this post was submitted on 13 Sep 2024
365 points (92.0% liked)

Asklemmy

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Edit: Wow, this really blew up. Thanks for the updoots, kind strangers.

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[–] frank@sopuli.xyz 187 points 3 months ago (11 children)
[–] frank@sopuli.xyz 154 points 3 months ago

Wow, really well said. Extremely important that everyone reads this info above

Edit: thanks for the gold, kind stranger

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 63 points 3 months ago (4 children)
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[–] SassyRamen@lemmy.world 49 points 3 months ago

I don't have real money, but you deserve this ⭐

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[–] BlueLineBae@midwest.social 150 points 3 months ago (4 children)
[–] GingeyBook@lemm.ee 145 points 3 months ago (13 children)

I have a 14 year old device with a very obscure problem, does anyone have a solution for this?

[–] GingeyBook@lemm.ee 177 points 3 months ago (3 children)

This comment has been edited in protest to reddit's decision to bully 3rd party apps into closure. If you want to do the same, you can find instructions here: http://notepad.link/share/TAk4RNJIb3vmhROVfGPV

[–] GingeyBook@lemm.ee 132 points 3 months ago

This worked perfectly, thanks!

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[–] SeaJ@lemm.ee 55 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I have this problem too!

Edit: Nevermind. Fixed it.

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[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 132 points 3 months ago (4 children)
[–] k_rol@lemmy.ca 66 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Hit Facebook, gym up and delete the lawyer

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[–] tuckerm@supermeter.social 121 points 3 months ago (2 children)

You post was automatically removed for not following the requirements listed in our wiki. Please find the wiki yourself because it is not linked anywhere. In particular, your post does not meet the following requirements:

  • Section 1, paragraph 3, subsection B
  • Section 18, paragraph 5, subsection AAB
  • Section 35, paragraph 1: uploading a photo* with timestamp†

* see approved photo hosts

† see ISO 8601

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[–] LambdaRX@sh.itjust.works 104 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Sexy sexitors of sexxit, how do you sexily sex sex?

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 33 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Do you have a good sourdough recipe?

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[–] zachimusprime44@lemmy.world 101 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Sorry, your post was removed because your account doesn’t meet the requirements.

Your account must be at least 1 month old and have at least 10 karma.

Thanks.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–] GrammarPolice@lemmy.world 39 points 3 months ago
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[–] KellysNokia@lemmy.world 88 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (8 children)

I came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro.

CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed.

Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. This stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh.

Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. I have the weirdest boner right now, so I'll be in my bunk with dat ass. Oh, you! ...now KISS!!! I know you should never stick your dick in crazy, but DM;HS.

...this kills the redditor.

OP will surely deliver. In the meantime, I'll show myself out.

Directed by M. Night Shamallama

edit: accidentally a word

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[–] Blackout@fedia.io 71 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Please don't ask me how I managed to take this picture... http://i.imgur.com/TAXdG.jpg

[–] GingeyBook@lemm.ee 42 points 3 months ago (2 children)

How did you manage to take this picture?

[–] Blackout@fedia.io 49 points 3 months ago (1 children)
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[–] GoofSchmoofer@lemmy.world 68 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I also choose this man's dead wife.

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[–] xelar@lemmy.ml 66 points 3 months ago (1 children)
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[–] josie@vegantheoryclub.org 62 points 3 months ago

I'm a leftist but I think insert fascist opinion here

[–] Dungrad@feddit.org 55 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Here have this award. πŸ‘οΈβ€πŸ—¨οΈ

[–] Maerman@lemmy.ml 45 points 3 months ago

Thanks for the stranger, kind gold.

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[–] Fisch@discuss.tchncs.de 53 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Would have upvoted but it was at 69

[–] DavidDoesLemmy@aussie.zone 53 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Here's a story told entirely from my point of view, edited to make me look good. Am I the asshole?

[–] saigot@lemmy.ca 32 points 3 months ago (1 children)

NTA your house your rules.

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[–] calabast@lemm.ee 52 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ahh, the ole reddit switcharoo

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[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 48 points 3 months ago (5 children)
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[–] Linkerbaan@lemmy.world 47 points 3 months ago (7 children)

This is a repost from half a year ago OP is a karma farming bot

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[–] ilinamorato@lemmy.world 46 points 3 months ago (3 children)
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[–] Underwaterbob@lemm.ee 45 points 3 months ago

I too choose this guy's dead wife.

[–] ettyblatant@lemmy.world 43 points 3 months ago (3 children)
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[–] trk@aussie.zone 41 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

... And my axe!

Edit: I said the funny line, updoots to the just please

[–] tektite@slrpnk.net 40 points 3 months ago (7 children)

You've been banned from r/Pyongyang

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[–] fubarx@lemmy.ml 39 points 3 months ago

RemindMe! 3y β€œreply to this thread”.

[–] svamp@lemmy.ml 38 points 3 months ago (1 children)
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[–] original_reader@lemm.ee 38 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Not all heroes wear capes.

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[–] MECHAGIC@lemmy.world 37 points 3 months ago (6 children)
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[–] rustyfish@lemmy.world 33 points 3 months ago (1 children)
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[–] EvilBit@lemmy.world 33 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Look, I think it’s important to state here that while you can often offer prompts to strangers with no ill effect, 7% of strangers are DEATHLY ALLERGIC to prompts. I know it’s fun to give your strangers prompts sometimes, but I urge you all NOT to give prompts to strangers or you run the very real risk of harming them seriously.

Signed, A strangerologist

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[–] mub@lemmy.ml 31 points 3 months ago (3 children)
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