this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2024
1078 points (93.9% liked)

Programmer Humor

19551 readers
1314 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] dactylotheca@suppo.fi 197 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Doctor of Computer Science

stringly-typed "100%"

yeah that tracks.

[–] vala@lemmy.world 127 points 4 months ago (8 children)

Calls a static method on the OldMan class instead of the instance of oldMan that is actually dying.

[–] emuspawn@orbiting.observer 63 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

Tonight's story: Every man older than OldMan.getMinimumAge() has been in perfect *unchanging* health for the last few months‽ To find out why, stay tuned! Our experts chime in to help you understand....

[–] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 17 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

If only I'd been born %YEARS% later :'-(

[–] nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 4 months ago

But then they really have no idea and try to convince you it’s from some stupid diet trick fed to them by a sponsor.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] Emotet@slrpnk.net 27 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] dactylotheca@suppo.fi 34 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] WanakaTree@lemm.ee 9 points 4 months ago

Haha I'm saving this image

[–] Fades@lemmy.world 186 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (25 children)

WHY IS THE HEALTH INPUT PARAMETER A GODDAMN STRING?????????????

Why are you passing ‘%’ inside said goddamn string?!?! Not to mention the static reference instead of the actual instance.

Shame on you

[–] jdaxe@infosec.pub 69 points 4 months ago

Also putting sudo in front of what looks like Java code not shell.

[–] cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 36 points 4 months ago (1 children)

OldMan.setHealth("Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--")

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] blind3rdeye@lemm.ee 29 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I guess its just a reminder that getting a PhD is often more about dedication than it is about practical knowledge.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 23 points 4 months ago

Because the meme wasn't made by someone with a doctorate in CS or even a bachelor's.

[–] devfuuu@lemmy.world 19 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Smells like JavaScript.

[–] lud@lemm.ee 18 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It's not his fault the world is made this way.

He just has to follow it or else that man dies.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago (2 children)

They use a look-up table with every value from 0% to 100%

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] FatTony@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Honestly, if someone were to try to safe my life. And I find out he uses a string as a parameter to do so. Just let me die right there.

load more comments (17 replies)
[–] Technus@lemmy.zip 100 points 4 months ago (3 children)
sudo rm /heart/arteries/**/clot
[–] AmbiguousProps@lemmy.today 90 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Very important to not hit enter before clot.

[–] Technus@lemmy.zip 37 points 4 months ago (1 children)

That's why you have backups.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 23 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Technus@lemmy.zip 21 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I feel like if your body follows the Unix filesystem structure, you have a real problem.

[–] BleatingZombie@lemmy.world 19 points 4 months ago (4 children)

Please forgive my ignorance. What does ** do?

[–] gaylord_fartmaster@lemmy.world 23 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Acts as a wildcard for any directories that exist between arteries and clot.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Technus@lemmy.zip 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

It's a glob pattern (edit: tried to find a source that actually showed ** in use).

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 79 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You are not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.

[–] Mercury@lemmy.world 42 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Goddamn, the joke gets worse the more I inspect each panel.

[–] johannesvanderwhales@lemmy.world 16 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Linkerbaan@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The font changes like 3 times 👌

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] oo1@lemmings.world 38 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Can he also fix alzheimer's by hunting down memory leaks.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] sundray@lemmus.org 29 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"Wait! We need to get the user story before we start working on a solution!"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 26 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Did he just give every old man perfect health?!

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] apocalypticat@lemmy.world 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Classy@sh.itjust.works 11 points 4 months ago

sudo pacman -S new-heart

[–] Andrzej@lemmy.myserv.one 18 points 4 months ago

Top-tier endangerment bait lmao

[–] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 15 points 4 months ago (3 children)

See that's the issue, he should have tried stopping the cardiac arrest process instead of just resetting the man to the beginning of it

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago
[–] guemax@lemmy.today 12 points 4 months ago

HeLlOoOoO, wHaT nOw? It'S a Do Or DiE sItUaTiOn, HuRrY!

[–] moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 4 months ago

I wish there was a last panel of the old guy getting revived, I think it would be funny

[–] nyan@lemmy.cafe 9 points 4 months ago

bash: sudo: command not found

After all, we don't know that he has it installed, especially if he's running a really old distro.

load more comments
view more: next ›