askchapo

Your mom is not in a state where she is going to even listen to anything you have to say. You could come up with the most perfect materialist understanding of what’s going on, and it’s gonna go in one ear and out the other. It’s akin to people who are sold on Young Earth Creationism or a flat earth… you can show them the science but they will simply hand wave it away as “biased scientists” or some conspiracy theory they hold on to to protect their ego. People have to be in a position where they are questioning their existing understanding or open to new ways of thinking about things.

I suggest looking into a technique called “gray rock”. Basically, it comes down to only engaging with people by giving them the most bland, uninteresting responses. Don’t give them a response good or bad, and they’ll eventually get bored of trying to engage with you. Normally I would say antisemitism, racism, etc need to be confronted; but I feel that’s more towards people with influence over others or a public setting. When it’s your mom whose gone off the deep end and you have to live with her, I think that’s a situation where you have to take care of yourself first.

Start wearing a yarmulke around the house.

At this point be calm and polite but direct. Some good phrases are “This isn’t true.” And “Stories like this endanger people in real life.”

Anti semitism from Cristians in 2024 is still one of the most bizarre, manufactured behaviors observable

i don't know if it's advice, because i don't know if i endorse it, but in my life when i've been in those situations i just grit my teeth and get through the time that i am stuck there. i would be out of the house as much as possible during non-waking hours, hanging with friends or in those rare free, public places where one can read a book without being disturbed or treated as loitering or trespassing.

i used to do that a lot in bookstores. those like kinda corporate strip mall ones that had random chairs in the back. a lot of those are gone, but sometimes they have a cafe where i would get the cheapest drink and nurse it for 2 hours with free water refills. treated it kind like a library, would put i book i was reading back but in a weird place so i could get it again. no fees, longer hours, open on weekends lol. i read a lot of books doing that over a period of years.

showed me a job listing

I'd love to apply for that. Like, fuck what a sweet deal, you people getting paid to protest?

Broken record technique. You're not going to convince someone who doesn't respect you or listen to you on such subjects. So simply repeat the exact same line, something like "I'm not having this conversation with you", or "we're not talking politics". Explain that the person's obsession with the subject is distressing and off-putting, and you want to have an enjoyable relationship with them, so x or y topic is off limits. Then you just answer every hint of her talking about it with your broken record script.

Don't waste your energy trying to change people who don't want to change.

Edit: don't forget to follow your own boundary too, don't bring up politics with her.

Do you have to talk to her? Maybe just sit in silence. Talking is worthless. Even what we're doing now isn't worth it.

It depends on her personality. That could make the difference between choosing completely opposite approaches.

Example: if she has some narcissistic traits and is very defensive when disagreed with, I would recommend redirection. Rather than point out what is wrong with what she is saying, you can change her focus to be on better ideas and thoughts. Then give her time to digest, as defensive people might be dismissive at first but then come back two days later to tell you about how great the thing you recommended was.

On the other hand, if she responds well to disagreement and prefers to receive direct feedback, prepare and practice a few talking points. In my experience, the best way to approach with a direct criticism is to use the "I feel" perspective as much as possible. Here is an example: "I agree that the ultra-rich business owners are responsible for so much evil in the world, but when you focus so much on Soros and use X references it sounds like the same things said by antisemites, and I would be sad if my mom thought those things. Would it be okay to talk about the things that other billionaires do and the antisemitic tropes used to focus on Soros alone?"

Obviously there is no guarantee of success, this depends mostly in your mother and not how perfectly you approach the issue.

Finally, it is also okay to just survive for a few months and avoid the topic. You don't have to take risks when you are precarious just to correct this grown woman that is embracing hate using a poor understanding. And you can disagree with her after you are no longer precarious. So that is just as valid of an option.