this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2024
65 points (100.0% liked)
askchapo
22765 readers
301 users here now
Ask Hexbear is the place to ask and answer ~~thought-provoking~~ questions.
Rules:
-
Posts must ask a question.
-
If the question asked is serious, answer seriously.
-
Questions where you want to learn more about socialism are allowed, but questions in bad faith are not.
-
Try !feedback@hexbear.net if you're having questions about regarding moderation, site policy, the site itself, development, volunteering or the mod team.
founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
yes of course there are, the interesting corollary is what about patriarchy makes that seem invisible and if that applies to other fetishes. is there a fetish stereotyped as femme?
vampires
magic
suits / uniforms
literature
chest
tall
little spoon
protection
fixable
Men fetish
Hands, maybe
Forearms are the big one I can think of.
Thatβs all I can think of. Though unlike guys freely admitting all their weird fetishes thatβs stereotyped as masculine, I rarely see or hear women talk about anything more extremely than bondage lol.
???
Like the car manufacturer? Am I missing something here?
Women cannot resist when the VTEC kicks in bro
How could you resist those calves?
talk to more women. most of my friends are into some real wild shit and they aren't shy about it
I personally know three women who have major CNC kinks.
CNC machines? They get turned on by programmable routers?
"Consensual non-consent". It's a whole interesting niche of dom/sub sexuality. The women I know in real life who are into CNC play were SA victims. They've said that CNC with a trusted dominant partner helped them regain some power/control.
I'm not passing any judgement on those women, I can see how that might be like exposure therapy or something. But those "dominant partners"... You have to be turned on by the idea of assaulting someone. I wouldn't be able to do that and I wouldn't be comfortable around someone who could. Knowing it's consensual overall wouldn't make it feel less wrong.
But over time I've soured on the whole concept of BDSM, at least the S part. I don't feel good about people who enjoy hurting others, even if it's in a consensual and controlled way. Everyone has sexual fantasies but not all of them are healthy or positive. I'm not saying repress everything, but I also don't think getting consent makes everything fine. It feels like a technicality. Even if it's consensual, you're still enacting the steps of sexual assault or torture.
"Conventional" romantic/sexual relationships are full of unhealthy, weird stuff. But I don't think it's possible to escape that through subcultures. There may be some positive changes, but the same dynamics get mirrored and reflected in other ways. It's like playing whack-a-mole.
To be frank, this comes across as a little white-knight-ish.
What should I think instead? It's actually good and cool to enjoy simulated sexual assault and sexual violence on someone else. You can enjoy scenarios where you perform sexual assault, as long as you have consent, which is never influenced by social circumstances or relationship dynamics. Like, I consent to getting a job, but there's still critiques of work, and I can't really not have a job.
How is that not liberalism? You obeyed the one rule so it's fine. We don't need to look into the underlying dynamics or ask why these fantasies exist. It's just human nature to want to pretend to assault or torture someone.
I think I have a slightly more fleshed out thought than "white knighting", aka whenever a guy has any problem with the way women are treated. What other gamergate terms apply to me? Am I virtue signalling as well?
Look everybody, RyanGosling's never talked to women with incest or piss kinks. Lol.