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I have been identifying myself as non-binary because sometimes I feel like a dude, sometimes I feel like a women, and sometimes I feel like I'm sliding around the spectrum of both at the same time.

But a lot of the time I feel like I have no gender at all. Which as I understand it, is what people call agender.

Am I right in calling myself non-binary or should I be calling myself agender? Or both?

I feel like I should know these definitions better.

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[–] AcidSmiley@hexbear.net 36 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Labels exist to give you an avenue for self-expression in a world that doesn't want queer people to express their identity, not for liberal "words mean something" dorks. Does it resonate with you? Then use it, a lot of people go by both of these terms. Nonbinary is an umbrella term to begin with, if your idea of gender is something else then "men are from Mars, women are from Venus and these are immutable, clearly seperate, very real things that totally exist" you're fine to wave that nice flag around in my book.

flag-non-binary-pride flag-agender-pride

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 13 points 4 months ago
[–] Outdoor_Catgirl@hexbear.net 21 points 4 months ago

Nonbinary is both a specific identity and an umbrella term. Agender is definitely under the umbrella.

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 19 points 4 months ago

There's a black stripe on the non-binary pride flag for a reason hexbear-non-binary

[–] Angel@hexbear.net 17 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Non-binary is an umbrella term that encompasses genderlessness, and ultimately, just like Comrade @AcidSmiley@hexbear.net said, labels are personal. The worst part of label discourse is when people try to be so prescriptive with labels. Like, as someone who identifies as pansexual, for instance, I abhor it when I see people say things like "Uhh, you're actually pan, not bi" (or vice versa) to a person who is just aiming for personal comfort in their own label. I consider myself genderless in a sense, but I don't call myself agender explicitly too much. There was a period where I was more fond of outwardly professing "agender" as my primary label, but nowadays, I just use the term "non-binary" and leave it at that because I like broader terms for myself typically. Basically, all that matters for me when it comes to labels is that I feel comfortable using that term and I find that term conveys my sense of identity to other people best. If a label checks those two boxes, it will most likely be at the forefront of my identity, so "non-binary" for gender identity and "pansexual" for sexual orientation fills that role best for me.

[–] autism_2@hexbear.net 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You can call yourself whatever you want

Personally I use nonbinary because it's vague like how I feel

And anyways I think of agender being under the umbrella of nonbinary but others may not agree

Some people use agenderfluid or genderflux

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Thanks, thats what I thought. I always doubt my own knowledge.

[–] citrussy_capybara@hexbear.net 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

owls are wise, trust in your knowledge

[–] Moss@hexbear.net 12 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

I'd call myself agender but not necessarily relate to the term "non-binary". Like, I don't mind if people assume I'm non-binary, I guess I am in that I don't really care for the gender binary, but the term I actually feel represented by is agender. As others have said, non-binary is an umbrella term, and also these labels are ultimately arbitrary.

The reason I call myself agender is because gender just isn't something that I think about, ever. I don't consider myself part masc or part fem, or intentionally androgynous or gender non-comforming. Gender is just something that I never consider. I don't look at clothes and think "are they masculine/ feminine/ androgynous enough for me", I just look at clothes and think "that looks sick I want that". Idk maybe I could explain this better later

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I don't look at clothes and think "are they masculine/ feminine/ androgynous enough for me", I just look at clothes and think "that looks sick I want that".

Mood. I'm like that most of the time with clothes too.

[–] Moss@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago

Gender affirming clothes to me are a big cloak and big boots

[–] Angel@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

How you described experiencing gender is very similar to how I do, but my identity is more inverse, in that I call myself non-binary more than I do agender, but I don't really care if people assume that I identify as agender.

[–] Moss@hexbear.net 2 points 4 months ago

That's valid, these labels are arbitrary

[–] egg1918@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago

There's no official pronoun book so go with whatever feels right to you :)

[–] MusicOwl@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)
[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] MusicOwl@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago

Uncritical support for loud hooting gender!

[–] Angel@hexbear.net 5 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I thought that was just their species! Unless, my gender is human.

[–] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago

There's something so all lives matter implied by human being a gender

[–] MusicOwl@hexbear.net 5 points 4 months ago

A good point! thonk

[–] D61@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I feel like I'm sliding around

Gender-glide

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 9 points 4 months ago

In an RPG character creator, sliding the gender bar back and fourth and giggling maniacally

[–] axont@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I'm non-binary and agender! And I prefer she/her/they these days and I also present kinda masculine. I'm a funky little goof.

You're an owl and you're valid as whoever you say you are. You get to say what you are and it's up to the labels to bend around you, not the other way around. It's your identity, you know? owl-wink flag-non-binary-pride

[–] robot_dog_with_gun@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago

could i interest you in agenderfluid?

trans* encompasses non-binary unless your parents were gender hippies and nonbinary encompasses agender unless you're using a non-hegemonic frame of gender. within that, as others have said, label yourself however is useful for your sense of self and what you want to convey about it. It doesn't have to be one label to rule them all either, like how we say we're from a city/state/country/planet depending on the context.

I'm a conscientious objector and have just stopped caring

[–] the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net 2 points 4 months ago

Like iunno I'm in the same boat where I'm ace but i can't even get all the terms straight (wakka wakka) or know exactly which flavor is my go-to.