this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2024
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Imagine running downstairs excitedly not knowing that any of this is there. You trip on a thousand little bottles crashing down the stairs, getting cut, scraped and basically opened up everywhere by broken glass and every opening getting filled with Carolina Reaper, Jamaican, Thai Chili, Texas barbecue and Louisiana Gumbo hot sauce. You smash your face on a bottle of Mama's Concentrated Habanero sauce, you're in so much pain and get ready to scream as a combination of Hank's Red Hot and Amanda's Hellfire go pouring into your mouth and nose. You can't see because a bottle of Mexican Tabasco broke on your forehead and now the mixture of your own blood and thick red sauce is slowly pouring into your eyes.
You breathe in once, scream and then pass out drowning in hot sauce, as your lifeless body goes sliding down the rest of the stairwell.
I would rest easy knowing I destroyed this assholes hot sauce collection.
Disco Elysium shit right there lmao
quick, someone think up a quippy headline for the obituary
Hot sauce, cold death
"Local Man Accidentally Tests Ring of Fire, Loses."
-More at 8
Hot stuff dies a cold death
The stairwell turns into one of those rescuer death traps like monoxide filled ground tanks.
An EMT runs in, screams when the wall of pain hits his lungs. No sound escaping his lungs as he drops unconcious from shock.
Not responsing, the emergency services send in more EMTs, all of them getting instantly deliciously marinated in the fumes of hell incarnate with a hint of garlic and mango
Eddie Murphy’s set about falling down the stairs remade by Michael Bay.
And most of these would taste the same. Cheap and tasting strongly of vinegar.
The funniest part is franks redhot ends up being better because it's designed to be cheap and vinegary anyway lol.
Not a big fan of smokey sauces either where it feels like they just mixed in liquid smoke and some chili powder.
Accurate. I love hot sauces, but I have had to tell friends and family to never buy me hot sauce because chances are it will suck or be samey. Especially those gift packs they push around the holidays.
Fewer than you think, I'd bet.
This person clearly likes hot sauce, and buys a lot of it. Maybe they just buy literally everything, but maybe they're more selective. I'd bet some of them are fermented, and some are lighter on the vinegar taste, even if they water it down a bit to focus on the pepper flavor. It isn't that hard to make even a cheap sauce not taste too overwhelmingly of vinegar
This guy ain't selective.
Look at his selection.
I can't. Too blurry to read any labels and I don't consume enough hot sauce to know what it is by looking at the shape of the bottle/color of the label.
I used to keep a collection, until I found ones I liked. Now I have about 8 different types that are best for different foods.
Some are definitely cheap and vinegar (which go great on fried chicken), some are earthy and barely sour for soups.
Overall though, few sauces that aren't gigantic commercial varieties taste similar. Even Frank's, crystals, Texas Pete and Louisiana all have distinct flavors
Exactly this! I keep a handful of different sauces for different foods, and I started making my own to fill in the gaps.
And I would eat them all.
Pretty much everything there is expired Some of those are so bad, it might have improved them.
Those bottles on the right are getting pushed to the side.
-
Climb up somehow.
-
Get a broom.
-
Empty the staircase.
- Get a broom
- Empty the staircase
- Climb up easily by using the now empty stairs
That would be the order if he was coming from the top. From the bottom, as photographed, this is a bit more of a problem.
Hands can work as brooms in a pinch.
I am used to brooms by the building entrance for use by any tenant. I would never use a broom indoors so i am not liekly to have a broom in my appartment unless i have a big balcony. So for me at least the opposite is true 🫠
Honestly if I seen that after a long day at work, I'm walking through it.
"...Kid I'm gonna go back outside and give you exactly 2 minutes to make me a path... "
He can slide up the rail which is also a good workout. Anons are fat and have pimples and the workout will help with one of these things.
Me, who needs to walk down these stairs.
Neighbors cat gets spooked by its own shadow, runs out the door, down the stairs, tripping over all the bottles, causing the house and neighborhood to be pepper sprayed by the breath of satan
If you're going to be stupid, be smart about it. Only the right side should be used. Use caution cones. Idk. Or just don't do it.
If you’re going to be stupid, be smart about it.
If only t'wer so simple.
But 'twas!
In my walkup? Wtf is a walkup?
An apartment complex with stairs and without an elevator.
Is it more common in some areas vs others? I've never heard the term used in real life, but I understood it from context.
I don't know but I am from NYC. I only heard the term used there.
Makes sense. I haven't seen an apartment with an elevator in quite a while, so perhaps the distinction just doesn't matter here. Most apartment complexes here are 3 floors or less, and I think there's a cap at 5 floors or something for regular construction because the only ones bigger than that are the massive towers downtown.
Ah, thank you
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Kid's got issues.
Why does one have a collection of hot sauce? I can deal with the concept of a collection of hot sauce BOTTLES.
Y'all dont have condiments in your house?
This guy found one he likes and just kept going. The endorphin kick from just bollocking yourself with some demon spice is probably a big part of it.
Well yes but how much condiment can he use? Can he even use all of it before ot goes bad? And does he even use them? Because using them means he'll run out eventually, making his collection incomplete.
Most hot sauce is mainly vinegar. It doesnt really have a shelf life, but if so, it's years and years.
Im betting that no, whoever has got the staircase full isn't going to use them all, but they will use some. At that stage, it's a collector enjoying collecting a foodstuff. They will enjoy a bit of them all, then enjoy seeing them and maybe the memories, like most collectors.
Works for me, as long as he keeps them off the communal fucking stairs.
I suppose I don't understand the general concept of collecting things just for the hell of it, especially food. That's on me, thank you for being patient.
I fully agree with you, and I have like 20 hot sauces. But I use them all!
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All that and no Reggae Reggae sauce?
bottle rolls down the stairs test.
They should have left a path on the left side as you go up. Reason being it's easier to balance going up than going down, and the majority of the population has a stronger right hand to grip the rail. Personally I'd ask them to clear a path, because they might just have been stupid and jump to it, but if they don't I'd go shove a few out of the way on the bottom step with my foot, giving them time to change their mind before I continue on up, leaving bottles rolling down in my wake.
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