this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2023
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At what age would you stop buying presents for nieces and nephews? I have 3 and they’re all officially out of college now. They live in a different state. When they were little kids the presents made sense but now it seems forced. I just don’t know how to transition away other than just not doing it.

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Honestly it’s up to you. You are never too old to give or receive a gift.

[–] InfiniteLoop@lemm.ee 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

one last gift with a final check and a letter congratulating them on making it to the real world. i think one of my aunts was still sending me stuff but i got a letter from my uncle i think telling me i’d made it to the real world. at some point the gifts felt nice but we’re also kinda pointless so I totally appreciated the letter and the congrats.

edit: i also agree with the other comment tho. if you see something that makes you think of someone, by all means buy them a gift! but you don’t have to force something every year

[–] ares35@kbin.social 7 points 1 year ago

"this completes the tutorial. welcome to level 1"

[–] Saraphim@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

Money. They like money. Everyone can use money. I have a nephew who is 29 years old - he came into the family at 13 and so wasn’t really part of the whole gift/celebration thing and didn’t visit with our family much. But he was still a kid and I wanted him to feel like someone was thinking about him on holidays. Now he’s got a wife and a baby and he’s a full ass adult and I don’t care. I still give him $50 on his birthday and Xmas. Because I still love him. Maybe he uses it to gas up his car. Maybe he uses it for diapers. Maybe he buys himself something with it - doesn’t matter. My nieces and nephews always get a present from me no matter their age, but after 13, everyone likes money.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

The answer is... when you no longer want to send them gifts. When it becomes a chore, its no longer being done in the usual spirit of gift giving and helps no one. Personally, I like sending small things I've 3d printed or otherwise made. my nephew and nieces will never be too old for flexi dinos.

spoilerThey may arrive slightly used. which is weird, because I'm obviously too old to play with dinos, right?

[–] IamtheMorgz@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Lol, I have 8 nibblings. It's always been a chore.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I can see that, lol.

[–] FUCKRedditMods@lemm.ee 13 points 1 year ago

College is old enough to stop. Graduating college is definitely old enough to stop. Just send cards and pictures or something if you want, but once they’re fully grownups it’s kind of weird and almost condescending to continue sending them cash.

If you have a particular gift that you think they’d love then by all means, but if you’re just phoning it in or sending them knicknacks out of a sense of obligation, I’d stop.

[–] capt_wolf@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Send them holiday cards. You don't have to put anything in them, but write a little something nice. They'll appreciate it, and it's a nice, mature alternative. Most people only get bills and ads in the mail. Getting a card is nice and unexpected.

[–] Llamajockey@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My family gives gifts till you die, quality goes down depending on how close your are and how old you're getting, but we all get/give something just to show some love

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 7 points 1 year ago

"Oh shit, I got a pencil eraser... What did the test results from my doctor say!?"

[–] Ubettawerk@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 year ago

I stopped giving them presents when they were around 20-22 years old. I transitioned to cash for a couple years then we just changed our gift-giving to a secret Santa type process instead

[–] VelociCatTurd@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

You could always switch over to snacks/baked goods. I get the secret-family-recipe cookies from my aunt every year and I always appreciate it.

[–] FarraigePlaisteach@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I started sending a hamper to each household instead with a card for the family. Cheaper and saves a load of time.

[–] twice_twotimes@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I’m imagining you sending off your dirty laundry to relatives for their birthdays, which is probably not what you mean. Does hamper mean something different for you?

[–] AmidFuror@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Mystery solved.

I’ve never heard that before! Where I live, at christmas a hamper contains assorted food and drinks.

[–] Shadow@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago

It's basically a gift basket.

[–] Bongles@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

If I am still seeing them every Christmas and I know I will they will always still get gifts. When/if they become family that I don't see, or maybe see around Christmas, then I might move to something like a card sent in the mail with a gift card or some cash, or even nothing at all.

[–] jbrains@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I want you to feel free to stop buying presents for anyone that you don't want to voluntarily buy presents for.

If it feels forced, then that means you don't mean it. So stop. It will be fine.

[–] rhythmisaprancer@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

Wow, my niece is eight and I find it challenging. Kudos for carrying on that long!