Greentext

Female specimen bleeds once a month and is plagued by hormonal fuckery that makes life unbearable at times. Emotional regulation: hahaha fuck you. Physical discomfort: yessir. Terrible pain from cramps, hormonal migraines and other such hormone related pains: amazing. Acne, oily hair, skin, smelly sweat and bloatedness when hormones go brrrrr: cool.

Vag-hole too small to squeeze out baby head and will often rip open. If unlucky, female specimen will bleed to death after giving birth, leaving baby without protection and food source. Female specimen only has a very small window to procreate and is most fertile when her brain is the least developed post puberty. When her brain is finally catching up in maturity, her body is starting to regress in fertility and getting pregnant is now a risk to her and the baby. Is somehow blamed and often punished for her biology literally fucking with her from the age of 9 to menopause.

I would fucking love if my biggest problem was that my reproductive organs were dangling between my legs and got a bit hot once in awhile.

>developes precise eyes
>doesn't know where to put the blood vessels
>"fuck it, we'll put them in front of the receptors"
>blood vessels always visible
>"we'll fix it in post"
>actually works out
>MFW they have to add a blind spot for vessel/nerve management

We spec'd for stamina, which turned out to be a hard counter to the current meta. We also have a flexible diet, fine motor control, excellent heat regulation, intricate vocalizations, and arguably best-in-class intelligence (although neanderthals did have larger brains, and other apes have better working memory).

But we are suffering from our success really. We were able to dominate even with an unoptimized build. So we have things like an appendix and other vestigial structures. Our spines are serviceable for bipedalism but are prone to developing issues and stress points. And our teeth don't last nearly as long as much of the rest of our body without frequent external maintenance. And our young take a very long time to develop, to the point the actual birth happens basically as late as possible without being a guaranteed death sentence for the mother rather than when the child is ready for the world. Also, humans have a tremendously high ratio of penis to total body mass among primates, making you wonder what kind of freak was behind our character creation.

Because these are good questions, I'll answer some;

Physically weak

Humans are incredible long distance runners. We did a lot of hunting by "Chase it until it collapses"

9 months/15 years

Our brains take a loooooong time to mature, but it's worth it. We can plan ahead without relying on survival instincts, and we keep making amazing discoveries like fire and clothes

Flexing on those other loser species with my opposable thumbs and ability throw stones

Once you see that evolution is like the laziest worker ever that wants to do nothing all day but needs the money, and natural selection as the boss that doesn't give a shit and just gives him tasks and only cares if they are done. You will understand why things are the way they are.

"Why is the mop so moldy and disgusting?" Well because natural selection told evolution to mop the floors every day but never said to clean the mop, and the cleaning products are good enough to clean even when the mop is moldy, so there is no need to care about the moldiness of the mop.

What a great argument against intelligent design and a resounding endorsement of Evolutionary Theory.

Because it doesn't select smarts, but adaptations, people tend to forget that for nature consciousness or smarts are just one more trait

Omits that critical oxygen intake system overlaps with food intake system that can clog causing death. No redundancy on oxygen intake.

Lots of evidence for not-so-intelligent design.

'What a piece of work is a man! How Noble in reason! How infinite in faculty! In form and moving how express and admirable! In Action, how like an Angel, in apprehension, how like a God! The beauty of the world, the paragon of animals—and yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?'

Amon is under the impression that humans are designed, so they're not in the smarter half of humanity

Doesn't have to be good, just has to be good enough

There's a lot of good, but the devs def screwed up with the whole shared breathing / eating tubing. But at least the playing ground is partially even, with other species also at risk of randomly dying from the simple act of food intake.

Technology my dudes 🤙 if you remove our understanding of electricity and fire we go back to the stone age in less than a year.

Tools.

Humans are great. We're also shit about some things. We're working on it. It remains to be seen whether we'll get our stuff together before we wreck the planet thoroughly enough that it can't support us in this current paradise mode, but it's not because we are incapable. Our failures are failures of spirit, self-government and self-control, and good values, not failures of "fitness" or that this layout hasn't been successful at getting us this far.