this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2025
399 points (98.3% liked)

Not The Onion

16932 readers
1256 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

The claim appeared in a court filing related to Elon Musk’s ongoing lawsuit against Sam Altman and OpenAI. The Tesla and xAI owner has posted about his laptop numerous times in the past year.

[...] However, Musk has posted pictures or referred to his laptop on X several times in recent months, and public evidence suggests that he owns and appears to use at least one computer. [...]

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Bebopalouie@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Meh, doesn’t use his brain either.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 points 1 hour ago

Does he even possess one?

[–] Buske@lemmy.world 6 points 1 hour ago

Disbar these lawyers. Disgraceful.

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 31 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Well we all knew he wasn't the one playing the path of exile

[–] IndustryStandard@lemmy.world 5 points 2 hours ago

He was using Neuralink and is playing with 1% of his brain capacity at all times. Trust.

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 17 points 4 hours ago

Doesn't use his brain either.

[–] ChonkyOwlbear@lemmy.world 35 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

So are we not doing perjury anymore?

[–] MojoMcJojo@lemmy.world 16 points 3 hours ago

In America, perjury is inversely proportional to your financial value.

[–] Cocodapuf@lemmy.world 31 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

You can't tweet without a computer. It may be a mobile one, but even that is a computer. This is a stupid claim which could only fool an idiot.

So depending on the judge, we'll just see what happens...

[–] Derpenheim@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 hour ago

A particularly fancy drainage pipe is a computer. I think its reasonable to make the distinction that a phone /= computer for the sake of normal definitions.

[–] Nollij@sopuli.xyz 5 points 3 hours ago

Most people draw a distinction between a phone/tablet vs a desktop/laptop. It's not a distinction that can be easily defined, but most people instinctively categorize them as such.

But regardless, the issue at hand has nothing to do with that definition. The discovery process requires them to process any applicable devices that might have info, potentially including all of the above (and more). His team said they already did his phone, but that the laptop in question is not used by him. His opponents say that he has not complied with the requirements of discovery.

The judge will rule on whether that laptop is included in the discovery order.

[–] kokesh@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago
[–] Smoogs@lemmy.world 25 points 7 hours ago

Didnt he have a big thing about getting bigger monitors in the white house so he could game?

[–] justOnePersistentKbinPlease@fedia.io 107 points 9 hours ago (3 children)

He live streamed himself playing path of exile 2 from his private jet.

[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 17 points 6 hours ago

You'd think he'd pay someone better to play

[–] hypeerror@sh.itjust.works 12 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

He sat in front of a screen while his stunt double played.

[–] Bahnd@lemmy.world 8 points 5 hours ago

Then his stunt double sucks at the game too.

[–] Theoriginalthon@lemmy.world 46 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

On an account that he paid someone to grind up

In this stream he kept failing on the tutorial boss, so I dont think it was his competency stand-in.

[–] MummifiedClient5000@feddit.dk 84 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

He doesn't use computers in the same way he doesn't abuse ketamine.

[–] Dashi@lemmy.world 53 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Hold on now! He posted those clean drug tests from his computer the other day. Clearly he would not lie about his drug tests!

[–] Taldan@lemmy.world 11 points 5 hours ago

Psh, no way Musk could afford to fake a drug test. Fake urine costs like $30!

[–] Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 165 points 11 hours ago (6 children)

Doesn't this guy regularly stream from a laptop in a desperate attempt to seem cool?

[–] themoonisacheese@sh.itjust.works 88 points 11 hours ago (3 children)

He has streamed path of exile 2 which is pc-only.

[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 48 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

this argument from his lawyer is probably going to twist the English language beyond obscene

[–] limelight79@lemmy.world 18 points 11 hours ago (5 children)
[–] Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 21 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

Ah, the Jordan Peterson defense. "That depends on your definition of 'have', 'used', 'a', and 'computer'."

[–] Anamnesis@lemmy.world 10 points 10 hours ago

God damnit I read this in his dumb voice

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] NRay7882@lemmy.world 16 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (1 children)

He streamed himself playing a hardcore character that his minions sank hours into and proved he knows nothing about playing the game. So maybe it wasn't his laptop either.

https://youtu.be/FmEe3eUPWq4

[–] Karjalan@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

Not just hours. Like 80 hour weeks to get to that rank.

It also died while he was live streaming nazi support to the AFD in Germany. So he was clearly not playing then

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] TomMasz@lemmy.world 27 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

A liar's lying lawyers lying? Inconceivable!

[–] MNByChoice@midwest.social 12 points 8 hours ago

The lawyers are taking a big risk to their licenses for lying to the court.

[–] Chainweasel@lemmy.world 64 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

That should be pretty easy to disprove with all of his path of exile streams.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 7 hours ago

Which is exactly what the other side pointed out

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 29 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

He’s paying someone e else to do those. Except for the ones where he sucks.

[–] knightmare1147@lemmy.world 29 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

I'd love to see him say under oath that he paid someone to play his game for him.

[–] voxthefox@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 8 hours ago

Hasn't he already admitted to this while not under oath?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] kn0wmad1c@programming.dev 25 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

All Tesla cars have computers inside.

[–] Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world 13 points 8 hours ago

"It's all computer"

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 26 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

They clearly have no idea what a computer is.

[–] Trihilis@ani.social 13 points 9 hours ago

You mean the amount of bribery makes them have "no active memory" of Elon using a computer

[–] ipkpjersi@lemmy.ml 4 points 7 hours ago

I am shocked I tell you, shocked. Well, not that shocked.

[–] Drekaridill@feddit.is 17 points 10 hours ago (1 children)
[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 8 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

This just struck me, this is the key. They can argue that a phone is traditionally thought of as a phone. Even though technically it’s a computer, in common parlance it is called a phone. Then by extension, he wasn’t streaming on a computer, he was streaming on a laptop. So they will argue a computer is desktop.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 5 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

They'll argue that a computer is a woman who performs calculations and since slavery is illegal he doesn't own one.

[–] XTL@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

As opposed to those digital computers that we use and have everywhere.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Those aren't computers! They're PCs! And that doesn't stand for anything.

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 12 points 10 hours ago

Maybe he means like one of those women at NASA.

load more comments
view more: next ›