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Yes, lot of stuff that you can't even think about.
Your mind is playing tricks on you. It manipulates reality into an image that seems hopless and for you its the true state of the world.
Step 0 is to find safe space.
For starters I began with walking out of the house as much as possible (walks, riding a bike, hanging out in the libraries and malls to not freeze during wintrer)
Find minimum wage job that you can hold for a longer amount of time so you can earn money to try and rent a room somewhere to escape from your house.
Then you can proceed into step number one, where therapy and medication begin to work as you have safe space to go back to every day.
There maybe a possibility to convince your parents to send you away into the university and to live in cheap dorm rooms where you could escape from home and back in your healing journey.