this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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Yeah, or any sort of indirect - non-confrontational communication. As I've gotten more experience I've learned to take it as a red flag in and of itself, though. I need someone who has the strength and decency to do direct communication. I know why people won't -- trauma, fear -- but having been in failed relationships with people who wouldn't do real-talk or direct communication no matter how safe I tried to make them feel, and seeing how that put unfair burdens on me and sabotaged those relationships, now I just won't fuck with anyone who can't be direct and upfront.
Still awful though especially because this sort of indirect communication is often the result of systemic sexism and gendered pressures and violence.