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How much everything still hurts. Physically, emotionally, everything. How much I hate that I'm still trucking away, trying to do the right thing.
And it's so lonely.
It doesn’t have to be lonely. Just find some hobby and join a group. Most people younger or older feel great about having older people talk about projects and things they’re passionate about. It’s surprisingly welcoming.
It's kind of a privilege to have time or energy for things like that. I'm a single parent of abused children with significant mental health issues, and was a victim myself. Any time I find is spent maintaining my house or crying into my pillow. If my oldest manages to become a functional adult, maybe I'll eke out some scraps of energy.
I hope you do. It's hard to parent through trauma, especially when you have to maintain a job as well. I'm sure you are a great parent though and your kids have their best chance at being functional adults because of you. Stay strong❤️