Ask Lemmy

1. Open up new area for increased storage.

2. Bear.

Girl did dabs for first time on break with gf she was trying to impress. Came back and slapped the manager and got taken away by ems. Showed up next week to no repercussions.

Retirement home kitchen server. This is who feeds your grandma.

I won't say this is the craziest thing that ever happened, just the first thing I thought of. I once had a short-term contract job at a place that didn't have a sink in the office so to make coffee you had to get water from a drinking fountain in the hallway and dump it out/wash it in a bathroom sink--which was already gross enough. Also, whoever took the last cup was supposed to make the next pot--but the boss would never make a new pot, just wait until someone else did.

One day after I'd been there a couple months, one of the employees went around telling everyone "Stop drinking the coffee unless you want to drink 's backwash!" She'd seen the boss walk up and grab the coffee pot, dump his leftover cold coffee out of his coffee cup into the pot, pour himself a new cup and put the pot back. He was too lazy to go dump his cup out in the sink or fountain.

And that was the end of making coffee in that office. People would buy it elsewhere or bring a thermos.

Oh! And another thing that happened when I worked there was someone killed themselves by jumping off the roof. Funny how I remembered the coffee thing first.

Massage Therapist here had a client come in with a live tick on his back that my coworker removed successfully. And then carried on with his massage

In orientation i was the demo for using the wheelchair safety straps and the guy giving the demo grabbed my dong in front of like 50 people

I used to do dispatching for night-shift security for a large computer-related company in a western state in the U.S. (sorry for vagueness).

One foggy night/early morning as we were nearing the end of our shift, one of the patrol guys calls in from his vehicle and says he found a dead cow on one of the roads that ran adjacent to company property. Our building was surrounded by fields that sometimes had cattle on them, so we figured one must have gotten loose somehow and got hit by a car, probably because it was so foggy and hard to see. The officer was on his way back to dispatch anyway, but 3 minutes later, as he's on his way back and on another road (the company site was several acres), he calls in again to say there are MANY LIVE cattle all over the road and running into one of the parking lots in front of the main building. Turns out they all busted a fence and escaped, and were now freely running around the campus. We have no idea who they belong to, so we call the head of security (who was on his way in as by now it was like 6am), then call the cops to see if they can tell us who owns the land the cattle escaped from.

Meanwhile, other people who work in the building are arriving for the day, and they are calling in to dispatch saying they cannot leave their cars because they're surrounded by cattle. The herd (we later learned it was about 100 head) split into several groups, and started blocking the entrances to the building, and people were just afraid to get out of their cars with them roaming around. The fog made everything worse because you couldn't see very far across the lot before you were suddenly up against a herd of spooked cattle.

Eventually we got ahold of the owners, and they had to come out to the campus with horses and literally round the cattle up with lassos and herd them back into the fields. The cops came to redirect traffic on the highway to avoid the worksite entirely while our patrol assisted with the Jeeps. It was utterly ridiculous. Thankfully the only casualty was the 1 dead cow.

Went to the bathroom for 3 minutes, came back and my co-worker had been arrested for ~~gooning joggers that morning~~ public masturbation.

EDIT: This guy would park his car, start jerking off, then ask women for directions. That morning someone recognized him, and he freaked out and drove away. He got sober after that and turned things around.

The company I used to work at sometimes rented out their conference room to other companies for large conferences.

One day some people rent the room, and start bringing in some suitcases. Thinking they might have some involved presentation, nobody asked questions. A few more people came and went, until suddenly the police raids the place.

Turns out those people robbed a museum a few weeks earlier and tried to sell the stolen historical art pieces in that conference room.