207
Smalltalk (hexbear.net)
submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by Judge_Jury@hexbear.net to c/memes@hexbear.net

Seriously what is up with whining about people bringing their kids shopping. I get that they hate poor people I just would expect them to have more than one thing to talk about

Edit: Even though I enjoy conflict, I guess I'll add some context here anyway. The usual line I hear as smalltalk is "You don't have to bring the whole family shopping," which if you don't shut it down immediately, will be followed up with some of the most racist and/or classist statements you can imagine, typically involving birth rates

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Kids don’t belong in public. They’re meant to be stored at home along with all your other property. You exist at home. You exist at work while your kids are in school. All other places require money which kids don’t have because they’re not people yet. This is how society works and therefore how society should be. It doesn’t exist within a broader context so please don’t check.

[-] Judge_Jury@hexbear.net 25 points 11 months ago

grillman It's called a nuclear family because I WILL GO NUCLEAR if its dominance is challenged

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[-] SaniFlush@hexbear.net 45 points 11 months ago

A grocery store is a miserable place to be a child. It’s full of objects scientifically designed to convince people to pick them up and take them, and the kid is not allowed to take them. Plus they have to sit on the hard steel wire basket seat for like 90 minutes, and are surrounded by obnoxiously loud noises.

Of course, nobody can afford a babysitter and nobody has an extended family, so the kids come with. Even if they are sick. ESPECIALLY if they are sick.

[-] impiri@lemm.ee 42 points 11 months ago

As a father of two, I can confirm that we train our kids specifically to act out in public. It's a lot of fun for everyone involved. I, for one, think it's delightful when my child melts down because the grocery store doesn't have an item that almost certainly exists only in their mind. It's just one of the joys of being a Bad Parent™

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[-] TheDialectic@hexbear.net 42 points 11 months ago

Am I the only one that enjoys seeing kids being feral little shits? Like, hell yeah buddy climb on that statue. Does no one have a sense of wonder anymore?

[-] kristina@hexbear.net 26 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

went out to eat with friends that had kids and they kept apologizing to me for their kid being loud, but like, we were the only ones there and it was kinda hilarious that the kid was freaking out over the crayon breaking even though they could still use it. very entertaining

[-] FumpyAer@hexbear.net 12 points 11 months ago

I enjoy it until the feral child runs into the highways service road. Which happened in front of me last week. Thankfully there were no cars passing at that moment.

[-] privatized_sun@hexbear.net 20 points 11 months ago

"SHUT THE FUCK UP CAR BRAIN" - feral gen alpha

[-] buckykat@hexbear.net 13 points 11 months ago

Children belong in the road cars don't

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[-] kristina@hexbear.net 31 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

unironically.

saw a video of a scenic area in yunnan with tourists walking around and in each town they had basically a daycare place where you could let your kids play with local kids without them running off while you enjoy the town. and its designed in such a way that its trivial to drop your kids off and pick them up, and appeared to be a communal service. its also good because they get to socialize instead of being bored while the parents go do adult shit

[-] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 11 points 11 months ago

China is safe enough that even anti-China westerners let their kids commute to school on busy trains lol. I also saw a video of some night park in the city where it was filled with mostly kids and a couple parents just chatting in the sidelines. People aren’t afraid of someone gunning their kids down and trust each other to protect and watch their community

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[-] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 30 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Modern society hates kids. Whether its their noise, or kids at home (during COVID) disturbed them, to many places deploying high-pitched sound devices to drive away loitering teenagers.

Hell, COVID is a leading cause of death for kids, but fuck-em I wanna eat at Red Robin without a mask grillman

[-] Llituro@hexbear.net 26 points 11 months ago

I am convinced that the particular rampant nature of childism is at least partly because the atomization in our society ensures that people aren't around children at all.

[-] TupamarosShakur@hexbear.net 19 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I think there’s like a ton of things going on when people say they hate noisy kids out in public. I think there are those for whom “noisy” is just shorthand for reckless, inappropriate, obnoxious behavior. Which, like, is annoying, and there are absolutely those parents who don’t teach their kids how to act respectfully in public (and often the kids are just imitating their parents who themselves never learned to act respectfully in public) and let them run wild. Or it’s teenagers who, like, it annoys me but also I did some shithead stuff when I was a teen so I can’t really talk.

But there are also definitely people who legitimately hate children unless they’re silent and only spoke when spoken to, that sort of thing. My aunt is like this, it’s shit.

Also there are some things that really annoy me, like babies crying in public, but just because it annoys me, what am I gonna do, ban babies in public? That’s stupid. I mean we do live in a society so you have to expect some minor annoyances when in public, and also most parents realize how disruptive and annoying that is and are usually pretty embarrassed and try hard to get their baby to calm down, so like, we’re on the same page pretty much. Not a big deal.

[-] Judge_Jury@hexbear.net 14 points 11 months ago

people who legitimately hate children unless they’re silent and only spoke when spoken to

Oof. I've only met one person who openly said that kids should only speak when spoken to, and he was a monster to every member of his household

[-] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 19 points 11 months ago

I was once standing in line at a public library waiting to check out books. Dude at the front of the line was complaining to the librarian that there were kids reading books out loud in the Children's section. The librarian was doing her best not to roll her eyes at him.

Some people need to learn how to deal with mild inconvenience in public.

[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 17 points 11 months ago

To be fair you don't have to be rich to teach your kids how to act while their out in public.

Unless they're baby age, then yeah babies gonna cry sometimes, it happens.

[-] Judge_Jury@hexbear.net 23 points 11 months ago

Noisy isn't necessarily inappropriate behavior in public. People should be less tightassed

[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 21 points 11 months ago

I dunno man, on one hand, I kind of agree with you for the most part, on the other hand, if you're out in public you should be mindful that it's not your house and there are people around that may be dealing with shit you don't know about. People with PTSD and sensory issues gotta shop too.

[-] Judge_Jury@hexbear.net 20 points 11 months ago

They do, but so do parents of kids with behavioral issues and such. I'm not saying "don't teach your kids to be respectful in public," I'm saying that a lack of childcare is the source of the conflict and the amount of "they need to hit that kid" that passes for smalltalk is outrageous, selfish, and whiny

[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 12 points 11 months ago

Oh well in that case I agree lol

[-] Judge_Jury@hexbear.net 16 points 11 months ago

Tbh we might have different calibrations for the word noisy. In this James Dobson-afflicted hell, it just means "making noise" and often includes not actually making noise at all if the kids are brown

[-] YuccaMan@hexbear.net 16 points 11 months ago

I was in a theater once with a woman who brought her toddler into a horror movie, and when the kid predictably started crying, she pulled out her phone and put on baby shark at damn near full volume for them. Some people do need to be less tightaased, but some people also genuinely don't know how to act in public anymore.

[-] Judge_Jury@hexbear.net 9 points 11 months ago

Don't get me wrong, I'd get theater staff involved at that point

It's usually shopping that people talk about - specifically something necessary, boring, and time-sensitive where you're likely to encounter behavior problems in larger families because it's a kid-unfriendly environment where most activities are impossible, and the parent is having to divide their attention between all of the kids and shopping

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[-] usernamesaredifficul@hexbear.net 9 points 11 months ago

she pulled out her phone and put on baby shark at damn near full volume for them

I agree with you but also that woman is objectively hillarious

[-] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 16 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

What the hell is wrong with bringing kids with to the grocery store? Hell here in South Africa some of the shopping carts even have full on baby car seats attached to them, and most of the larger carts/trolleys have a fold out kids seat. It's perfectly normal to bring your kids with. Do people really moan about that?

Are people really so atomised in the USA that seeing kids exist in the real world freaks them out?

[-] 187_Invitation@hexbear.net 17 points 11 months ago

We have those carts too in the US. There are certain people who hate kids and parents so much they lose their shit on anything that helps them at all like universal childcare. The weird child free types.

[-] AssortedBiscuits@hexbear.net 11 points 11 months ago

Are people really so atomised in the USA that seeing kids exist in the real world freaks them out?

Absolutely. Where do you think those antinatalist freaks come from?

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[-] coffeekomrade@lemmy.ml 15 points 11 months ago

Yeah I couldn’t imagine why people wouldn’t like going grocery shopping while someone’s kid is running around, screaming and pulling things off shelves. Must be because they hate poor people.

[-] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 28 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Welcome to the real world lol. Kids are part of it, get used to it. You were once a bratty child too, we all were at one stage. It's part of life.

[-] privatized_sun@hexbear.net 8 points 11 months ago

It's part of life

naturalizing capitalist modes of production...ok liberal

[-] 2Password2Remember@hexbear.net 17 points 11 months ago

what the fuck are you talking about

Death to America

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[-] Judge_Jury@hexbear.net 26 points 11 months ago
[-] coffeekomrade@lemmy.ml 8 points 11 months ago

A grocery store isn’t a playground, no one is entitled to make other people deal with their shitty parenting.

[-] emizeko@hexbear.net 18 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

until you're paying for their childcare so they don't have to bring their kids shut the fuck up

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[-] autismdragon@hexbear.net 13 points 11 months ago

I like seeing kids in at the grocery store because its the only place I get to see kids anymore after my last job working with them was taken from me by an ableist boss so please, bring your kids to the grocery store.

[-] rake_in_lake@hexbear.net 12 points 11 months ago

It is very weird how amerikkka is alienated from children. Most adults don’t interact with or even see children regularly unless they have children or work in child care. It’s really sad how such a fundamental part of existence is so cordoned off both for the children not being able to see and be part of their whole world and for the adults missing out on the sense of community and humanity that comes from dealing with both the good and the bad about children. The system behind this dehumanized structure is obviously capitalism. I’d encourage any comrades to let go of any unnecessary boundaries between adult and child spaces and embrace more humanity.

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[-] JohnBrownNote@hexbear.net 11 points 11 months ago

i mean, i like not having auditory sensitivities triggered by the worst sounds known to man and i absolutely support free childcare

amerikkka

[-] Judge_Jury@hexbear.net 9 points 11 months ago

The childcare part is what gives the game away. Everyone I know with sensory issues that they acknowledge will rightfully complain about stuff triggering it, but they frame it experientially and they're never the ones making this particular complaint

The folks making this complaint in person to me have been, without a single exception, trying to use it as an inroad to talk about birth rates. Those fuckers hate universal childcare

[-] buckykat@hexbear.net 8 points 11 months ago

Anybody complaining about birth rates is no more than five degrees from openly seig heiling.

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[-] TraumaDumpling@hexbear.net 9 points 11 months ago

i know i personally get anxious in crowded public spaces like grocery stores but its weird to blame parents for that, not everyone has childcare etc. they can rely on. obviously we should have more public childcare lol, and even public spaces for children to exist outside of school. its more understandable to me to complain about (poorly behaved or obviously uncomfortable) children in places you expect to spend more time in, like restaurants. recently my roommates went to a somewhat more restaurant for a date and got put in some back room full of some other party's children, and had an awful time. i think its because they are both bi and outwardly present as LGBT.

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this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2023
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