Ask Lemmy

I was at a wedding tonight and everyone on the dance floor seemed to know what to do with their hands while dancing. I just can't seem to figure it out.

Executive function.

Legs. I'm a double amputee, and I miss them.

a functioning democracy

I wish I didn't have this giant penis.

I'd settle for a non-shy bladder (a social bladder? An extroverted bladder?)

A loving family

A brain that can produce a stable level of serotonin and not go haywire all because the seasons changed.

That and being neurotypical, my life would be much easier if I didn't have ADHD

No allergies. Im allergic to dairy, eggs and most nuts. I'm not lactose intolerant, which I wish I had, because then I could be in the bathroom for a few hours instead of a hospital for a few days. So many things have milk in them, and the few things that don't put eggs in them too. I can't eat out.

A properly functioning neocortex.

The thing that gets people to get out of the house and do things with other people.

Not like a vehicle, or transportation but the other thing

Hair

An inner voice. My wife and son both talk about options and choices like they've discussed things with another person.

I have to go with plan A. There is no second thought.

Smooth joints, by the time I was 14 I already had clicky joints and now if I stand or sit in the wrong way I need to click them back in

A functional pancreas. Worked perfectly fine for 27 years, then my body just decided it was evil. Super neat.

The ability to snap my fingers. I can barely make a sound when doing it.

Being able to eat gluten. So many things have wheat and thus gluten. Soy sauce? Check. Dumpling wrappers basically everywhere in Japan? Check (more flexible and easier to work that pure rice flour). Tons of sauces? Check. Salad dressings? Check (sometimes via soy sauce in Japan).

An interest in dogs. I really dislike them as far as having to live with one which makes dating literally impossible. Using dating sites over the years I've seen probably 80%+ profiles mention loving dogs, needing dogs, stealing your dog, owning all the dogs, some profiles even start with "blah blah dog."

I hate that there's such an obsession with dogs and travel... :(

The desire to have sex? Sure would make relationships easier.

Two things, I have horrible vision, wear -9 glasses. And I am autistic and have a very difficult time navigating many social interactions, I would love to not have to deal with either of these.

A big fluffy tail.

A body that isn't rapidly degrading before I'm even 30.

I had a couple more grocery store stops to make tonight but decided to go home instead because my body hurts and i wanted to stop moving for a while.

Granted, I am fat and sedentary

Functional parents.

Mine are 80, and due to a lifetime of terrible decisions and this shitty country, are driving for DoorDash, in the car I "loaned" to them a year ago.

I love them, but it'll be nice when the funeral comes, because at least it'll be the last time they use me as an ATM.

Regular fucking eyesight

I'm not even asking for 20/20, I'm asking for eyesight that can be fixed by LASIK