this post was submitted on 23 Dec 2023
243 points (97.6% liked)

Not The Onion

12203 readers
419 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Cypher@lemmy.world 49 points 10 months ago (3 children)

The whole story just gets weirder every sentence.

[–] XeroxCool@lemmy.world 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I didn't beleive it would but it did

[–] Deceptichum@kbin.social 31 points 10 months ago (2 children)

A Mount Carmel man who is a registered sexual offender allegedly assaulted and injured his wife after she cut off Wi-fi as he was playing the video game Fortnite with young children online.

Also the stuff about the wife’s boyfriend makes me think this guy spends time on 4Chan.

I just immediately thought this guy must be a regular on /b/

[–] wildginger@lemmy.myserv.one 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The "with young children" bit is definitely inflammatory and uncalled for. Unless he was playing a "12 and under only" game mode, that bit is only in there because it makes the sex offender bit sound scarier.

"Oh no, the kidz are playing with sex offenders online!" style fear mongering. The loser was playing with randos, 95% odds, and if there was evidence that the 5% predation odds was what was actually happening that would be half the article

[–] BigPotato@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The wife decided to cut off the Wi-Fi because she didn't want him talking to kids online. He might've been in an 18+ game but the wife thought he was there to creep on kids and got a TV allegedly thrown at her for it.

[–] wildginger@lemmy.myserv.one 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Is that in the article? How did I miss that

[–] BigPotato@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

She told police she came downstairs and found Griest was talking to young kids online on Fortnite. She did not want him to have contact with the children because he is a registered sex offender, according to the affidavit. The wife then cut off the Wi-fi, which caused Griest to throw the television at her.

Fourth-ish paragraph. That's what she told the police.

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

The article started with Mt Carmel, so that's just a regular Tuesday. Shit goes down on Mount Carmel.

[–] AnalogyAddict@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Written by AI, maybe?