Comradeship // Freechat

I'm sorry you've been through this comrade, thanks for sharing. I've felt this way before for a short period of time and I did the same, I left the internet for a while before I was okay. I also began seeing a therapist at the time, which helped a bit

Hope you'll get better soon enough, take care comrade and good luck

I hope you feel better soon. And I look forward to seeing you back on Lemmygrad—but only if it's the right thing for you. Look after yourself.

Trzymaj się, ja cie dobrze pamiętam. Dużo postowaliście po kwarantannie genzedong, zawsze wasze posty były przyjemne do czytania ale zdrowie psychiczne to priorytet numero primo. Poczytaj teorii w tym czasie wolnym od postowania, i oby ci ten czas pozwolił na ochłonięcie. Samokrytyka i staranie się być lepszym może też się wam przydać patrząc jak narzekacie na swoje wady. Życzę dobrych wyników.

Sorry to hear that, comrade. We'll miss you till you're back!

Sorry, I’m not well known

You're known to me at least! I've seen your username enough times to remember it.

I’ve been using both Hexbear and Lemmygrad as a dopamine mine. I get into fights now purely for someone to talk to me, to respond, to acknowledge me, to hate me

That explains a lot, I noticed that you had a lot of fights. It's okay I think, we're communists, screaming at each other is part of the standard package.

You seem self aware and that's a good thing, and having a break from the internet is absolutely a good decision given the circumstances. The healing power of touching grass is supreme.

I never met you but I hope you're alright, and that you will overcome all those difficult things in your life

Sorry that you're struggling comrade. Your ability to recognize your shortcomings and to critique them is a sure sign that you are on the right path to making a better you, stay strong and I look forward to seeing more contributions from you. <3 o7

До свидания!

I will miss you

Take all the time you need👍

Take care of yourself, comrade.

Take care

take your time and stay safe!

have a good break Catra

We will miss you!

Best of luck o7

sounds like something reasonable. it's time to go away from the computer

Take care catra, hope you feel better soon

Have a good break, hope you do ok!

The upvote/downvote numbers on platforms like this can be a powerful temptation to vanity, and addictive.

You have the right idea. Go spend time with people who love you.

Good on you for realising the problem and taking the steps to fix it, it'll be rough, but you can do this, you can get better.

Take care of yourself dude. On being unknown and wanting recognition; I notice your name all the time and pretty much know what you're like on here, remember your positions etc, so you're not invisible.

I recognise your name, so you aren't that unknown. Especially because I've been fairly quiet here as well though recently, aside from my comm. Life's just busy and hard, and it takes me about an hour every day to write my post. Instead of spending all my free time online trying to fix the world's problems, I can have a bit of me-time now. It's honestly done wonders for my mental health. I hope it's the same for you.

But I also wanted to mention that I've had my own run-ins with hexbear as well, so I very much empathise. I don't know what you did, but it's so easy to run afoul there for absurd reasons and have a million people insulting you. It's hard to disengage when you see them as comrades.

We are in a somewhat similar position, if you read this comment. It can get a little ranty.

I hold onto some disagreements with grad over men's rights and western feminism, so I no longer talk as much here, purely out of respect for this place, until views align, or I get discussion without the labelling, or some middle ground possibly gets established eventually over time. I expect that, because absurdity on both redpill and bluepill sides is becoming obvious, and is not the gender war its manufactured out to be. This happened even on Lemmy, and hexbear banned my Lemmy account for it. But I try to help grad covertly, and help the political discourse by both online talk and by trying to disseminate leftist facts as peptalk to family and friends, and deradicalise away the "western" love they have. Even managed to grind gears of an old family member yesterday when she said lower class workers and maids are happiest due to using social media and not buying things, by giving her a nice 2 minute lecture on how capitalism creates advertisements, its psychological roots (she is a psychologist lol, me giving her lessons on Freud's theories and Edward Bernays) and how the happiest people are the ones who are healthy and rich in terms of free time, and who do not get their time eaten by these capitalist structures and machines.

I am beginning to hate the internet, and am realising internet people simply do not matter in the long run. The "copium" of internet community can last only so long (internet's Golden Age happened pre-2010, post-Golden Age has ended now), and you need to have a rocksolid offline life of your own with the power of being able to disconnect at your own will at any time. Even better if you champion solitary lifestyle with minimal or no dependence on external friends or relations, and even family, with being able to not go clinically insane.

I have done enough for the privacy community, keep pushing back on the security extremists evangelising FOSS community with Big Tech love, and almost nobody supports me in pushing back against these assholes. It does not matter that I documented 5 years of evidence tirelessly, selflessly and with no fucks given for donations, money or my own life and sanity and sometimes even sleep. Nobody fucking listens to me. No critical support, and I end up being mislabelled purposely (narcissists create lies to smear and gaslight as self-defense cope) by these GrapheneOS loonies as a conspiracy privacy extremist, just for actually ending up advocating proper way to live a r/privatelife. I have tried telling Lemmy admins, they both sided me. I fucking want to unmod myself from Lemmy's privacy and technology communities, because I get no critical backbone support. Fuck this shit. FUCK! I am angry and pissed I literally am the near perfect person on the internet that FOSS community would want as an internet militant that defends the FOSS and privacy principles on the frontlines.

Ugh, sorry I think I made this a thing about me...

But let me just say it concisely, this lack of empathy from all sides, no internet support, a very silent lonely solitude life I cause by holing myself up away from society to want peace and fix myself, only to end up with moments where I fucking hear silence itself (no tinnitus), an absolute survivalist soul and mind literally made up of steel, being a narcissist-detecting truth teller with foresight all my life... I do not even want to speak of the fucking sad life I live. I am just so strong, resilient and potent that I continue to not break, and even "carry the water" for others selflessly. Maybe if I went clinically insane, maybe someone would help me out of pity or I off myself out of fun or spite. I do not even fucking know what has gotten into me because I have never typed shit like this publicly. WTF. Why does my soul just never break to end the cycle altogether? Is there a purpose to all this? Is there a destiny for me that disallows me to, like the Groundhog Day movie?

I never tell anyone of the pain I live with, I tell no one and keep it to myself like the most naturally Stoic gigachad you could find. And its not like I am ugly. I have been told by both offline friends and online friends and acquaintances that I am wasting my potential by not getting a girlfriend I easily could, being really good looking, both face and physique, the cleanest and most brutally honest motherfucking soul everyone around them knows, being the helper and whatever else. Maybe I was too nice in life, but I am not sure if I even became a doormat. I carry. I carry, I lead, I just fucking carry for everyone with a back that never breaks. I am a fucking donkey. The biggest idiot to embrace this planet.

Sorry to whoever reads this fucking bullshit I wrote for no reason. I just never break on the inside, and end up vomiting like this.

You sound toxic.