chat

8180 readers

131 users here now

Chat is a text only community for casual conversation, please keep shitposting to the absolute minimum. This is intended to be a separate space from c/chapotraphouse or the daily megathread. Chat does this by being a long-form community where topics will remain from day to day unlike the megathread, and it is distinct from c/chapotraphouse in that we ask you to engage in this community in a genuine way. Please keep shitposting, bits, and irony to a minimum.

As with all communities posts need to abide by the code of conduct, additionally moderators will remove any posts or comments deemed to be inappropriate.

Thank you and happy chatting!

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

EmmaGoldman@hexbear.net

Quimby@hexbear.net

ZoomeristLeninist@hexbear.net

SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net

InsidiousTrackers@hexbear.net

Chat, is it creepy to have a totally unjustified crush (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 month ago by lil_tank@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

102 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I'm not sure I should start this conversation and I've been rewriting this a lot lol. But I could use some relating and opinions from fellow internet leftists

Ok so, to keep it really simple: I happened to share a meal with somebody I really liked. I have interacted casually (no flirting) for about a dozen minutes total and we exchanged contact because of shared-interests (not dating)

Now my brain is fried

I'm thinking about her way too much and it gives be bad vibes, she probably has no idea and I can't imagine the sheer horror of realising that someone is thinking this much about you after so little interaction.

I want to be a well-behaved straight (kinda bi but that's beyond the point) guy, I'm trying to be an ally to the feminist cause, so, failing this spectacularly at behaving normally in relation to women disgust me. I know I can't remove the patriarchy from my body but I damn wish I could.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 2 points 1 month ago

Man, hopefully it isn't creepy. I always have so many unjustified crushes at a time.

If I think someone is pretty or if they are nice to me, boom, crush. Other reasons as well, of course, but those seem more justified and being pretty or nice are the quickest ways for me to unjustifiably crush on a stranger.

I don't always do anything about it but I think it's natural to be attracted to people?

Maybe spend more time with her before deciding to ask her out though. You may learn something about her you don't like that snaps you out of it. I also get over crushes just as quickly as I get them, maybe because it doesn't actually mean anything but I don't know. And if you want to test the waters just give her an appropriate compliment next time you're hanging out and see how she reacts, like "You look really pretty today" or "I really like your [hair/nails/makeup/etc.]". I genuinely like when women do their nails so I like to compliment them on it because, well, I genuinely like their nails, even if I'm not trying to hook up or date. It pretty much always makes girls light up and blush. But if you do this and she seems uncomfortable by it then you have a good indication not to push further. Just be honest about what you're complimenting and, for the love of God, don't make your delivery of the compliment creepy.