Comradeship // Freechat

I'm on episode 11 currently (if anyone posts spoilers I will send you to a Gulag) and it's good. I did think it was going to be a procedural but I forgot thats more of an American thing (no I don't want to discuss the cultural and historical reasons why America was the birthplace and is the home of the procedural TV show). I will say it was a little hard to keep track of who is who and what their positions were, both because I'm bad at remembering names and also because intially you're jumping between Beijing and Handong, but I'm getting the hang of it.

Interestingly, I only two gunshots (as a dispersal method which im pretty sure is portrayed as a bad thing by the show) has been fired (not including the flashback to the 2nd sino japanese war). As an American I had to remember that not everything ends in massive gun violence (/s). I will say I'm not...very versed with how the chinese government works so how promotion and transfers and certain other specifics relating to laws and such (i.e, I assumed incorrectly that the Procuratorate would have automatic jurisdiction over people suspected of corruption that municipal police couldn't just block, since in the USA usually the federal law enforcement like the FBI trumps local law fairly easily)

I do like it so far and do really appreciate that most characters do have a decent amount of depth to them, even the antagonists. I'll have an update once I'm further in but I did want to see if anyone else has opinions on the show. It's definitely nice that i can get my cop/detective show fix with no guilt as compared to watching American shows.

im looking for some good music

not an accelerationist or anything, but people here are so fucking stupid especially in germany. just a ragepost dont mind please

Obviously I am not saying I'm smart generally, or that some people are inherently mentally deficient. But i will say that to a certain extent I'm smarter than the people who I interact with and whom make up the government that governs me. Obviously not in all feilds (I trust I am a worse chef than those who are chefs and a worse physicist than those who are physicists and such), but in broader more systematic ways probably. And of course ideologically.

I mean, when you hear that Henry Ford couldn't remember basic American history, or you see tech entrepreneurs make stupid, stupid decisions, or when I hear Justice Scalie cite fictional character Jack Bauer to justify torture, or when you hear Richard Feymann say you shouldn't brush your teeth or that he would fool people into thinking he was speaking a "regional dialect" of their native tongue by speaking gibberish, or when you simply listen to George Bush or Ronald Reagan or Rishi Sunak or any number of officials speak. It makes me think "wow I am smarter than these people. I am ergo very smart and can teach others with decisive authority"

Azure Scapegoat (who is a fairly decent youtube channel [which is high praise from me]) talks about the exact feeling when you realize you aren't smart, it's just that society is stupid. That CPC youth league members are more intelligent than you, even in matters of ideology (Seen here:https://youtu.be/GoHxcRxX4L8).

Of course learning never ends but the absolute depth of the unknown is very demoralizing. I was thinking of making a substack and writing but I realized that all I would be doing would be just saying "listen to these people." That's not helpful, no? Especially when I lack the investigative ability to find new sources or to evaluate the efficacy of said sources. I am not like others who will proudly dictate knowledge while not having it, but humility does not create usefulness. I can say "oh no no I do not know that much." But that is not solving problems, it is preventing harm. Of course I do strive to learn and to improve myself, this is not me giving up, but simultaneously I do wish to discuss these emotions and thoughts i have.

Well, obviously I'm not currently in receipt of it due to my appeal, but still. When I first started claiming, people were often rude and insulting towards me because of it, but as my illness progressed and I pretty much withdrew from the world, I thought at least I wouldn't have to listen to it any more. But today I'm even getting it at home from my landlady.

She gave her daughter £20K for a house deposit last year. She couldn't afford it, she put it on a credit card, at least most of it. Now she's in debt and complains about it constantly. She sucks up to her daughter and then takes her frustrations out on me. Just now she was on the phone to her daughter, and her daughter was telling her about how she has a holiday planned, after just coming back from abroad, and has just bought a new expensive bike, and been out partying, etc, all kinds of expensive things. And my landlady was cooing "Ooh how lovely!" and acting all nice about it.

As soon as she got off the phone, she started angrily having a go at me, saying when my benefits are reinstated and I've paid off the rent debt that's racking up, she's putting my rent up by 50% as she needs the money. I didn't feel this was fair and said it's not my fault she's in debt, she shouldn't have given her daughter £20K if she couldn't afford it. She started yelling, "She needs a house, and she works for her money! You don't even work for yours!"

And talking about how it's her money anyway as she used to be a taxpayer and my benefits come out of taxes. Well, I used to be a taxpayer too before becoming disabled.

It sounds pathetic but I feel like crying now. I've got no-one to talk to in real life. I haven't spoken to anyone but my horrid landlady, medical staff and delivery drivers in years. It just drives home that everyone from the DWP to the government to the general public thinks I'm undeserving of even the basic necessities of life and a burden to everyone. They act like benefit claimants are living it up, having a wonderful time, when the reality is reassessments on average every 2 years for me, appeals, and having to beg for every little thing.

If it wasn't for this site and hexbear I would have ended it by now, these are the only places I have for friendship, emotional support and financial help. But even here I have to repost over and over on mutual aid when I need something, wondering if I'll be able to get the things I need. And forget ever having anything just for fun or pleasure, or to make life worthwhile, that's a distant dream. I try to convince myself that I'll get my benefits reinstated and then I'll be able to do the online art course I want to take and join the Order of Druids, but in reality who knows if I'll win my appeal or if I'll even by able to do anything after a 50% rent increase.

I don't understand why they won't just legalise assisted suicide for the disabled, nobody wants us anyway. And I hate those stupid cancer adverts for macmillan and cancer research, showing cancer patients surrounded by caring loved ones, showered with support and given all the help they need. It's not like that at all. At first people are shocked by your diagnosis and sympathetic but as your illness wears on and you get worse people get tired of you and can't be bothered with you any more. The country doesn't want to pay for you, the NHS waiting list is a million years long so your condition ends up worse than it had to be, and everyone treats you like scum because you don't work any more.

And I get blamed for my landlady's debt, just like the disabled in general get blamed for the country's debt. The disabled are accused of bankrupting the country with the benefits bill while MPs give themselves a payrise. I get told my benefits aren't my money anyway and that I'll have to pay more while my landlady almost bankrupted herself by giving her daughter a house deposit and wasting a fortune on horses and her estranged husband's nonsense (don't even get me started on that, it's an absolutely infuriating story.)

The daughter might work for her money but she also has a life, fun, holidays, family and friends. They act like I'm so lucky I get "free money" from other people, but what has that cost me? It's cost my life - I have nothing worthwhile, no fun, no friends, no freedom and nothing to look forward to. And everyone treats me like something they found on the bottom of their shoe - I have no other use to society so I might as well be used as society's punchbag.

I try so hard to find things to live for but at moments like this I wonder why I even bother.

Well, the foot infection has come back. They aren't even going to bother trying antibiotics and things this time since they never worked last time. I've been put forward for surgery straight away. I'm just waiting for them to get back to me with the date. I'm going to have to buy the post-surgical supplies all over again, waterproof shower boots, bandages, etc. The NHS doesn't pay for those things and I can't have the surgery without them. Due to my benefit appeal I can't pay for these things myself.

The items are £37 a pack and I need two packs. I might also need to buy extra bandages later depending on how long recovery takes.

If I get my disability benefits reinstated, they are going to check my bank account. I'm not allowed to earn money, but I am allowed to receive gifts of money. If anyone is able to help with this, please write in the box that it's a gift so I can prove this.

If you can help my paypal is the_mighty_tabs@hotmail.co.uk

cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/5293936

[$0 of $300 complete]

Since it's pride month, my fundraising isn't over yet

For those who didn’t know, I am a 29-year old gamer and college student. I was diagnosed with autism since early age.

I am very dependent on my pension and my aunt on my budget, however most of it went for food. So I have set this fundraising to help me cover college-related fees, free tuition couldn’t cover beyond intended purpose.

Update: Thanks for giving me $100! I set my new goal to $300.

Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/ahriboy/goal

Please if you can spare anything, Thank you!

(For more information,questions, Or for any other ways to send donations/gift cards/etc. if any of the above options don’t work for you, please DM me!!!)

Occasionally I'll read about pre-luther/pre-catholic/orthodox split and...idk, it feels like people actually cared? I mean i dont want to say modern Christians don't care about Christianity, but genuine theological debate about the fundamentals of Christianity is a lot more interesting than "noooo the pope has too much power" (I know its more than that but compared to some of the more interesting stuff like splits between mainline Christianity and nestorianism and gnostic sects etc. It's a lot less interesting).

I know I'm oversimplifing it but I wanted to say something since I dont see people really mention it anywhere

Boy oh boy! Is it just me, or are democrats particularly insufferable as of lately?

Lately, I'm seeing vast discontent under the Trump administration (rightfully so, from their POV), but I swear all democrats can say is their stupid taglines, "But Kamala's laugh was weird 😐", "We would all be at Brunch if y'all voted 💅"...

What the hell, do these people seriously think that's the reason they lost? Because their candidate had an annoying laugh?!

Plus, it's not like Trump being an incompetent moron makes the democrats look any better, it just makes them look like the morons who lost to other morons.

But alright, you go guys, protest peacefully, and try not to bother your opponents or be rude, you don't want to turn your wholesome Star Wars #resistance into a Bolshevik takeover! The worst part is that they truly feel like revolutionaries. Like with 50501, they won't accomplish anything but to show off.

The american people have to wake up and change things fast. Gotta say though, the California protests and the New York socialist mayor candidate at least give me some hope. Sure, maybe not revolutionaries, but still, at least it looks like the Americans are slowly doing progress.

And I'm not even Statesian! The worst part in my opinion is that you can't ignore it; as long as USA is the main power, and seeks the interest of the capitalists, communism worldwide has to fight the battle uphill.

Thoughts? Will democrats double down or realize the system is rotten at its core?

and as a joke with a mate of mine. please enjoy

How the fuck do you even justify that?

One of our party leaders was posting a picture with one of their members of Parliament saying how brave she is etc

Quick search tells me they are a marxist party but it's still Israeli

I recently read this article from John Bellamy foster where he mentions that the US strategists think they can engage in "limited nuclear war", that is, use nuclear weapons on "tactical" targets and keep nuclear war at a "low" level.

Supposedly, the idea is that the US moves up from low level targets to more important targets, and that at each stage, the Chinese will not escalate because escalation would be top costly for the Chinese (since the Chinese only have ICBMs, their only option of escalation is MAD).

Aparantly, this strategy has also become part of official US doctrine.

My first thought on this is that this strategy is completely insane, because China will not allow it to be played out. If 1 nuke goes off all of them go off.

My second thought on this is that I have no idea what the actual Chinese nuclear policy is, other than their statement to never use nukes in a first strike capacity. Does anybody know of any sources that go into detail on this?

This is a novel about the peoples of China and Korea fighting shoulder to shoulder in the war to resist U . S . aggression and aid Korea . It describes how a scout squad of the Chinese People ' s Volunteers penetrates deep into the rear of the Syngman Rhee ' s " crack " Wolf Regiment and , together with the Korean guerrillas operating be hind enemy lines , helps the main forces in wiping out the US." Cobra " artillery unit and Wolf Regiment . The dagger used by a young Korean guerrilla crystal lizes the friendship sealed with the blood of the Chinese and Korean peoples in their common struggle , radiating with the bril liance of proletarian interna tionalism . With an ardent pen , the writer gives a graphic character ization of the C . P . V . scout leader Liang Han - kuang , the Korean guerrilla commander Kim Jong Man , and many others .

Things you would only post from an alt account lol.

The one thing they don't tell you about pulmonary embolism is for a time it makes you anxious about everything. It really pulls your confidence out of you. I don't know why PEs specifically, but almost everyone reports it.

Of course mine happened a year ago, so I'm well past the initial stages. I just feel like I didn't have the opportunity to recover fully as my other problems (the nausea vomiting medical mystery) happened so soon after. Haven't been able to go back to the gym since January, and I could barely go once or twice a month before that.

On top of that my symptoms are coming back stronger. I was brushing my teeth just earlier + mouthwash and that was enough to get me heaving for several minutes. I once again had to gather all my inner strength to stop myself from throwing up. After ~2 months of doing relatively better, it's back to being essentially disabled. I kinda saw it coming, I noticed it over the past few weeks.

My hairdresser appointment is tomorrow. I'm excited because I really need it, I haven't had a cut in 2.5 years as I was growing out my hair and I need it cleaned and cut shorter. I'm thinking chin length.

But on the other hand I'm just imagining myself coming in tomorrow saying hey so, I'm on blood thinners so if you accidentally cut me let me know so I can do my thing (press down on the wound for a few minutes), also we might have to take breaks so I don't puke on your floor, also I need a shampoo because I haven't washed my hair yet this week, also I know you only have 35 minutes with me. lol.

I have to MRIs scheduled this month. They found two spots on my liver during the CT scan but they're not concerned, they think it could be an imaging artefact. The other MRI is for my brain cause they have no idea where to look anymore. My dr said after that we may do a hormonal assessment and after that I don't know, guess I'll get there when I get there.

I also ordered a medical bracelet. They're not really seen often in Europe, but I feel like it'll be beneficial. You never know, I mean, not just if I get into an accident and can't respond, but also if I forget to let someone know about my medication when they should be aware.

I also need to get my teeth cleaned at the hygienist but in my condition forget about it. Can't get anything near my mouth for more than 30 seconds lol. Been fantasizing about it though, that's how much I appreciate the small things in life now.

Idk. Is this depression? I'm not very good at figuring out what's wrong with me.

On the one hand I really like certain things about life. And I like having one. And I know I only get one. And I dont know what death feels like.

But at the same time, I'm so goddamn lonely all the time. I'm so useless and I really can't feel like I can change that before everything goes to shit. I'm a shit person. I dont deserve to live more than so many other people who have died. And it just feels like no matter what I do that it's all going to end up the same way. So I just don't feel like there's any point in doing anything.

I'm trying where I can. I really am. But I feel so trapped and so alone. Sometimes I feel like it'd be better to stop wasting my time and everyone else's time and just skip to the conclusion. But no, I'm too much of a coward to do that either

Exactly — capitalism is a massive, systemic gaslighting operation.

It tells you:

“If you’re struggling, it’s because you’re not working hard enough.”

“If others are succeeding, it’s because they deserve it.”

“The rules are fair and equal for everyone.”

But in reality, the system:

Stacks the odds against you from the start

Rewards people for their privilege, not their merit

Masks inequality as personal failure

This constant distortion makes people doubt their own experiences and worth, while legitimizing the power and wealth of those who benefit.

It’s psychological control on a massive scale — keeping people focused on blaming themselves instead of challenging the system.

Recognizing this gaslighting is a huge step toward reclaiming your power and seeing the truth of how things really work.

We are going to die. Our kids will die. Our partners are going to die. Our family is going to die. Our friends are going to die. Our pets are going to die. And, everyone who we ever knew and knew us is going to die. So ultimately all that is going to be left is the movement towards socialism and communism, and our mark is going to be what we did to further it even if people don’t remember it.

I'm being hyperbolic, but after watching videos like this one (https://youtu.be/kya_LXa_y1E) or this one (https://youtu.be/6HlCfwEduqA) I really felt the frustration of having people who don't know what they're talking about come up with garbage theories or horrible explanations or complete misinterpretations and then having to do triple to work to reexplain everything because of that. Cause that really is the marxist educator experience where it's like "no, the labor theory of value doesn't mean that if you take two hours to make the same thing as the guy who made it in one hour yours is more valuable. No, trading with others is not capitalism. No, marx/lenin/stalin/Mao etc. Didnt say that. Etc."

Where did the “Donate to the IOF” button go?

I started growing my hair out before I got sick, and then wanted to get a cut last year but, yknow, everything happened lol.

Anyway since I'm doing better at the moment I'm ready to go get one but all stylists use an online appointment scheduling thingy and you have to select your cut there.

I assume men's haircut is fine, but just wanted to make sure. Is it enough time? Are they going to complain because my hair is long? It's not super long, upper back length something like that. I want to bring it back to a convenient chin-shoulder length.

I think I'm just gonna take a mens haircut and let them deal with it lol. It should be enough time for a basic cut.

But also happy to hear some tips if you have cool long hair advice to share.

Thank you so much to those who came through.

I need to use medical-grade laundry disinfectant because I'm an immunocompromised cancer patient and recovering from surgery. I get a lot of infections, especially skin infections. On multiple occasions the skin infections have gotten so bad I've been hospitalised to treat them. The pharmacist recommended I use this laundry disinfectant and it's helped a lot.

I've posted a lot about my financial issues and why I can't afford to buy things for myself. I'm still waiting to find out about my disability benefits.

The disinfectant bottles are now £10.59 each. I need to order 4 to get free delivery. Either that or pay an extra £3.30 for postage. I need 2 bottles of this a month. According to the latest letter I received from the DWP, my appeal is expected to be heard in January. So I will need 14 bottles to see me through until then. Any help is appreciated, whether it's ordering and sending them to me or contributing to the cost.