this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2024
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politics

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[–] NineMileTower@lemmy.world 233 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (13 children)

I think Vance's problem is that he has no defense for anyone's claims. You can claim ANYTHING about Vance, true or not, and people are like, "Yeah, I see it."

My mom had JD Vance as a student in Ohio. He kept 3 of his pet frogs in his underwear during the day and no one knew why.

See?

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 118 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 35 points 3 months ago (1 children)

did you enjoy the visualization?

[–] AbidanYre@lemmy.world 60 points 3 months ago (1 children)

AP can't prove he didn't keep pet frogs in his underwear.

[–] DScratch@sh.itjust.works 19 points 3 months ago (2 children)

And they were unable to find the frogs for comment.

[–] WindyRebel@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago

They probably croaked at this point.

[–] PlasticExistence@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

Have they checked in the couch?

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 56 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

His own party made racist jokes about his wife being Indian and this guy is like, "Yeah she's not white."

Wtf.

I would have taken any other answer, even the Will Smith slap. Jeez this fucking guy.

[–] DogPeePoo@lemm.ee 35 points 3 months ago

I think Vance’s problem is he’s super weird

[–] billiam0202@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Where'd he keep the rest of them?

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 21 points 3 months ago (1 children)

In the couch to keep them moist.

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[–] AlecSadler@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 months ago

I ate the onion on that statement, good on ya

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That makes total sense. I just hope he took them out when he had carnal relations with the settee.

[–] don@lemm.ee 4 points 3 months ago

No, he wanted to be able to claim he’d been in “orgies”.

[–] driving_crooner 9 points 3 months ago (2 children)

How many pet frogs did he had?

[–] modus@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

Normal amount.

[–] don@lemm.ee 3 points 3 months ago

Well, enough to keep three in his underwear.

[–] NatakuNox@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

I heard they were tadpoles but came out frogs. So they were in there for a while.

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

Just look at the guy y'know

[–] crusa187@lemmy.ml 6 points 3 months ago

I heard he liked the extra couch friction gained from the frog warts.

[–] xc2215x@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] MeekerThanBeaker@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Technically, ladies underwear, but I don't judge.

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[–] dogsnest@lemmy.world 106 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

James David (formerly ~~Duncan~~ Donald) Vance requests that he be referred to as JD. Makes fun of woman requesting to be referred to as "she."

That's weird.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 40 points 3 months ago

Hey, have some respect - the female anatomy terrifies him so much that he can't even stand to think about a period every time he looks at his own name.

[–] greenshirtdenimjeans@sh.itjust.works 25 points 3 months ago (1 children)

James Donald Bowman

Not Duncan but we dunkin on him

[–] dogsnest@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ya, I yanked Duncan outta my ass, thanks for the clarity!

[–] meco03211@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Your ass and a couch? That weird fucker will fuck anything!

[–] dogsnest@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

Taking "pillow talk" to its natural conclusion.

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 64 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Well, so far there are already unsettling rumors about his sexual attraction towards couch cushions and dolphins... That is pretty weird

[–] dogsnest@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago

The singed monkey nuts stuff was above board, tho'.

[–] AbidanYre@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

Maybe he's the one that was inviting Cawthorne to all those orgies.

Lmao even Devin Nunes’ Cow got in on the trolling 😂

[–] N0body@sh.itjust.works 33 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Guy running for VP: "JD Vance may have sex with couches, dolphins, and even more disturbing things the electorate will learn about soon enough, but JD Vance will be damned if JD Vance ever uses the devil's pronouns."

[–] Minarble@aussie.zone 2 points 3 months ago

Something something burnt monkey testicles

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 33 points 3 months ago (3 children)

i may have to eat my own words...

[–] FunderPants@lemmy.ca 39 points 3 months ago

Man, a lot of us are eating our words from the days before Biden dropped out. I chopped mine up into a salad, it was alright.

[–] ASDraptor@lemmy.autism.place 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You and I. What nobody was expecting is that Trump picked such a bad VP that it would ruin his race this bad.

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Unfortunately I don't think Donalds need to always be correct will override his desire to be a dictator and stay out of jail.

If Vance is still VP by election day then I'll be a monkeys uncle. I don't actually know what that saying is supposed to mean, but if I'm wrong then at least I get to be an uncle to a monkey and that's kinda cool, right?

[–] Seleni@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

It was originally used by creationists to mock Darwin, and from there slowly entered the lexicon as an expression of disbelief.

[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

It was originally used by creationists to mock Darwin

...and end up mocking themselves, in typical Dunning-Kruger fashion...

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[–] hibsen@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

I've never been this thrilled to be wrong before.

[–] blazera@lemmy.world 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I want em to be roasted but it's a bit lame to see weirdness alone being condemned.

[–] BassTurd@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

I agree that being weird isn't a bad thing, but to someone with a complex like "Couch Fucker ~~JD~~ KY Jelly Vance" calling him weird is like poison. I'd like to think most of us that have weird tendencies or are socially nontypical can see the difference between weird and weird. Vance is weird.

[–] LovingHippieCat@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago

Fuck Chris Cuomo in this clip, dudes reaction to a simple thing of Harris stating her pronouns are she/her at a town hall responds by saying "Mine too"

What a piece of shit. But hey, at least we know how to refer to Chris now, she's "so brave."

[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 12 points 3 months ago

The "No weird, no weird, you're the weird" defense isn't going to work this time.

[–] Buffalox@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

JD Vance may be the absolute best running mate Trump could have chosen.
I Applaud Trump's courage on this decision!

/s

[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I think we are going to have to swap out the famous phrase "keep fucking that chicken" with "keep fucking that couch", at least when it comes to JD.

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/091/272/that-chicken-keep-fucking-that-chicken-demotivational-poster-1253223506.jpg

[–] TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Ernie Anastos... That's an 81 year old I'd vote for.

[–] xc2215x@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

Good. He should be.

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