this post was submitted on 10 Sep 2023
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No. 9559967
stories of us being alpha
>at a (straight) club with my bros
>some obviously drunk removed comes up to me
>tells me i have really nice nice eyes and that he just had to come talk to me and he wants to buy me a drink
>i have a mind to knock this guy the fuck out
>tell him i'm not a removed and push him really hard
>he's on the ground soaking wet from spilling his drink on himself
>call my bros over
>we're surrounding him and verbally abusing him he literally starts crying
>we tell him to just get the fuck out of here

No. 9559970
Sounds stupid and not alpha, OP.

No. 9559971
that's what he gets for being a poofter

No. 9559988
>>9559970
how was i not alpha?
if i'm not alpha then no one is.

>>9559967
Fuck, that's alpha..if you were in 6th grade. take it from a real Alpha

>>Go to the library often during finals (junior year)
>>Notice this one kid who is always there
>>After finals he is still there
>>Hear stories about homeless college students who sleep in libraries
>>Feelsbadman.jpg
>>Talk to him
>>Find out he's actually a cool guy
>>He hides the fact that he's homeless
>>Me and my crew take him in
>>Make him feel wanted
>>He was reluctant at first
>>He opens up to us about his situation (end of junior year)
>>Homeless after his mom died
>>Never knew his father
>>No brothers or sister
>>Decided College was all he had left
>>Grants don't cover room and board
>>Has no money
>>Dude is Auschwitz mode
>>Told us in a group, we were all crying.
>>Manly tears
>>No bro left behind
>>We offer him our places to stay
>>We make sure he take care of him
>>Dude was pretty prideful, didn't do well taking help
>>Made a deal, he accepted our help and he would help me out at the gym as my spotter as well as study (smart motherfucker)
>>4 years go by
>>I no longer have a friend
>>I now have a brother who is /fit/
>>(My family actually adopted him)
>>brother has his own place and was crawling in removed and took one and put a ring on it.

That's real alpha mode you dick.

all 27 comments
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[–] elouboub@kbin.social 135 points 1 year ago (2 children)

A real alpha would not feel insecure by simply getting hit on by another dude. That's like being religious and losing your mind because someone said something bad about your favorite book. Fucking weak.

[–] Darkard@lemmy.world 83 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Being confident enough in your own sexuality to take a compliment from a guy is alpha

[–] RickyRigatoni@lemmy.ml 39 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Being confident enough in your own sexuality to take a compliment from a guy and give him a blowjob of gratitude is alpha

[–] metaStatic@kbin.social 27 points 1 year ago
[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Exactly this. I was once hit on by a dude. I didnt take it as a threat to my masculinity. Instead, I found something about him and complimented that, which he appreciated. He bought me a drink, we chatted. He was a nice guy. Turned out we lived close by so we shared an uber home. He kissed me goodnight. We went to bed together. Long stort short, we've been married 3 years now. Come to think of it I never did mention to him that I was straight...

[–] CheesyFox@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's okay if you said "no homo"

[–] empireOfLove@lemmy.one 3 points 1 year ago

And kept your socks on of course

[–] GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world 109 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Alpha is a term used for pack behavior in captivity.

Do with this information what you will.

[–] Phen 14 points 1 year ago

Which is obvious once you realize there's no way that wild wolwes would have learnt the Greek alphabet on their own.

[–] ComradePorkRoll@lemmy.ml 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We are all prisoners under capitalism.

[–] rammer@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 year ago

Seize the means of production!

[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I know everyone points to this as evidence that alphas and betas don't exist, but aren't we all in captivity, actually? I don't get to leave and not work for the rest of my life. I have to work, or die. Sounds like captivity to me.

[–] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 1 year ago

No, captivity is more infantilising. Work is different from prison, because people still have an employment status in prison, i.e. captivity is a different kind power to threat of starvation.

[–] cazsiel@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I don’t get to leave and not work for the rest of my life.

not with that attitude

[–] Rescuer6394@feddit.nl 67 points 1 year ago (1 children)

i need to open posts before clicking on the image.

thank you OP for the transcription, one day i will read the greentext from that instead of squinting my eyes at the image.

wholesome btw

[–] victron@programming.dev 23 points 1 year ago

Lmfao I entered the comment section and almost facepalmed myself so hard when I saw the transcription

Rare wholesome greentext ending

[–] moonsnotreal@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 1 year ago

The first post is the average 4chan pos

[–] halvar@lemm.ee 21 points 1 year ago

That is some real alpha shit

[–] PropaGandalf@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

what a chad

[–] mannycalavera@feddit.uk 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 year ago

Straight and gay

The real alphas go out of their way to help people.