I can't tell you everything, Michael

In fairness, one single person seems like a pretty small government

Ass men aren't born; they're made.

Wow, watching Where The Wild Things Are in French must have been a surreal experience

This is the greatest description ever written of Trump's speeches

Put your thumbnail in between the middle of the ziplock and pry it open from the middle.

AR15s are part of God's plan

Is your hat an angry raccoon?

Sounds like someone's got a case of the Mondays

Does it match the manga?

Ducks have wings and can fly. Ostriches have wings and can't fly. So it's not the wings that make the ducks fly, it's something else entirely.