this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2025
147 points (98.0% liked)

Transfem

4380 readers
99 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

Some helpful links:

Support Hotlines:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Despite how a lady at the bookstore “struggled with” my pronouns and bounced off “he” several times before settling on “they” cause apparently she couldn’t bring herself to say “she.”

Shit’s hard out there.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] pooberbee@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

It's fine for you to conform and set those goals for yourself, but please don't put that on others. Not passing doesn't make a person nonbinary.

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Yeah, I don’t pass but I’m definitely binary. My goal isn’t even to pass (though if I could it would be nice, but there’s so much medical shit wrong with me it prolly won’t happen), but is to stay alive, safe, and respected in that order.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Sorry, I never meant to imply OP is non-binary - I just wanted to be sensitive and not assume they were binary; additionally I was thinking about how rough it is to live as a gender non-conforming person, esp. for some non-binary folks whose gender expressions and identities don't fit in society (and how that will always be true for them, it's not a rough stage that might end, as it can be for some binary trans folks early in their transition - that's just life for them, what is authentic to them is what creates friction in society, and that really sucks).

Not passing is entirely separate from identity, and identity can be quite separate from expression, too. Some trans women are binary but never medically or socially transition, their expression conforms to cis male norms their whole lives - but they're still women, for example.