this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] andrew@lemmy.stuart.fun 64 points 2 years ago (2 children)

From now until then you're invincible.

[–] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 22 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I've been saving an old toaster to try in the tub just for an occasion like this!

[–] tryitout@infosec.pub 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You could make so much money playing Russian roulette!

[–] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Now I'm starting to wonder if being in a coma for twenty years from a toaster/gun shot would still qualify as alive.

Dammit

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The 1950s sci-fi pulp author Fredric Brown wrote one of his (then) famous short-short stories about a man who came up with the serum for immortality and took it, but he had a cold at the time, and the germs also developed immortality and reproduced so much that his symptoms got worse and worse and eventually put him into a coma. After a while, his colleagues realized he'd never get out of the coma, so they just buried him.

[–] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 13 points 2 years ago

That's horrible. Thank you

[–] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

And this is why we have GFCIs, folks

[–] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago

Because there's immortals walking among us?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)
[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)

No, mine had a different date. Must just be a bug.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

What is this "wrapped" thing everybody but me knows about?

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Spotify gives you an overview of your listening activity every year with different stats, like top artists, top songs, which city your listening tastes match, etc.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (2 children)

And Spotify tells people when they're going to die?

[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago

Yes but it is occasionally off by a second or two, what with free will and all.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 9 points 2 years ago

That's the joke part.

[–] happilybitchycowboy@lemmy.world 21 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Not gonna make it that long. Nice try.

[–] Sanyanov@lemmy.world 16 points 2 years ago (2 children)

November 4, 2097...I'm gonna have a long life, it seems!

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[–] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Hah, now there is nothing candlejack ca

[–] Thaumiel@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I don't get it. Who's Candleja

[–] Decoy321@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

My favorite thing about this bit is that, after he gets you, he takes the time to submit the comment you were trying to write. Candlejack is really courteous like th

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Awww man, I don't wanna do this shit for another 20 years just to die.

Can we make it sooner?

[–] Decoy321@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Be the change you want to see in the world!

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Where's the nearest bridge?

EDIT: for reasons, this is a joke.

[–] jacktherippah@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Mine says "December 5th 2023"

[–] eezeebee@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Weird. Mine says "December 3rd 2023"

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Mine says 1997. Just 1997.

[–] Numberone@startrek.website 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Just doing a wellness check. Did you make it?

[–] cicadagen@ani.social 7 points 2 years ago

I don't think so... RIP eezeebee, they were like a father to us and we were like sons to them.

[–] FleetingTit@feddit.de 3 points 2 years ago

Have a nice last day on earth, buddy.

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[–] walter_wiggles@lemmy.nz 14 points 2 years ago

laughs in climate wars

[–] spacesweedkid27@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Imagine knowing that you'll live this long from now. Would be great

[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (6 children)

20 years ain't as long as you think it is. Especially if you're not even 30

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I sure hope I live past 66...

[–] spacesweedkid27@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm not sure anyone is going to be able to steal my identity based on knowing my approximate age, so I'm not too concerned.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

That's what you think, P. Sherman at 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney, Australia!

[–] PatFussy@lemm.ee 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Ima die on my birthday? Man that sucks

It makes the math easier though

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You can't tell me when I die! Only I get to decide when I die!

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[–] Jon_Servo@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

Gross. I'd hate having to live an extra ~20 years.

[–] ipha@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Too optimistic to be real.

[–] TIMMAY@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

that's so long from now though

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