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Aliens want to communicate and they decide to use you and your personality as the base model for all humans. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

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[-] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 45 points 8 months ago

UN: "Boy, they really like using Star Trek memes to convey their thoughts...."

[-] nxdefiant@startrek.website 11 points 8 months ago

All the Me clones: Sokath, his eyes opened.

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[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 4 points 8 months ago

Turns out Star Trek was just a retelling of actual intergalactic life

Aliens: Who the hell told them all this stuff ... I don't look like that? ... My ass isn't that fat ... Is it?

[-] misophist@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

"These beings have documented a perfect understanding of warp core, matter transmission, and matter replication technologies, yet they refuse to actually use any them and are stuck on a single planet fighting wars over limited resources."

[-] harry_balzac@lemmy.world 32 points 8 months ago

Well as someone with ADHD, depression, and anxiety, as well as being on the spectrum, initially we'd be kinda screwed. I have spent a lot of time in therapy and have done a lot to manage it all, as well as developing empathy for myself and others, so not so bad.

However, I choose to be a non-theistic Satanist and an anarchist, so a lot of other people are going to be fucked. Especially those that deserve no empathy due to their hoarding of resources and exploitation of people and the planet.

[-] 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works 8 points 8 months ago

Could you elaborate on the Satanist part? It's the first time I encounter that specific term.

[-] takeda@lemmy.world 15 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I met a member. And he explained to me that they are pretty much atheists but from the point of the law they enjoy religious protections.

Basically if you call yourself atheist, you won't get any religious protections, because you don't have any religion. Everyone knows that FSM is a joke, so that wouldn't fly either. So they created a religion. They chose Satan, to get expected reaction from devoted Christians, they don't believe in Satan though (unlike wackos from the Church of Satan). You can read their 7 tenets, which sound quite reasonable: https://thesatanictemple.com/blogs/the-satanic-temple-tenets/there-are-seven-fundamental-tenets

[-] MightyGalhupo@lemmy.world 9 points 8 months ago

This is actually really reasonable. What are the “religious protections” you speak of?

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[-] Funkytom467@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

I'll gladly take aliens trying to cure me of an ADHD and depression i don't have if they can also cure us of religions and capitalism.

More importantly you going to therapy and improving yourself the way you described it, that in itself is sincerely the best exemple we can show an alien, ever.

[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 4 points 8 months ago

Intergalactic Therapy Industrial Complex rubbing their hands

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[-] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 5 points 8 months ago

Seems i am going to be just fine after all.

Seriously though how did you write something so personal and yet described my life so well.

Like the only difference is that you are a non theist satanist anarchist. While i am an agnostic spiritual anarchist having Jesus (but not god) as an example of a good.

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[-] DharmaCurious@startrek.website 24 points 8 months ago

Well, there'll be a lot less billionaires pretty quickly, from there it's gonna be a lot of references to star trek, doctor who, dead philosophers and general southernisms.

[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 4 points 8 months ago

lol .... aliens arrive in 1960s era London police boxes to try to not alarm us as they make first contact

Aliens first message: ... I say my good man, it's quite a coincidence to find you in this part of the galaxy. I feel pecked by a hundred chickens, fuller than a tick on a big dog and fine as frog hair and not half as slick to greet you on this fair morning under god's blue sky.

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[-] Korne127@lemmy.world 21 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Human population is very empathetic, but very kinky.

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[-] Makeshift@sh.itjust.works 21 points 8 months ago

Humanity is screwed.

They like being alone, don’t like loud noises, will find a reason to leave a situation with more than 3 people in a small area. They don’t have any sexual desire and will be most happy to go through life without ever having intercourse. Probably going to go extinct without outside intervention thanks to that, better intervene to preserve the species.

They want to hibernate when it’s cold outside. Cold = anything below 70f.

They’re herbivores though so at least they don’t destroy their planet by mass farming the cruelest and most inefficient food source possible. Silver lining?

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[-] thorbot@lemmy.world 19 points 8 months ago

Humans only want to masturbate, sleep and play board games. Sounds great

[-] DredUnicorn@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago
[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 18 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

They're just gonna be commenting on Lemmy all day. Threat averted.

[-] DosDude@retrolemmy.com 4 points 8 months ago
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[-] notannpc@lemmy.world 17 points 8 months ago

At one point in my job I was effectively the translator between English speaking Indian software devs, and American project managers. If I can translate technical information into something understandable to a PM, and vague program specs into actionable technical requirements for the devs I think we’d actually be alright with the aliens.

[-] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 16 points 8 months ago

I'm autistic. So they'd be very confused with most people I think

[-] bhamlin@lemmy.world 11 points 8 months ago

I, for one, would welcome our nuwu owoverlords.

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[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 10 points 8 months ago

There's a lot of autistic people in this thread

[-] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 10 points 8 months ago

There's a lot of autistic people on lemmy I think

[-] BigMoe@lemmy.zip 15 points 8 months ago

“Why do these aliens keep making stupid, unfunny jokes”?

[-] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 15 points 8 months ago

I'm literally autistic and I can barely even talk to people anymore, so I imagine it'll be a gigantic disaster.

[-] unreasonabro@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

right but they're psychic so you can actually communicate at a real rate instead of tripping over your meat trumpet like a fucking animal all the time

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[-] bonezey@lemmy.world 13 points 8 months ago

Can't leave the flying saucer without having triple checked it's locked.

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[-] Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago

Intergalactic diplomacy will play out in World of Warcraft.

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[-] MyFairJulia@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago

Humanity shall receive the gift of estrogen!

[-] outer_spec@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 8 months ago

“Hmm, it looks like these humans really like ‘tentacle hentai’… we could use this to our advantage”

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago

Hey, the aliens want to communicate through a sarcastic misanthrope... well, I can't say I'd blame them.

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[-] 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works 7 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Well... it could be worse... you should all thank them they didn't pick my sister.

[-] matmarspace@programming.dev 6 points 8 months ago

I guess we're good. :)

[-] Bizarroland@kbin.social 5 points 8 months ago

Not bad. Couple of you fucks would be ackacked into non-existence but 99.997% of you would be alright.

[-] Pyroglyph@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago

You make it sound like you have a fervent hatred for ~250,000 people.

I'm intrigued...

[-] Voyajer@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

Dude must have a grudge against Samoa or something. That or he wants to distribute some wealth and zap all the billionaires and anyone close to being one.

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[-] harmsy@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago

In one sense? Very, very much. I hope y'all like tentacles. In another sense, the complete opposite of screwed. I hope y'all like free healthcare.

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[-] BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 8 months ago

Let’s just say the overpopulation issue will be thoroughly resolved

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[-] thezeesystem@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

As someone with d.i.d. it all comes down to which personality they take.

[-] Elephant0991@lemmy.bleh.au 4 points 8 months ago

Screwed!

But this is not a very good/logical/reasonable alien to be in contact with. There are so many ...ists with can call this alien. Generalization with sample of one? Pfff... They won't even get here...

[-] Adalast@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

I am pedantic to a fault, capable of simultaneously being the most specific and most vague person you will ever speak with, and have the social skills of a carrot. I am also debilitatingly ADHD, reasonably autistic, and more intelligent than is able to produce an emotionally functional adult.

I will leave it up to you all on if you want me to be the model, but I'd be happy to if it were up to me.

[-] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

I'll try my best.

[-] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

I'd say just barely north of average, but quickly declining.

[-] FMEEE@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 8 months ago

I think u re asking on the wrong platform.

[-] AlijahTheMediocre@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

Human population can't focus, stand still, or remember worth shit for longer than 5 minutes.

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this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023
325 points (95.3% liked)

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