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Elon Musk Reportedly Offered SpaceX Employees Sperm to Seed Mars Colony (futurism.com)

submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by kamenlady@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

40 comments fedilink hide all child comments

SpaceX employees' work is breaking barriers, while this asshat keeps terrorizing them with his utter gross bullshit

Edit: after reading through the article again, some passages stuck out, like:

Apart from aspiring to become the biological father for his Martian colony, Musk has leveraged many of his own businesses to create a civilization on Mars, including Boring Company tunnels to dig under the planet's surface and a Tesla Cybertruck rugged enough to traverse its mountainous landscapes.

So, take it all with a grain of salt.

*Emphasis mine

top 40 comments

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[-] Boozilla@lemmy.world 90 points 1 month ago

He has a dozen kids already. This dude needs to get his fetish under control.

[-] LavenderDay3544@lemmy.world 28 points 1 month ago

And most of them don't like him.

[-] Angry_Autist@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago

Almost everyone who's ever known him for more than 20 minutes knows he's a raging narcissist without the actual smarts to back it.

[-] n3m37h@sh.itjust.works 71 points 1 month ago

Elon proving once again he is a fucking moron

[-] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 69 points 1 month ago

"No boss, we don't need your sperm. Please stop asking."

[-] formergijoe@lemmy.world 49 points 1 month ago

Elon totally has a my little pony in a jar.

[-] randomdeadguy@lemmy.world 41 points 1 month ago

Imagine going to Mars but it's just filled with Elon descendants.

[-] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago

Nuke it

[-] Illuminostro@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

It's the only way to be sure.

[-] thefartographer@lemm.ee 7 points 1 month ago

If they're all like Vivian, that doesn't sound so bad

[-] Num10ck@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Elongated

[-] xe3@lemmy.world 40 points 1 month ago

The cyber truck is almost rugged enough to Brave the Home Depot parking lot (so long as it’s been recently paved.

[-] Illuminostro@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

"I would like to purchase one wood, please."

[-] WhatsHerBucket@lemmy.world 34 points 1 month ago

Is anyone actually surprised? But ewww.

[-] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 33 points 1 month ago

Best way to start a colony is with a genetic bottleneck.

[-] over_clox@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago

What a jerkoff

[-] Minarble@aussie.zone 3 points 1 month ago

Yeah, this Elon guy sounds like a right wanker.

[-] randomdeadguy@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

This is just colonial monarchy with extra steps Edit: castrate the rich

[-] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

I would like to sign up for a life of indentured servitude on Mars! The silver lining is it will be a short life.

[-] visikde@lemmings.world 21 points 1 month ago

Elmo put it back in your pants...

[-] Burn_The_Right@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

TIL Elon keeps a cum jar.

[-] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago

He uses it to spice up his cereal.

[-] Illuminostro@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

In a CyberX Freezer, his next investment scam.

[-] sunzu@kbin.run 20 points 1 month ago

Teslatubby wants to propagate

[-] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

I offer everyone I meet sperm, it’s what makes me a great host.

[-] BakerBagel@midwest.social 2 points 1 month ago

Here's your sperm

[-] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

I'd take Chevy Chase's sperm if it was given to me by Walton Goggins.

[-] CaptPretentious@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

Inbred martians... Neat.

[-] Illuminostro@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Between that and the radiation, welcome to... Planet Tard.

[-] Caligvla@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 1 month ago

Imagine having the misfortune of not only being stuck on mars, but also having to share your genes with this greasy fuck.

[-] uberdroog@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

"Just cup your hands" - probably.

[-] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 month ago

Anyone know how much the additional ~30 pounds of a human man, compared to a human woman and a test tube of cum, would cost to fly to mars? How many women would each mission need to take to offset the weight of a precisely calibrated refrigerator full of spunk? If, upon arrival on mars, they immediately begin pouring cum all over the ground, how delicious would Elon’s tears be?

[-] LEDZeppelin@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

EwwwLon

[-] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 month ago

He really does think he is Horatio from Endless Space.

[-] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 month ago

I hope when we get to Mars we are over the whole car idea and can start building train and path tracks instead of doing suburb 2 electric bogaloo

[-] Angry_Autist@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

any real colonization will be corporate sponsored and whatever is built there will be the most urban hellscape you can imagine.

[-] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago

"Sorry, your colony didn't pay the oxygen fee so we sealed all connections to other colonies"

[-] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

More baby Elons?

[-] IphtashuFitz@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

If he/they did go through with this I’d start a GoFundMe to reward the employee(s) that successfully sabotages the effort, wether by substituting their own sample or any other verifiable means.

[-] Windex007@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

If I was a SpaceX employee, I would not accept sperm in exchange for seeding a mars colony

this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2024

308 points (96.4% liked)

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