this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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it's okay

i'm a thug

๐Ÿ˜ข

(her rejection wasn't even an explicit no... it was really just a non-answer, like she totally ignored it and responded by bringing up a totally different topic, made it even worse but once again i'm a thug

i'll get through it

hugs and kisses all appreciated)

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[โ€“] mendiCAN@hexbear.net 3 points 1 day ago

Fuuuuuuck i wanted this for you. Sorry it didn't happen but hella props to shooting your shot when the feels were so big.

Anyway

[โ€“] TheSpectreOfGay@hexbear.net 21 points 2 days ago (3 children)

meow-hug

her rejection wasn't even an explicit no...

i hate when people do this

[โ€“] baaaaaaaaaaah@hexbear.net 13 points 2 days ago

It's definitely not fun but my mindset is that I'm the one who's put them in an uncomfortable position against their will so it's not really fair to expect a perfect answer.

[โ€“] Angel@hexbear.net 14 points 2 days ago (2 children)

same but she's so nice and neat as a person that I can't even be upset with her over it.

[โ€“] GeneralSwitch2Boycott@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

No, you need to debate them with facts and logic as to why they should love you.

[โ€“] Angel@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago

Funny thing is that I've been saying "My rizz is like Ben Shapiro's debating skills. It can come off as strong and impressive against easy targets, but when dealing with someone serious and far more impactful, it reveals itself as a fraud."

fair, i've only had really non-confrontational people do this to me so i couldn't be too upset

i get why they do it but i still hate it lmao

Yeah, or any sort of indirect - non-confrontational communication. As I've gotten more experience I've learned to take it as a red flag in and of itself, though. I need someone who has the strength and decency to do direct communication. I know why people won't -- trauma, fear -- but having been in failed relationships with people who wouldn't do real-talk or direct communication no matter how safe I tried to make them feel, and seeing how that put unfair burdens on me and sabotaged those relationships, now I just won't fuck with anyone who can't be direct and upfront.

Still awful though especially because this sort of indirect communication is often the result of systemic sexism and gendered pressures and violence.

[โ€“] Hestia@hexbear.net 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[โ€“] Angel@hexbear.net 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[โ€“] Hestia@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

If they gave a non-answer, it sounds like they don't know what they want and aren't ready for a relationship. So just do what you can to be the friend she deserves.

You made your move, now the ball's in her court. Don't stress yourself out and just enjoy your friendship. catgirl-heart

meow-hug heart-sickle kitty-cri

Sorry. At least now that band-aid is ripped off and hopefully you can heal and move on from it. Better to know than to prolong the uncertainty.

[โ€“] boiledfrog@hexbear.net 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[โ€“] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[โ€“] AshenWolf@hexbear.net 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[โ€“] Angel@hexbear.net 4 points 2 days ago

tyyy ๐Ÿฅบ

[โ€“] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Sorry to hear that comrade

[โ€“] Angel@hexbear.net 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[โ€“] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

But you still deserve a hug

[โ€“] Angel@hexbear.net 6 points 2 days ago

hugs for thugs are always welcome

soviet-playful