Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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hm, do you know anyone who would be willing to do your makeup for you?
I know you can always go pay someone to do that for you (e.g. in the U.S. you can go to a Sephora to get a make-over), but sometimes girlfriends are willing to do makeup for fun, if I were there I would totally do your makeup for you 😊
either way I'm sorry to hear about your fusiform gyrus - do you know why it's shot? That doesn't sound great 🫠
I’ve actually survived two strokes and walk with a cane. The right half of my body is generally a mess, but my rehab has done well for me. At least I can walk!
Also, insofar about me from the neck down, I’m intensely sex-repulsed and have zero breast matter going on. I use slight padding to give gentle curves there, but nothing major. So showing chest generally can’t happen with me looking even more masculine.
Honestly, I may as well keep playing the hand I’ve been dealt, because there’s not many other options for me.
And really, I don’t have any cis people I talk to without a cash register within touching distance.
Two strokes, trans, and yet still pushing forward against the shit shoveled your way. You are objectively kicking ass despite the hand dealt & that needs to be said.
Some great tips above that I won't try to clumsily add to, but you have my best wishes. I hope you get to where you want to be.
for real, she's crushing it - I am amazed 🤩
That is mind-blowing. It is impressive you have survived two strokes and are still walking and talking, let alone with style and doing so well.
You definitely don't have to emphasize breasts, it's just one way I happen to feminize and honestly for me it's rarely that I feel sexualized or busty, but instead the gestalt is just that it "looks better" by not emphasizing my more masculine qualities. I just don't want to look like a man, so those strategies help. It's unfortunate feminization is sexualization in Western / Christian society - we are made to feel uncomfortable in our bodies if we feminize, and are judged if we are too feminine as being manipulative and sexual.
Either way, you have a sense of your preferences and that's awesome, and it also sounds like you already have a good sense of how things look on you, which is also great.
And regarding getting someone else to do makeup, it doesn't have to be a cis person - I bet there are trans women in your community who could do your makeup, even just for fun.
It sounds like it would be impractical as a daily thing, but it can be nice to doll up for special occasions, and having some way to do that might be fun for you. Just brainstorming, but I also understand if this is just not a priority considering everything else going on - survival comes first, and you have been doing a great job with that.
Thank you for being so open, kind, and vulnerable with me. 💕
So I’m ace and sex-repulsed, right? I’ve got a body that at least advocates for that and gives me almost no secondary sex characteristics. And a friend of mine once noticed that I have, in her words, “energy like Kara from Detroit Become Human,” and so I play up that android/robot vibe in subtle ways with how I arrange my hair and dress myself.
I just wish people would see the feminine in me, which has been cooking for eleven years. :(
Well, from your photo I definitely can see the feminine, it's not like it's not there - I just think there are some remnant masculine qualities that seems to be tripping some people up. You're not that far away, and in a more gender-expansive group you are already there - I am able to think of you as a woman, but I have more practice doing this because I'm a trans woman who tries to make an effort to interact with other trans women and participate in our community.
It sounds like you enjoy having a bit of an agendered androgynous body, which is definitely a look you're giving, and that comes through (I love it, very authentic and captures "you"). Honestly the problem might be more with how people "see" - male characteristics tend to be more heavily weighted or considered when gendering someone than feminine qualities (maybe due to sexism, tbh - not sure why the psychology works that way). This puts the onus on diminishing those masculine qualities more (or less effectively, over-emphasizing feminine ones) to compensate, which then probably feels imbalanced.