this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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all 38 comments
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[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 58 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Bow before your new king!!!! For I have received Excalibur from the lady of the ~~lake~~ box!!!!

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 61 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Well I didn't vote for you.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 43 points 4 days ago (2 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 38 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Well how do you become king then?

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 41 points 4 days ago (1 children)

The Lady of the Swordbox, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the box signifying by Divine Providence that I, Ininewcrow, was to carry Excalibur!

That is why I am your king!

[–] steventhedev@lemmy.world 52 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Bottom rack retail workers distributing replica weaponry is hardly a good basis for a system of government

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 28 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] BobbyGasoline@lemmy.world 28 points 4 days ago (2 children)

You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some ~~watery~~ ren fair tart threw a sword at you!

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 21 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 22 points 4 days ago (2 children)

(gets grabbed by store security)

Ah now we see the violence in the system.

COME SEE THE VIOLENCE IN THE SYSTEM!

HELP! HELP! I'M BEING REPRESSED!

[–] Lemming421@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 12 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

"How'd you know he was a Karen?"

"'E ain't got shit all over 'im."

[–] frostysauce@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

A SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL!?

[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!

If I was to say that I'm the emperor because some underpaid and overworked employee lobbed a foam claymore at me, they'd put me away!

[–] Mikug@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

You clearly haven't heard of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth

[–] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 3 points 2 days ago

I'm so fucked bruh I can't even imagine king Arthur as a man anymore

[–] Jerb322@lemmy.world 36 points 4 days ago (1 children)

"By th power...."

"Get the hell out of here! Can't you read?!"

[–] Tedesche@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII HAAAAAAVE THE POWEEEEEEEEER!!!

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 1 points 2 days ago

"Sword of Omens, give me sight beyond sight"

[–] TotallyNotSpezUpload@startrek.website 29 points 4 days ago (2 children)

How about: "By the power of Grayskull…"?

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 18 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Only if the sword will actually transform you into He-Man.

[–] TotallyNotSpezUpload@startrek.website 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Well, mine only transforms me into She-Gal. I hope the shop owners won't frown on that.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 15 points 4 days ago

There's already a She-Ra, ya know...

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 6 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

If you took some LSD beforehand ..... for the user they did actually transform into He-man ..... or a hippopotamus .... whatever .... they still get the sword. .... alright Man-at-arms! Let's roll!!

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 4 points 4 days ago

I will also accept:

"Thunder... Thunder. Thunder! ThunderCats!!! Hooooooooooooooooo!"

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

It says "there can only be one" but there are in fact many swords to do this with.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

You can reduce the numbers faster if you don't need to keep taking the time to clean and sharpen.

[–] gift_of_gab@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Oh there's a question... if you do a good Freddie Mercury impersonation can you pull out a sword? I would say yes.

[–] gift_of_gab@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago

If you shout "I have inside me blood of Kings!" is a store worker required to shout "Yeah!" back?

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

There can be only two!

Wait, I screwed up. Can I get a Mulligan?

[–] jawa21@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] A7thStone@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

Form Blazing Sword!

[–] humble_pete_digger@lemm.ee 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Was that a reference to a highlander show?

[–] ikidd@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago
[–] germtm_@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

demoknight tf2 moment.