Short version, I wanna change my names (first and middle two) sometime this year to something more audibly enby. I have a bunch of stuff I think sounds neat, but is that all it needs?

Like it feels fake at some level, or like an affectation. I don't know what names resonate with me or if they're even supposed to. I feel like this is a common experience so maybe I could get some advice?

I do want names that stand out, but also ones that don't make me sound full of myself, but...also need something that resonates with me and I'm so confused and lost

As someone who is AFAB and has naturally high testosterone, yeah it's bringing up some painful feelings.

Fuck these assholes.

I don't really know why, but this evening while being frustrated at a parent for them being extremely difficult as they rapidly age, I got really emotional thinking about the therapy thing where you identify and acknowledge your own irrational counterproductive feelings while thinking of how your upbringing conditioned you into having them, and then doing an imaginary dialogue with your child self and telling them how those negative thoughts and shit aren't really their fault and you love and accept them for who they are and so on and so on

That got me really fucked up for awhile about how a lot of my mental health issues are downstream from that kind of weird unspoken structure of cis/het normative parenting where your lib normie parents might be supportive of LGBTQIA rights in the abstract and are on fairly good terms with their lesbian sister, but it's like they both knew you seemed kinda z e s t y since you were a toddler, and you always felt pressured to "be normal" growing up and how that repressed and fucked you up into your late teens.

I got really emotional imagining what it'd be like growing up in a culture where queerness was completely destigmatized, or having parent(s) who were LGBTQIA and never made you feel like you ever had to repress parts of your identity to just "be normal," and now I'm just feeling shitty imagining better timelines and better versions of myself with way fewer psychological hangups and way more happiness.

Sorry for the sad post blog shit, I just kinda felt like I had to scream into the void somewhere

cross-posted from: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/5183822

yeesh

Cry me a river, Elon

I have been identifying myself as non-binary because sometimes I feel like a dude, sometimes I feel like a women, and sometimes I feel like I'm sliding around the spectrum of both at the same time.

But a lot of the time I feel like I have no gender at all. Which as I understand it, is what people call agender.

Am I right in calling myself non-binary or should I be calling myself agender? Or both?

I feel like I should know these definitions better.

Say someone wanted to fill their bunker with HRT in case all trans healthcare in the US was blocked at some point, what would be the best way, and best resources for figuring out how to do that? These would be emergency backup, so wouldn't need to be a perfect regimen with injectables and progesterone.

From what I've read so far, for estradiol you'd want to store precursors, because those can store indefinitely, unlike vials or even pills. But I don't really know where those come from, or how you go from precursor to something that can be ingested. I would appreciate any resources that could fill that in for me.

I haven't really looked into t-blockers or t at all yet, because that wasn't as relevant to me. But if anyone's picked up any info on that, I'd love to know how it that would be done too, from a community support perspective.

I know our UK siblings are broadly dealing with this already, so I'd appreciate any input you have.

Sorry if there's already a megathread around for this somewhere already. I missed it.

(I'm not really sure what the boundaries of what can be discussed here. But for that reason, I'll just mention that this is research for cozy post-apocalyptic videogame about a trans woman with no access to healthcare because her warlord is pretty shit. It's hyper-indie and not even on itch, and the art is all in pastels, and has the best fishing minigame you'll never play. I definitely want REAL WORLD practical resources though for my research. Realism is key to the ludonarrative experience I want to deliver.)

Apparently when I'm feeling masc I dress like a 70s Vegas drug dealer

So many garish Hawaiian shirts

I know you can get estrogen from horse urine as a feedstock, but there are other methods used today, right? Do they use other animal products? Petroleum? I'm just looking for a basic overview and don't know where else to look.

Long story short I have PCOS apparently. That means high testosterone. Why am I sharing this? I just think it's fucking shitty that I as an AFAB person can get feminizing hormone therapy after as little as a blood test, but if I was a trans woman or man, or if I wanted hormone therapy to affirm my being non-binary, I would most likely have to jump through all sorts of hoops.

Anyway maybe I'm just pissy because going to the doctor always reminds me that most people see me as a just a butch woman. Feeling shitty and dysphoric.

I don't think I did so last time.

Here you go:

Left: Gage Skidmore. Donald Trump [photograph], Flickr, CC BY-SA 2.0 DEED, Right: Mark Burns on the Stew Peters Show.

On Monday, former President Donald Trump announced his endorsement of Pastor Mark Burns for South Carolina's 3rd Congressional District. The pastor has previously exhibited extremist rhetoric towards LGBTQ+ and transgender individuals, calling for the arrest and execution of those he accuses of LGBTQ+ and transgender "indoctrination." Trump's endorsement threatens to swing a crowded Republican primary in Burns' direction. Given the heavily Republican lean of the district, Burns would emerge as the clear favorite to win the congressional seat should he win his primary.

Pastor Mark Burns made headlines in 2022 for calling for the return of the House Un-American Activities Committee to arrest and execute LGBTQ+ and transgender allies and individuals whom he accuses of "grooming." In a video released after his appearance on The Stew Peters Show, Burns stated, "The LGBT, transgender grooming of our children's minds is a national security threat because it is ultimately designed to destabilize the republic we call the United States of America. That's why, whenever I'm elected, I want to start holding people accountable for treason to the Constitution. I'm going to push to reenact HUAC... We need to hold people accountable for treason, start having some public hearings, and begin executing those who are found guilty of treasonous acts against the Constitution of the United States of America..."

You can watch clips of his statements from that 2022 interview here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39RHsfm-RH8

Burns has run for Congress twice before, in 2018 and 2022. Although he campaigned as a Trump-inspired candidate in those years, he failed to secure an endorsement from the former president. This year, however, it appears he has finally received that endorsement. Donald Trump posted, "There are many great conservatives exploring a run for that seat, but Mark Burns has been with me from the very beginning of our movement to Make America Great Again," adding, "Pastor Mark Burns is an America First fighter and has my complete and total endorsement." That endorsement is significant in a crowded field of nine Republican candidates. Furthermore, the previous election did not even feature a Democrat on the ballot—the winner of the Republican primary will be the prohibitive favorite to win the congressional seat.

You can see the endorsement here:

It does not appear that Burns has changed his views towards LGBTQ+ and transgender individuals. The day before receiving the endorsement, he took to Twitter to call Transgender Day of Visibility "blasphemous" and "an insult to the millions of Christians who celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ," reacting to Transgender Day of Visibility coinciding with Easter Sunday in 2024. Notably, Transgender Day of Visibility has always fallen on March 31, while Easter's date varies. Just after receiving the endorsement, Burns appeared on the far-right Freeman Report, where he claimed that Democrats are "attacking real women in America" with transgender-inclusive policies.

Trump’s endorsement is the latest sign that the candidate is embracing extremist anti-LGBTQ+ and anti-transgender stances for the 2024 election. On March 30th, Trump decried a proclamation by Biden recognizing Transgender Day of Visibility, calling it “blasphemous” and demanding that he “issue an apology to the millions of Catholics and Christians across America who believe tomorrow is for one celebration only—the resurrection of Jesus Christ.” Trump has previously advocated for targeting gender transition support “at any age” and investigating hospitals and manufacturers of hormone therapy and puberty blockers. He has also previously called for national bans on trans youth care as well as a national trans sports ban.

When asked about the endorsement on the Freeman Report, Burns stated that Trump had called him and declared him "the congressman," indicating that both Trump and Burns feel confident about the impact of the endorsement. The Republican primary election for the seat is scheduled for June 11, 2024. Should he win over 50% of the vote, Burns will represent the Republican Party in the race for a seat that has been held by a Republican since 1995.

It was a good read. Not at all what I expected. There really wasn't any gender theory at all and no attempt justifying gender identity. It was just full throated support for all gender identities, which was nice.

I also found it really interesting how antiquated a lot of the language is after only two decades, but the message itself is at least as progressive as the conversations people are having now. There's such an emphasis on transness outside of binary trans people.

I feel like this understanding of gender would really cut out a lot of the bullshit gatekeeping truscum arguments out. A lot of truscum look at enby or GNC people and say, "you're just a man in a dress" to which I think Feinberg would reply, "Yes, and?" Men in dresses also have an outlawed gender expression which deserves defending. Considering how armed fascists keep showing up to drag events, I think this view has been vindicated.

I also find it interesting how s/he changes hir pronouns depending on the social context. To me, this level of fluidity acknowledges gender as a social manifestation as opposed to anything essential.

Anyway, I'd like to read more. I was turned to Marxism through history, so I'd like to read up on pre-modern queer history. When I'm arguing with people about gender, I always bring up the fact that gender expression has varied throughout history and there are lots of examples of gender outside of the binary; however, I don't actually have specific examples that I am really familiar with.

Could anyone recommend a book that goes over non-cis gender identities throughout history and the roles they played? I'd really prefer a central source that covers a lot of cases as opposed to a deep discussion of a single one.

Thanks, comrades

cross-posted from: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/4171946

He wants to bring back HUAC too...

I can get away with wearing mens tops and shoes, but my hips are too fabulous for mens pants to look good on me. So I gotta settle for women's pants.

So I'm currently doing field work for Ecology so I need to get PRACTICAL WORK PANTS WITH LOTS OF POCKETS.

Meanwhile women's clothing shops are like "UwU, work clothes for women? You mean these business pants with no pockets?" There are no other kinds of workwear for women IN THE WORKWEAR SECTION.

No motherfucker I mean cargo pants with all the pockets and belt loops. I'm going out in the bush. I need pockets for extra batteries and I need belt loops to hook a satellite GPS to. Fuck.

Look at this sexist bullshit. Here is the women's workwear section:

Here is the men's workwear section, same store:

Apparently all women work in offices and all men work physical labour jobs and fuck you if you deviate from your assigned role in life.

FUCK GENDER ROLES AAAAA IT'S 2024 AND THEY'RE STILL DOING THE FUCKING NO POCKETS THING

EDIT: Thank you comrades for all the suggestions on where to shop.

cross-posted from: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/4150621

Please subscribe.

You can access the link here.

^ PDF version from MEGA.

Fuck off. Seriously. Eat all of my shit.

Come back to me when you're an afab enby or a trans man, and then you can talk about how it feels to be emasculated.

I've been made to feel like a fucking piece of trash for showing any masculinity my entire life, except I never even had a word for it, because for someone born without a dick, emasculation is norm.

You don't know shit about shit.

Hi everyone, I haven't posted here in a while but I could use your input.

I've been struggling recently with the clear shift toward trans genocide in the United States. I don't think we're there yet, but things are bad, getting worse, and the course seems unalterable at this point. I find myself alternating between periods of contentedness with my own day-to-day and absolute terror at the increasingly fascistic state of this country.

I also happen to teach courses that discuss gender issues, and student attitudes have paralleled the national mood. I am now routinely dealing with hardline anti-trans students who have made my life difficult. I worry about my safety in the classroom, and especially fear being doxed by Libs of TikTok or the like.

The other day I was driving to work in a panic about the gender topics I would need to teach that day and how they would be received. I felt genuinely very anxious and afraid. I was not in an ideal headspace. So what happens? I arrive at work, start heading toward my office, and immediately overhear two coworkers discussing trans issues.

One of these colleagues is a gay philosophy professor who has expressed TERFy attitudes in the past, and this was not the first time I've caught him debating the cough cough "trans question" in the workplace. In the past I felt he was mostly just a liberal doofus who got exposed to TERF arguments but hadn't pursued them deeply. But now I'm beginning to think he's fully down the rabbit hole. Why would anyone else talk about the issue this much?

Meanwhile the person he's discussing this with was someone I thought to be an ally. And sure enough, she seemed to be mostly defending trans people. But then I heard her use the word "pretend," as in cis people must pretend trans people are who they say they are and I just kind of snapped.

I walked over to them and shouted (almost verbatim) YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE WHO AND WHAT WE ARE. THIS ISN'T YOUR BUSINESS. WE AREN'T YOUR PHILOSOPHY. STICK TO WHAT YOU KNOW. and stormed off. I then immediately walked into my classroom and skipped ahead to a different unit not focused on gender.

My boss is supportive and said I won't be getting into trouble for this. He felt I was in the right and was annoyed that the other faculty seemed less concerned with what I'd said and more concerned that their freedom of speech was being intruded upon.

It doesn't appear there will be repercussions, but I feel a bit guilty about how things transpired while also simultaneously still very angry about what I heard. I'm just pissed as hell. What should I do?

I believe this Substack article is free, but I'm subscribed so they're all free to me.

But I only subscribed recently and it was free before I did so.

Anyway, check it out, if you can.

I can also provide a MEGA link if not publicly available.

I'm a queer spirit warrior, and I need monsters to slay

On Thursday, a legal filing by PFLAG National revealed that Attorney General Ken Paxton of Texas was seeking identification of transgender members. The organization alleges retaliation.

The stupidest part is where they make leaving your shitty ass state feel illegal. What are we, serfs?

:cc any comrades want to float me enough BTC to start trading on bisq so I can buy my own?

Introduction

This journey is dedicated to the tremendous healing, vitality, creativity, and passion embodied in queer people. It is a journey of self-discovery for people who believe life beyond the cishet norm is a cause for celebration! You are beautiful. You are worthy of love and no matter how alienated and oppressed we are by capitalism, we have the duty to give it to ourselves. Queer self-love is resistance to capitalism.

This group is a guided journaling practice for queer people to work towards self-acceptance, self-understanding and empowerment to live openly. I intend to explore my gender identity, but this group is open to cis people looking for greater security in non-heterosexual sexuality. The framework is loosely adapted from the book 'Gay Spirit Warrior' by John R. Stowe. Pacing and overall structure is at the discretion of the group!

Week 2: Early Beliefs

This week is dedicated to examining the origins of our internalized beliefs about sexuality and gender & killing the cop inside our head (reprogramming our inner critic). Take them at the pace that makes sense for you! Also please reach out to support and help other people reflect and interpret their own answers. This is meant to be personal reflection but also community building.

In the spirit of TC_69, I love my trans and queer comrades!