473
You understand? (lemmy.world)

John Malkovich's voice and spectacular cadence in your head:

  • "It is estimated that Santa's sleigh weighs 353 thousand tons. So, traveling at 650 miles per second would create such enormous friction that Santa and his reindeer would burst into flames. You understand? Like a meteor entering the atmosphere. This is a scientific fact."
top 39 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 40 points 10 months ago

I know this is supposed to be a shitpost, but what does weight/mass have to do with friction tho?? Also no even thaaat fast, so probably no flames but enough friction to tear their skin off.

[-] Stovetop@lemmy.world 23 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

The friction (and resulting heat) I am assuming would come from wind resistance. Think along similar lines to this classic XKCD article.

650 miles per second, as Malkovich said in the skit, translates to about 2.3 million miles per hour, or about 3.8 million kilometers per hour for the more mathematically reasonable among us out there.

A much lighter meteor traveling much slower than that through the atmosphere is enough to generate the heat needed for combustion, so it would probably apply to Santa in this hypothetical scenario, too.

[-] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

650 miles per second

looks like i failed reading comprehension... just skimmed that part and assumed per hour instead of second lol

[-] Jumuta@sh.itjust.works 4 points 10 months ago

650 mi/s is 1040,000m/s which is mach 3032. the heating at that point would be mainly from the superheated plasma, not wind resistance

[-] the_tab_key@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

Air "friction" has no dependence on mass though. An airplane will effectively have the same air resistance fully loaded as compared to if empty. The surface area/geometry doesn't change. Same would apply to Santa's sled.

[-] Jesse@lemmy.ca 2 points 10 months ago

And they'd be starting and stopping all over the place, so the kind of acceleration needed to reach that speed would kill any known organic being via g forces before they'd even suffer from the fire. But he's one of the fae, so data on them is lacking I guess.

[-] dalekcaan@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago

Small nitpick, technically at those speeds the majority of the heat comes from air compressing in front of the object, not the air friction

[-] dQw4w9WgXcQ@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

The wind resistance shouldn't be dependant on the mass. Shape of the sleigh would be the real factor.

But another thing to consider is that the gigantic mass and heat capacity. Given that the sleigh has a good heat distribution, it would take a lot of air resistance to actually make the sleigh combust. I don't have a decent guess for the average heat capacity, so I don't actually know if it's significant enough, but the calculation is more complex than just looking at the speed.

[-] ch00f@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago

The heat doesn't come from friction. It comes from compression of the gas in front of the object.

[-] BurnedOliveTree@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

I would assume to move such a mass at such a speed would mean an enormous force, which together with air not wanting to move would create such a friction

[-] Ephera@lemmy.ml 2 points 10 months ago

I'm guessing, this is a Santa that doesn't magically fly through the air, but actually sleighs on the ground...

[-] ch00f@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago

Also meteors don't burn up due to friction. They burn up due to the heat generated by compressing the atmosphere stuck in front of them.

[-] SlopppyEngineer@lemmy.world 20 points 10 months ago

It's a mistranslation. The original text said Santa works in eleven dimensions. Time and space mean nothing to that guy. That got turned into Santa working with elves. It's understandable as the original eldritch texts drive mere mortals readers insane. Multidimensional documentation is the worst.

[-] dQw4w9WgXcQ@lemm.ee 3 points 10 months ago

I thought we agreed that he was in a quantum state, a superposition of all children's homes, relying on not being observed as it would collapse the quantum state.

[-] lowleveldata@programming.dev 16 points 10 months ago

Therefore Santa and his reindeer must be fireproof! I understand.

[-] smeg@feddit.uk 7 points 10 months ago

The more you learn about Father Christmas the more you realise he's an eldritch creature of phenomenal power. The fact that we can appease an Old God capable of destroying us in an instant with a simple offering of Sherry and a Mince Pie is nothing short of a miracle.

[-] lowleveldata@programming.dev 2 points 10 months ago

The fact that we can appease an Old God capable of destroying us in an instant

Yo bro what are you doing you're gonna start a holy war

[-] MNByChoice@midwest.social 2 points 10 months ago

This is why fires in fireplaces pose no threat.

[-] asuka@sh.itjust.works 0 points 10 months ago

Santa's sled has ablative shielding.

[-] ristoril_zip@lemmy.zip 14 points 10 months ago

Santa & his coterie are quantum so it doesn't matter what you think his velocity is

[-] neptune@dmv.social 2 points 10 months ago

Unless you don't know his position

[-] uid0gid0@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

You can't know his position. If you were to observe Santa then the quantum superposition waveform would collapse and only one house would get presents.

[-] scratchresistor@thelemmy.club 1 points 10 months ago

Saw this a couple of days ago and is my new head canon.

[-] doingthestuff@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago

All of the gifts are in a bag of holding so their weight wouldn't be included. It would be about two tons including the reindeer.

[-] Derby@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

Santa Claus is obviously an absurd myth, as this post and the nau.edu article correctly point out. The only rational explanation is that the Christmas present phenomenon is Odin delivering Yule gifts. Odin and his horse Sleipnir--well-documented as the best of all horses--would not be restricted by the physical laws and friction. Odin's generosity has been misattributed to this portly, cola-guzzling elf for too long and it is time to come to terms with FACTS.

https://brodgar.co.uk/2020/12/14/odin-as-santa-claus-and-other-norse-yule-myths/

[-] xenspidey@lemmy.zip 2 points 10 months ago

Nah, definitely based on Amanita Muscaria and the shamans. Way too many corelations. https://www.themarginalian.org/2022/12/02/mushroom-santa/

[-] RedstoneValley@sh.itjust.works 10 points 10 months ago

If anyone wants to know more about the math, I think this refers to https://www2.nau.edu/lrm22/lessons/scientific_method/santa.html

[-] spudwart@spudwart.com 7 points 10 months ago

Santa’s Sleigh uses Warp Drive technology to form a space-time bubble around the sleigh and the reindeer.

[-] Skkorm@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Santa can see you when you sleep, knows when you're awake, and visits every believer's house at the same time. He's not scientific. Santa is an egregorian God, created from nothing by the belief of his believers. Santa Clause is a vast, Eldridge being, set upon the earth to reward the kind and punish the selfish. Santa is everywhere. Santa is everything.

So be good, for goodness sake.

[-] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

TIL!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egregore

Egregore (also spelled egregor; from French égrégore, from Ancient Greek ἐγρήγορος, egrēgoros 'wakeful') is an esoteric concept representing a non-physical entity that arises from the collective thoughts of a distinct group of people.

[-] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

My kink is John Malkovich stating detailed facts that crush my dreams.

[-] Window_Error_Noises@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

New kink unlocked

[-] capt_wolf@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

And the rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air...

Play ball!

[-] RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

FUCK YOUR SCIENCE, ITS MAGIC

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 1 points 10 months ago

Any sufficiently advanced science would appear like magic. ;)

[-] sagrotan@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

I hear him talking in a bad dialect of a russian crime boss talking about poker, sorry, every time I see him I have to think about this debacle.

[-] Player2@sopuli.xyz 1 points 10 months ago

Funny, but most heat of reentry is caused by generated plasma as opposed to air resistance (though that is also a component). There is an excellent Scott Manley video about this topic

[-] therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 0 points 10 months ago

Yea but who puts my presents under the tree? Checkmate liberal

this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2023
473 points (96.1% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26650 readers
3208 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS