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Trump Attempts To Soften Image With New Airbrushed JCPenney Beauty Shots (theonion.com)

submitted 3 weeks ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social

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[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

I didn't bite the onion on this one, but only because it's too TAME. Real life is much crazier than this.

If it were a realistic kind of crazy, he would have done the photo shoot in Florida with alligators, and lost a finger.

[–] cybervseas@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

And his devotees would have cut off their own fingers in solidarity.

[–] athairmor@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I think the JC Penney photos would actually work with swing voters. They just need a reason to not be ashamed to vote for him.

[–] ShellMonkey@lemmy.socdojo.com 1 points 3 weeks ago

Maybe, but then the uber tough guy fascist sorts might say he's gone soft. Not that it would turn the to Harris but might stay home.

[–] AlligatorBlizzard@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 weeks ago

There's a picture of me as a kid holding a baby alligator. You can just tape their mouth shut, the jaw muscles to open their mouths are weak, it's closing their mouth that can crunch bone. I'm not sure the gators like it much though, lol.

On a tangentially related note, check out Gatorland if you're ever in Orlando. It's a fun time and one of the few remaining old Florida tourist attractions and a perennial field trip destination for the local school kids, that's why I've been there several times.

[–] DarkDarkHouse@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 2 weeks ago

It would have been Hugo Boss.