this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2024
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It’s a satire LinkedIn acct

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[–] Veedem@lemmy.world 55 points 2 months ago (3 children)

How many people on LinkedIn absolutely loved that? lol

[–] jewbacca117@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago

This guy's profile is the shining like in the depths of shit that is LinkedIn. Sometimes the comments are funnier than his posts. There are always people commenting like it's a serious post.

[–] noodlejetski@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago

42,078 according to the screenshot

[–] OfficerBribe@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

Who wouldn't? This is hilarious

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 33 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What’s 2+2?

Engineer: 4e0

Mathematician: grabs chalk and begins a proof

Accountant: what do you want it to be?

[–] TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

the accountant will tell you "2" and then keep 2 in crypto

[–] lazynooblet@lazysoci.al 32 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Oh the friends know. They talk about it between themselves, just too polite to say it directly.

[–] then_three_more@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The friends know and are doing the opposite, £12.38, becomes £12.83 etc

[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

No, no, £12.38 becomes the £22.91.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago
[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 2 months ago

That cheap bastard. Make him pay you back in cash!

[–] Shardikprime@lemmy.world 31 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Bro made 6 cents per day over 5 years LMAO 🤣

The cheapskate's friends meanwhile:

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If I had a friend like this, unless they were useful or more interesting than average people, I'd stop inviting them out.

I'll just let that friendship die, that's fine.

This is worse than what my friends and I usually do. We either do completely separate bills, or we trade back and forth who is paying. Nobody quibbles about how much, or how much more this time might be compared to last time. You pay the bill, and next time, your bill gets paid for you.

I take note whenever I'm paying more than once in a row, and if it becomes a trend that I'm paying for everything, I stop inviting people out. I'm not going to invite you out somewhere just to have me pay for it 100% of the time. If I wanted to pay for someone to keep me company, I'd hire a hooker.

[–] the_post_of_tom_joad@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I know ~~it's~~ the post is just a joke, but yeah money sadly is serious biz and beef between friends if things don't feel fair. It sucks but i chalk it up to the hellscape we live in.

Everyone has their money tics. A long time pal gets pissed if i pull the "whisper the waiter" trick and pay the whole dinner bill for example. For my part, I feel weird about owing people, like they'll hate me if i cant pay my way.

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh, I'm not joking.

I have very few, very loyal, very long-term friends. I like it that way. Knowing too many people gets to be problematic.

[–] the_post_of_tom_joad@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Er my bad i was referencin the post being a joke, not your reply being one. That was poorly phrased on my part

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 months ago
[–] Phoenix3875@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago (2 children)

God damn it Jimmy. I knew it was 1216, one after Magna Carta.

[–] Marighost@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Shardikprime@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Electricity buzzing noises INTENSIFIES

[–] smiletolerantly@awful.systems 1 points 2 months ago

Is there something like r/okbuddychicanery on Lemmy?

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Back in my college years, my cheapest friend would always conveniently "forget his wallet" when we were all going out to dinner, a fact he wouldn't reveal until after the bill arrived.

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I had a roommate that took advantage of me like that for 2 years. In the end I kept his security deposit because he cost me so much money

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

He would do it when we were out in groups, so he could spread it around. Thankfully he stopped being like that when he got older and a little more established.

[–] HeyJoe@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

That's a Seinfeld episode.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 9 points 2 months ago

Oh sure, they might not bother raising a big stink about that but I bet you at least some of them will remember. Until one day, when he’s at the end of his rope and in need of a friend, then they’ll leave him hanging.

[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Try that with a business and see how far you get.

spoiler alertIt isn't very far

[–] grysbok@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 2 months ago

I tend to transfer a penny or two extra when I'm annoyed with the business, just to fuck with their balance sheets.

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You don't do it to a business.

You only do it to your friends. Obviously.

[–] DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

I love that guy.

[–] Venator@lemmy.nz 3 points 2 months ago

I don't think I'd even notice if a friend did that to me 😅

[–] mEEGal@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago