Chickpea tuna salad. Drain a can of chickpeas, then mix with a can of tuna (drained, if it's packed in water), some olive oil, red wine vinegar, and salt. I add diced raw onion if I'm not too tired.

Microwaved pepperoni chips.

Put pepperoni on a plate with some paper towels, microwave for one minute. The apartment will smell either heavenly or sickening for the next hour, depending on how much you like pepperoni.

Works with any sliced sausage really

Omelet composed of >60% frozen vegetables and seasoned with soy sauce.

It doesn't hold itself together at all and it looks disgusting.

Y’all are horrifying. That’s all I came here to say.

I keep a bouquet of dry pasta on my desk that I absentmindedly munch on while I work.

Sometimes I'll eat a whole head of cabbage over a day peeling it leaf by leaf.

I ate frozen fish sticks when I was a kid. Just took em out of the freezer and gnawed on them.

Snack pasta (farfalle are the best). No cooking, just open the package and munch the raw pasta. I like how crispy it is.

idk how weird this is in terms of everything else in this thread, but peanut butter and pickles on toast is great

Instant mashed potatoes with American cheese melted in, and a variety of seasonings, butter, toppings etc. It's a great, cheap way to make a bowl out of random leftovers, protein or whatever. But I wouldn't dare serve it to someone.

'quickadilla' I'll slap a tortilla on a cold pan, turn on the heat and build it right in the pan while it heats up with shredded cheese and left over meat. Takes 5 minutes and it's at least as good as Taco Bell, and actually warm and melted.

More of a meal I'd actually be willing to share, but not brag about because it's sort of a bastardization of cultures. But I'll often make a curry using Japanese curry blocks, and season chicken in a vaguely Indian style, then put it over rice. Really simple and delicious. I'm kind of proud of it but I wouldn't even know how to explain it to someone, much less actually serve it.

my special treat that my partner hates for me to make but gobbles up bowls of: White Rice, Ground Beef, and Cream of Mushroom soup (campbells can). White rice like you like it, Ground the beef and salt generously after draining grease (helps the beef pop out more in the taste), then I usually do half of the milk called for with the soup.

Bed of RIce in a bowl, ground beef on top, then pour the cream of mushroom soup on it. Such a warm and crazy good taste but I get looks whenever I bring it up so I don't make it that often unless it's just me for a few days.

Scoop of peanut butter

I put ketchup on bread and microwave it

Mine would probably be my ghetto breakfast sandwiches. I usually throw a little shredded cheese, diced onion, and hot peppers into a coffee mug and crack and egg into it and then scramble it. Microwave that for a min while i toast an English muffin or bagel. Then put it together with maybe a thin slice of ham. Excellent breakfast sandwich. People think I'm nuts for making the eggs in a microwave, but it works well, has an easy cleanup, and is super quick in the mornings before work.

It's bending the rules, since it's a camping meal, but I have made it at home, too, since it makes a great depression meal. I got it from backpackers, who I'm pretty sure got it from prison inmates:

The Ramen Bomb.

Cook a crushed up packet of instant ramen noodles, maybe with a little more water than usual. Add like half a packet of instant mashed potatoes. You can also add a protein, like... chopped up Spam. Maybe some hot sauce or other fixings if you're feeling fancy.

I hated how much I enjoyed it. Granted, that was when I was really tired and hungry, but that hit the spot.

Also, I've heard meals like the ones in this thread affectionately referred to as "glop," by a fellow glop-enjoyer.

Instant noodles, peanut butter, and sriracha. Crack an egg in near the end.

It's actually pretty close to pad thai, but screams of struggle meal

Another delicious hit - chocolate sandwiches!

Two slices of white bread, fill sandwich generously with hot chocolate mix. Deliciously dry and chocolatey.

Guacamole with cottage cheese. The Polish side of my family loves it, but I wouldn't dare add it to my guac when making it for the Mexican half of my family.

An entire loaf of French bread from the super market and a sobe (at least back when sobe existed)

Toasted bread with blue cheese, a fried egg, hot sauce and maple syrup on top.

Spicy lettuce hotdogs! Cook them meat sticks up however you want, wrap in lettuce, place in bun. Top with ketchup and habanero Tabasco.

Lutefisk. Served with heavy cream and melted butter. And Potato Klub as a side.

I leave it the reader to google it - if they dare.

Pan-fried canned chick peas with black pepper, butter, oregano, basil, and sometimes paprika, chili powder, and hot sauce if I want some kick.

I cook it when I'm in a rush or tired, it's done in 10-15 minutes, fills me up, and is packed with good protein.

But I would never feed it to anybody else, it's lazy bro/fitness food lol.

I sometimes open a can of vegetables and pour them in my mouth

Spaghetti Amoré (~$15 Serves 4-6)

• 16oz Box of Spaghetti
• 1lb Ground Turkey
• 1 Can Cream Of Cheddar
• 1 Can Cream of Mushroom
• 1 Can Tomato Soup
• 8oz of Shredded Mozzarella
• Spices: salt, black pepper, poultry seasoning, onion powder, garlic powder, oregano

Start boiling your pasta water, salt the water. Meanwhile, in a skillet start cooking the ground turkey till pink is gone. Once cooked, start seasoning with above spices to taste until satisfied, then move skillet to back burner on lowest setting to keep warm.

Preheat oven to 375. Once pasta water is boiling, add spaghetti and cook per instruction until al dente. Drain pasta in a colander, then return to pot.

While pot and spaghetti are still hot, add ground turkey and 3 soup cans to the pot and stir spaghetti until soups are evenly incorporated.

Dump contents of pot into a 9x13" casserole dish, spread contents evenly in the dish, then top with mozzarella cheese.

Bake in the oven till cheese has melted (about 5-10 minutes)

Remove from oven and let cool on stove for 5 minutes. Use a spatula to cut a square and serve warm.

Sometimes I slice some red Leicester cheese on a small plate and microwave it for around 30 seconds, until it melts. Then I eat it with a teaspoon. I first had it when I was desperately hungry but that cheese was literally the only food I had in, and I liked it enough I did it again. (Red Leicester cheese is like cheddar, but it tends to have a distinctly nutty flavour to it).

I used to have chives growing on the windowsill and it always tickled me to sprinkle some chopped chives over the cheese puddle, because a chive garnish feels very fancy but this "meal" was incredibly trashy.

I blend 2 eggs with a banana, and I fry it as if it's a pancake, with butter. It doesn't hold together, so it keeps coming out as if it's weird scrambled eggs. But it's delicious, the healthiest kind of pancake (with a drop of raw honey afterwards).

Hobo salad: Canned kidney beans, canned sweetcorn, canned tuna, salad dressing. If I'm feeling fancy/not lazy I'll add some chopped shallots or scallions.

Those sweet potatoes are close to Grandma Appalachia's traditional preparation that she got from a recipe her Irish aunt tore out of a magazine back in the 70s, but hers included a hoppy beer to balance the hot sauce

When I'm home alone, I'll sometimes revert to my "first apartment" mood and cook spaghetti with Campbell tomato soup in it, added with sautéed onions, mushrooms, hotdog sausages, and add cheese in it.

Is probably better than the crappiest thing I could come up with, but I wouldn't serve that too an adult. But maybe to children.

I haven't had this in a while but one if my lazy bachelor meals was baked potatoes with kim chee and sour cream.