throughout the night.

all this set me back a chunk of change, but its starting to look like one of my all time best moves.

Shite tbh

Met some really cool new people over the past few months and made friends, turns out they're all LGBT like me lmao. I find it very interesting how we all sussed each other out and became friends, gaydar is definitely real for me at least lol. They're the only people I'm out of the closet to in real life now, so yeah being semi-closeted sucks. Also not able to see them in person for a while yet, which is also shit.

I keep getting triggered(not like the internet meme, PTSD triggered) and telling my boyfriend dumb shit when he's already having a hard time. How do I not be like this?

That"s been weighing on me but I'm good otherwise.

Going back to school half time on top of a relatively comfy job and oof I forgot how much I hate change, plus the workload is a bit daunting.

Trans dungeon started up and it seems like they're taking covid precautions super seriously. Want to be involved but don't want to overload myself. But I need social interaction...