2533
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] teft@startrek.website 437 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Yeah, pigs don't like to be corrected. Or made to look like they don't know what they're doing.

[-] tquid@kbin.social 265 points 11 months ago

And they absolutely hate ever doing anything about bicycle theft in particular.

[-] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 39 points 11 months ago

I have heard that very often. I wonder if bikes are harder to track down than other property for some reason.

[-] Zipitydew@sh.itjust.works 124 points 11 months ago

They only care about property loss when it involves rich people.

[-] SlikPikker@lemmy.ca 47 points 11 months ago

Which proves that cops really DO actually do their jobs.

Because protecting the property of the rich is the exact core purpose of policing.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] pimento64@sopuli.xyz 68 points 11 months ago

Given the number of times I've seen cops on police forums and r/protectandserve use terms like "bikefags", I think it's just the typical cop disgust of anything they perceive to be weak or effeminate.

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 37 points 11 months ago

As a gay cyclist I know I’m doing something right by pissing off cops without doing anything wrong

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Localhorst86@feddit.de 37 points 11 months ago

smaller, therefore easier to hide. Not registered with a central authority like, for example, cars.

[-] Zron@lemmy.world 40 points 11 months ago

There’s plenty of cases where they don’t look for cars either.

Or the cops themselves just straight up steal the car themselves.

My wife’s car was ordered to be towed by, according to the impound lot, the police.

Neat thing was that there was no ticket with the car, no police station within 3 miles had a record of a ticket for her or the car, and the area she had parked had no signs that suggested it was illegal to park where she did, nor does the city have any ordinance about overnight parking.

Best we can figure, is a cop or the tow company that works with the city, just decided to tow a car for funsies and the 500 bucks it took to get it out of impound.

The police and every organization associated with them are corrupt to the core.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
[-] Sheeple@lemmy.world 99 points 11 months ago

Fun fact. Cops on average have lower IQ and often fail literacy tests. Furthermore it appears that critical thinking is discouraged in the job, with candidates being selected who lack critical thinking abilities over those that have them.

[-] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 50 points 11 months ago

We need to have a chat about your definition of "fun".

load more comments (11 replies)
[-] xantoxis@lemmy.world 236 points 11 months ago

This argument did not go well

You can't convince people to do their job with logic when they just don't want to do their job. After minorities, the thing cops hate most is doing their job.

[-] SPRUNT@lemmy.world 97 points 11 months ago

WRONG! After minorities, it's poor people. Then doing their job. :P

load more comments (10 replies)
[-] Pazuzu@midwest.social 228 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I thought this had to be hyperbole, so I did the math myself. I'm assuming human history is 200,000 years as google says, and we want to narrow this down to the second the bike disappeared. also that the bike instantly vanished so there's no partially existing bike.

each operation divides the time left in half, so to get from 200k years (6.311×10^12 seconds) to 1 would take ~42.58 divisions, call it 43. even if we take a minute on average to seek and decide whether the bike is there or not it would still be less than an hour of manual sorting

hell, at 60fps it would only take another 6 divisions to narrow it down to a single frame, still under an hour

edit: to use the entire hour we'd need a couple more universes worth of video time to sort through, 36.5 billion years worth to be exact. or a measly 609 million years if we need to find that single frame at 60fps

[-] rckclmbr@lemm.ee 69 points 11 months ago

I regularly bisect commits in the range of 200k (on the low end) for finding causes of bugs. It takes me minutes. Pretty crazy

[-] Moneo@lemmy.world 37 points 11 months ago

Lemmy learns exponential math.

Mostly joking, thanks for doing the math.

load more comments (14 replies)
[-] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 215 points 11 months ago

This didn't go down well.

IT consulting pro-tip: Customers would rather pay for your time and expertise, than be made to feel stupid that they didn't think of something so simple themselves.

[-] mwknight@lemmy.world 110 points 11 months ago

After working in desktop support for a year after college, I realized that people just wanted their problem solved and to not feel frustrated. That realization made my job immensely easier because I pivoted from copying a file in 30 seconds and walking away to talking to them a little bit and letting them feel good after we were done. My ticket closing speed slowed down a little but people felt better and I consistently got positive feedback.

[-] Riven@lemmy.dbzer0.com 50 points 11 months ago

Dude same here. I usually say stuff along the lines of 'yea it took me forever the first time to figure it out' or 'it's a common issue that a lot of people have, I'll get it sorted in a sec for you no problem'. Make it seem like they're not stupid, regardless of the truth and then fix it, keeps em happy and more willing to cooperate with you as well.

I also talk through what I'm doing and if they show interest I'll teach them so they can fix it in the future, 'ah I've seen this before, took me like a hour to figure it out on my computer, for me it was a chrome update that broke how downloaded files open. Here let me right click the file, and go to open with, we hit Adobe pdf and check the always open with this program button, that should do it let's test it out. OK seems like its good to go. Let me know if you have any more issues'. If they don't show interest then it's no problem.

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] BakedGoods@sh.itjust.works 44 points 11 months ago

When I started in support 15 years ago my boss said: "First you solve the person, then you solve the problem".

He was a good dude.

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Zehzin@lemmy.world 151 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

This method will take forever to find the exact moment, said Officer Zeno.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] frezik@midwest.social 136 points 11 months ago

I'm a little surprised the police didn't already know about that method. Seems like they'd encounter enough CCTV footage that'd it'd be standard training.

I once again overestimate the training levels of the police.

[-] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 80 points 11 months ago

They probably do know. They just aren't meant for protecting your personal property

[-] tiramichu@lemm.ee 66 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Right.

What they really want to say is "We aren't interested in investigating your personal theft. Things get stolen all the time and we really can't be bothered. You are not important to us."

But they can't say that, so they instead throw out some excuse that puts the onus back on the other person.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[-] SameOldInternet@lemmy.world 134 points 11 months ago

This post just shows that the police rarely if ever review any video as this method would've been learned as a result of repeatedly reviewing video.

[-] charonn0@startrek.website 124 points 11 months ago

Part of my job is to review security footage for reported incidents.

If there is a long-lasting visual cue that the event has or has not happened yet (e.g. a window is either broken or not), then a binary search is very useful.

If the event lasts only a moment and leaves no visual cue (e.g. an assault), then binary search is practically useless.

load more comments (140 replies)
[-] TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone 120 points 11 months ago

Police try to understand anything challenge (100% impossible) (gone sexual) (gone violent)

load more comments (5 replies)
[-] DarkThoughts@kbin.social 103 points 11 months ago

That's how I look for broken mods too. Move half of them into a temp folder, launch the game. If it works, put half of the sorted out ones back. if it doesn't work, remove another half and try again.

[-] Weirdfish@lemmy.world 53 points 11 months ago

This is all fine and good till it's a conflict between two specific mods. Damn you FO4 on PS4, why you gotta be like that?

load more comments (9 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[-] Localhorst86@feddit.de 76 points 11 months ago

"Exactly my point. We will not be investing an hour looking at the footage to pinpoint the time of theft, now get out!"

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] nullPointer@programming.dev 66 points 11 months ago

just tell them there is a black man at the moment of theft, they will get on it lickety split!

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] Alph4d0g@discuss.tchncs.de 64 points 11 months ago

I'm sure it didn't go well. If it was somehow framed in a sycophantic way where the police were led to believe it was their idea, I'm sure it would have gone better. Wait that might not be too difficult to do.

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] T1000@lemm.ee 63 points 11 months ago

Sounds about right. Cops have low iqs

load more comments (7 replies)
[-] Mubelotix@jlai.lu 61 points 11 months ago

It would have taken 5 minutes at most

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 60 points 11 months ago

Their method actually does make sense, you just have to remember they aren't cops to solve (boring) crimes like petty theft. Why get it done as efficiently as possible when you can milk it for hours of overtime? 12 hours of footage means 6+ hours of overtime even watching it at x2 speed, and it's the kind of thing you can basically have going on in the background. Cops being willfully ignorant for their own benefit makes sense to me

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] rekabis@lemmy.ca 54 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

“This argument didn’t go down well.”

🤣🤣🤣 LMAO

What an awesome punchline, should have been on its own line for more impact.

[-] lemming741@lemmy.world 48 points 11 months ago
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Kalkaline@leminal.space 47 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

God damn, whoever came up with that is clever. I would have never come up with that on my own.

[-] acceptable_pumpkin@lemmy.world 54 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Some security camera systems have this built in. They show snapshots of various times where you choose the total period, say 24 hours. Then you glance through the snapshots that are all displayed at once on the screen and click on the last one where your bike was still there. That will then “zoom in” the timeline and show another set of snapshots, though this time within a smaller total time window. Keep clicking on the last panel with the bike, and it will soon show you the clip of the bike being stolen.

Really helpful to find out when something changed.

load more comments (8 replies)
[-] fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 38 points 11 months ago

waves magic wand computer science!

[-] jmcs@discuss.tchncs.de 38 points 11 months ago

What if you had to guess a number between 0 and 100 and the other person (or an application) only told you if the number is bigger or smaller? That's the form that's usually presented to CS students and most people end up figuring it out on their own. Then the trick is knowing how to generalize it.

load more comments (6 replies)
[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 45 points 11 months ago

Jesus fucking Christ, I know police are dumb, in fact if your IQ is too high you can actually be legally barred from employment as a police officer in the United States of america. Look it up. But fuck incompetence of these Jokers continue to tickle my asshole in a negative way

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 44 points 11 months ago

Oh yea this is how I managed to convince our building management company to identify bicycle thieves in our communal garage.

[-] groucho@lemmy.sdf.org 44 points 11 months ago

The final project in my instrumentation class was to tune a PID controller for a hot/cold mixing valve. I (CS/ENG) was paired up with an engineering student and a lot of it was throwing parameters in, seeing if weird shit happened, and then turning down or up based on the result. I had a programming final and something else I was supposed to be studying for, so I just started doing a binary search with the knobs. We got the thing tuned relatively fast and my partner acted like I was a wizard.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] CurlyMoustache@lemmy.world 39 points 11 months ago

This is how I look for the best bits in porn

load more comments (7 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2023
2533 points (99.6% liked)

Programmer Humor

19463 readers
153 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS