Option 3 is the best ngl

Brendon! Brendon come here for a sec.

Yeah coach?

Brendon I have something to tell you. It's something important. Never fall in love Brendon. It's not worth it, you don't have what it takes.

Uh huh

Love is an alpha male's game Brendon. Do you know what an alpha male is?

Uh, yeah I think s..

An alpha male is the strongest man in a tribe, Brendon. They did this study with wolves, turns out the alphas get all the ladies. Chicks really eat that stuff up. You're what's called a beta, Brendon. You've just got no chance, you're better off not even trying.

Uh, are you an alpha male, coach?

I'm a sigma male Brendon. Sigma, there's a difference. Means I'm a lone wolf, I don't follow the rules Brendon. The ladies can't handle that, it intimidates them. If you think about it that's even more alpha than the alpha males. I read it online.

Uh huh. Where'd you read that coach?

The Internet Brendon, the information superhighway. Lot of information on there. A lot of information some people, betas, aren't ready to hear Brendon. It's sorta subversive, off the beaten path. The kind of information they don't want people to know.

Who's"they"?

Brendon why don't you worry about getting out there and actually kicking the ball. And don't fall in love, that's important.

Home Movies was such a great show!

Hard drugs fill the void alright. But only temporarily. Being in addiction is all consuming

Anon tries heroin

Option 4

Become the girlfriend :3

I go for option 2, but it's hard to be a slut when nobody wants to fuck you...