145
Suicidal Man Urged By Onlookers To Jump From Higher Floor
(www.theonion.com)
Do a flip!
Please, old friend, don't jump! Use another method that won't damage your liver. Other people need it, you know.
At press time, reports confirmed firefighters had arrived to carry the man to the top floor.
He was lucky to have such good people supporting him to succeed.
I can only hope I'll be so lucky.
"The people who love you want you dead, not injured!”.
That's... Actually a very valid concern.
Having been a person that cares for people afterward, 100%. It's one of the few things keeping me from attempting again; the only thing worse than being alive is being stuck halfway.
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing: