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Report: You Could Quit Job Right Now And Just Play PS5 Until You Run Out Of Money
(www.theonion.com)
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
i did this last winter; i firmly believe everyone has and needs slovenly unemployment periods to remind you of the perils of not working [but in equal measure, the bliss of not working and the amount of luxury you can just coast on]
I'm doing this right now. It's the first time in 10 years I haven't had someplace I needed to be 5 days a week. It's really changing my perspective on what I need out of a job and what I could be improving in my life if I weren't spending that time working.
Ugh I wish... been working since I was 15 and I guess had the luxury of never not having a job? 25 years now and the longest break I have ever seen was 3 weeks for the birth of 1 of my children. The other was only 2 weeks. I can also count the amount of times I had 2 weeks off which was 3 times. The rest has been the normal 1 week off twice a year with a few other days here and there.... I'm so tired.
This is horrific. I complain at my 5 week a year allowance sometimes because I feel It's not enough to avoid burnout at some points in the year... My productivity drops substantially after around 2 months with no break. I still output of course but if I take a two-three week summer break I come back dealing with issues that almost destroyed me before the break within hours or minutes and I can manage my team far more naturally. I think 8 weeks per year of holiday would genuinely boost my output overall.
Holy Christ I'm not the person you replied to and I am lucky if I take a total of about 11 days off throughout an entire year...
I feel permanently burnt out and would happily put a gun in my mouth just to have it be over with.
I also forgot to mention the current place I have been with is 24/7 and have been here for 17 years now. Since we're 24/7 we only provide the bare minimum federal holidays a year which is 6. I also am technically always on call so if the stuff I support has an issue i can be called anytime any day even on vacation, which has happened the past 3, although not this year! I will say over my time of being here emergency calls are far and between these days thankfully. I almost can't wait for the day they fire me, I am so trained to be stressed I don't know what the other feels like anymore.
Like damn I'm in the exact same boat. Same number of years on the job and everything.
I always considered myself lucky to not be unemployed, while all my friends got laid off over the years due to the .com crash, housing crash, and COVID.
But maybe they were the lucky ones?