this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2024

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I'll take in thousand dollar bills. (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 months ago by BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world to c/microblogmemes@lemmy.world

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[–] FinishingDutch@lemmy.world 32 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Seriously though, it’s pretty much the best gift you can give if you simply don’t want to pick the wrong thing. Which is much, much more likely to do if the recipient doesn’t outright tell you exactly what they want.

If someone wants to buy me a physical gift, I always give them exact suggestions: buy x, version Y. Shop at this store, pay no more than Z for it. That way it’s pretty much impossible for them to fuck it up. Can’t get it done? Give me cash instead.

If it’s acceptable to give a gift card, it’s acceptable to give money as far as I’m concerned. It’s the universal gift card without the restrictions.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

It's the best thing period, there's no fuckups on the item then. It took my family fucking years to comprehend that holy fuck I'm an adult who can buy their own shit whenever I want. Trying to guess what I might need or want when I buy things when I need or want them, AND telling them "just cash, thanks" and NOT GETTING CASH but stuff I had to return, is fucking awful. It tells the person that you don't listen, that you think you know better than them, and that you are confident that you think you're so correct in your gift choice that the first two can be ignored.

A few years ago, I needed a replacement office/gaming chair. I selected the chair, sent the person the link to Amazon, told them to click the coupon so they'd save, that I researched this chair and it's the best under $200. Xmas rolls by, there's an obvious chair wrapped in the room. Except it wasn't the chair I specified - it was somehow both a more expensive and shittier chair, that was "on sale" and they believe 'more money' means 'more better'. $500+ and the pos barely lasted through the ONE YEAR warranty. I had to buy my own replacement, and the original chair was still serviceable but I didn't have it now so fuck me, now I'm spending my money because you don't listen to me. I almost declined the chair in front of everyone and their gifts, but they threw away the fucking box, like fucks sake how dense can you be.

I ended up buying a fancy, expensive as fuck chair, with a 12y warranty that is supposed to be good for my back. 3x cost but 12x warranty. They have given up and just give me what I ask for now, like fucking finally. That only took ~25 years.

Plus it's kinda awkward for some things. "Hey mom, yeah so I've been looking at some dildos from bad dragon, think you could be a pal and slide an XL David in natural colors with a blended soft/medium firmness under the tree for me? Trying to stretch my ass for my Master. Thanks."

And no, gift cards aren't cash. Gift cards fucking suck unwashed hairy donkey balls. Now I have to use PayPal from my account, add the card, send you the money minus 3% fee on top of any fees you paid to convert cash to an annoying piece of plastic, then login to your account, send the money back to me, then deposit it into my bank account. This could have been a $0 fee check that took 30 seconds but nooooooo you had to go to a store and buy a gift card and pay $4.95 so that I lose $7 on the transaction process. Fuck gift cards. I can't pay my credit card, that I used to buy what I actually want, with fucking gift cards.

Just. Give. Cash.

[–] FinishingDutch@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Thankfully i haven't had any bad experiences like with that chair. Even as kids, we were always very specific with the gifts we wanted. Parents likewise. Mom will straight up just send me 10 items she wants for mother's day or her birthday. That suits me just fine.

Buying things that fit someone else's interest is tricky at best. I have very specific hobbies and interests. Usually, if it's 'cheap enough for you give as a gift', it's certainly cheap enough that I'd have bought it for myself if I wanted or needed it. It's also difficult for people outside of that interest to judge what is a good value or what an item might cost. I.e. to me, a 50 dollar dildo sounds expensive. It's a piece of rubber after all, how much can it cost? Most casual people wouldn't know that a thing like a 250 dollar dildo even exists. So while they think they're doing you a favor by buying something they consider 'expensive', it might not be what you want or need.

Gift cards are just silly. It locks you into a specific store and some cards even expire or are otherwise really inconvenient to use. COMPANIES really love them though - because people just don't always use them or let them expire. That's free money for a store, and a wasted gift...

Ironically, personally I do like to give physical gifts. But I only do it when the person has no gift expectation and only with items that I'm personally familiar with. For example, interns at our company always get a really nice pen when they depart. I like to tailor the specific pen to the intern, based on their writing habits, favorite color, etc. Usually I give people Lamy Safari fountain pens or rollerballs, in their favorite color. It's a way for me to introduce them to a hobby that I like, while also being a meaningful gift. After all, everyone can use a good pen, right? You might not buy one for yourself, but you'll certainly enjoy using it.

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

The only time I ever got a gift card it sat unused til one week before expiry because it just could not be used in any store I thought worthwhile buying from.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Y'all gift wrong.

Please don't ever spend more than $50 on me unless it's an experience-gift that we can share (myself and giver), like concert/theater tickets or admission to some event.

Same is true for my kids. They have tons of toys and we hate your taste in clothes. So we ask for experiences. We've got tickets and giftcards for so many local family attractions. They also all have a little collection going of classic literature with gilded pages...stuff like Jules Verne or Treasure Island. So even if they don't like to read, at least the look nice.

IDK where you are but gift cards have no fees in the US, except for reloadable prepaid credit cards. And a lot of attractions have timed-entry so you can't really gift a ticket, since you don't know when they can go.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I want cash since I can buy whatever I want (dildos, cocaine, whatever) or I can pay off debt, which is huge for my situation. Buying something for me is pointless as if I wanted it and thought it was a decent price, I'd have bought it already myself. But giving me some financial wiggle-room and thereby easing the stress on me is a huge benefit.

And gc come with lots of issues - initial fee for purchase, expiration dates, limited to one store / some stores don't take "universal" visa/mc gc, I can't go to the bank and deposit a gc. It forces me to either work around it (above, additional fees) or purchase something that I otherwise would not. It literally forces people to make poor financial decisions. That's not a gift, that's a burden.

It sounds like you're in a good position financially, and that's great. But not all of us are. If someone gave me a certificate for a Disney vacation or the like, I'd actually beat them. I need help, not belittling. Cash works for those in all situations.

[–] FarFarAway@startrek.website 22 points 5 months ago (1 children)

So, a pointless anecdote:

So a friend attended a funeral in the southern US. They've only ever been to funerals in Hawaii, where everyone typically gives money to help with the costs and whatnot. They ask another attendee if they're supposed to give money here. The other attendee looks horrified. "GOD, NO! What's wrong with you? That is so insulting!"

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago

Not pointless!

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 13 points 5 months ago (2 children)

In the US there are gold colored $1 coins available.

Get a drawstring purse [think Robin Hood / Conan] and fill it with 'gold' coins.

If anyone you know is into fantasy, they will go nuts.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago

They have them in Canada too.

[–] subtext@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Reminds me of a joke I heard where I think Luis CK was talking about how great the time of westerns was as depicted in movies.

Everything only cost one gold coin ever. You need a bed, a meal, a shave, and a drink? Just throw down one money and you’re good.

E: as told (much better than my recollection) https://youtu.be/oPN2BD5RUmQ

Edit edit: it gets into some typical of Luis CK potentially disturbing language… don’t listen past about 1:25 :/

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I guess I have a humiliation fetish.

[–] unreachable@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

huMillions

[–] Bezzelbob@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago

Yes. Thankfully I have a humiliation kink

[–] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It's a coupon that every store accepts.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 months ago

And never expires, I'm looking at you gift cards.

[–] Toes@ani.social 7 points 5 months ago

Fold the cash up like an origami owl.

[–] malean@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

Me and my group of friends collect money for each birthday as a gift, basically we exchange the same 50 bucks all year. I find this tradition stupid.

[–] Dudewitbow@lemmy.zip 3 points 5 months ago

is it insulting, depends on the person. if the person is known to be all about flexibility, then its not really a problem. to some it may be a problem because it shows to them that you didnt think very hard for a gift. E.G if your longterm SO who isnt married with you gave you money as a gift (over getting something youd probably eant/like given they should know you), may rub off in the wrong way.

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

It is the way otherwise %90 of the gifts end up being needless consumerism. That or instating a culture where it is ok to ask a person what would he or she want for a gift.

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

Bitch, you broke. That'll be $3.50.

[–] Syn_Attck@lemmy.today 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I think it's not humiliating, but if you know someone, you should have some idea what they like/their interests are. Getting a small gift that fits them shows that you spent at least a small amount of time and thoughtfulness picking out or making the gift. If you don't know the person, sure, cash/gift card.

Although I think it's becoming less common to have the space or 'the time' (but we could prob all spend 30 mins less each day doing nothing on our phones) so giving physical actual gifts are becoming less common, and also due to the economy the idea of 'mandatory days of gift giving' is a bit off-putting. People love getting personalized gifts from people who create things, but far less people today 'have time' to learn a hobby where they create things in physical space.

Less "Fuck you here is $10" and more "Here is $10 as agreed upon by the social contract unwritten by the masses who came before us, I didn't have any clue what you might like or want and didn't think to ask."

Some people gladly prefer cash/card. I am one of those people. We will make that known well ahead of time.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Someone who doesn't spend a lot of time with me would be better off giving me cash.

Someone like my dad or siblings should know enough about me to give a personal gift. At least my brother knows me well enough to do that. 😮‍💨