I still remember when incel referred exclusively to the pro-SA demons on 8chan and a short list of other forums
this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2024
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I think nowadays the term incel has long been divorced from the literal "involuntary celibate" definition
People like Andrew Tate and Destiny gives off so much incel energy despite probably having a higher body count than 99% of men
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I'd be lying if I said I was never an incel, dating can be extremely hard for an introvert. I was never the misogynistic type though even if I was frustrated and wondering what's wrong with me. Misogynists will hate women whether they have sex or not, and they deserve equal hatred. It's also very true that the sexual activity and dating life of men is sadly correlated to their value as a man by the patriarchic system. It's perfecly valid to have difficulty in dating or not wanting to date at all as a man.
Looking back there's definitely a version of myself that could have become a misogynist incel if I had a different upbringing/role models/view on life and blamed women for not dating me instead of (correctly) identifying myself as the problem (low self esteem, depression, etc).
Still struggling with my own issues but I sure as hell don't blame women (or anyone else except maybe the bourgeoisie) for my own inability to develop romantic relationships.
blamed women for not dating me instead of (correctly) identifying myself as the problem (low self esteem, depression, etc)
I don't think you should blame women, but isn't it the case that society provides fucked up standards for both men and women to be judged against, and that trickles down to some individuals being socially ostracized? Maybe it was all your fault, but that's not something that can be generalized.
That and you really come across as blaming yourself for your depression. Maybe you were just a miserable loser and it was just a mindset problem, but having a mental disorder is nothing to blame yourself for.
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Dating apps sure haven't helped.
I don't talk about it much but I was a late bloomer and didn't sleep with someone until I was 25 and I haven't been (outside of a few dates) with anyone since and I'm well over 30. This was a good read. I often beat myself up that technically I'm an incel, even though I'm not interested in seeing anyone or wanting sex.
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Incels do a good job of making us hate them as it is. No patriarchy needed.