this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2024
245 points (95.9% liked)

Not The Onion

12299 readers
830 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

???

all 27 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] JimmyBigSausage@lemm.ee 104 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 31 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Streaming "woke" Homophobic Chicken right to your home. Nope.

[–] cyborganism@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] Fish@midwest.social 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I don't know. You'll have to ask the conservatives who were boycotting Chick-Fil-A for being "woke."

[–] cyborganism@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 months ago
[–] Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I was checking to see if I recalled correctly that CF-Lay was homophobic. And they are/ were. But the original owner passed away, so who knows now. However now they are being accused of being "woke" by whoever makes that discernment, maybe because of an overt stance claiming to be more inclusive. All the same, I avoid fast food chain restaurants because of my interest in eating well, and living healthy.

[–] cyborganism@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 months ago

Funny how being nice to others is something that's perceived as bad by the right.

I guess you just have to be nice only to the "right" people.

[–] NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip 43 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Nah. BUNCH of white folk who can't stop talking about how great the service is at chik fil a and how they teach people to respect customers will lap this up. Same with the people who insist that chikfila makes the best chicken on the planet because even a single spec of spice would give them an upset tum-tum and the pickle marinade means they can overcook the white meat without turning it into powder.

People are probably too young to remember but there was very much a time when fox news was "center right" compared to CNN's "center left" and was mostly billed around being "fair and balanced". Shit like this is an attempt to get conservative-lite programming out there in preparation for the inevitable push back of mask off bigotry after November.

[–] mynamesnotrick@lemmy.zip 33 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

In my head I imagine it all religious based streaming, like those weird religious channels you can pick up on your tv over the air.

[–] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 14 points 2 months ago

Oh yeah. I betcha that stuff is "surprisingly" still unlicensed for streaming, and lands there right away.

[–] node_user@feddit.uk 32 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Guess it'll be called chick-a-flix. Or if its porn. Fil-a-chick

[–] athairmor@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

Net-Chix.

And they’ll be surprised that people cancel after the trial because they couldn’t find any porn.

[–] Badeendje@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Besides the fact nobody wants this, With who's content?

[–] atocci@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Remember the Geico caveman commercial they turned into a sitcom? It'll be original content just like that, but with sentient cows instead.

Edit: I believe what I have described is called Back at the Barnyard (2007-2011)

[–] Corvid@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Their own original content apparently 🤣

[–] WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Kevin Sorbo is Hercules Jesus"

"Dean Cain and Jim Cavezal star in Anti-Justice Warriors"

[–] Badeendje@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh now I get it.. and a hulk Hogan reality soap like Ozzy Osbourne used to do.. but then with more shirt tearing.

[–] gnate@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

He's already been there, before Ozzy, if I recall.

[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

It’ll be cooking shows on how to make everything taste like it was soaked in pickle juice for thirty years , and then served up with a side of smug Christian pretension.

[–] wittilysarcastic@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

But will they stream on Sundays?

[–] DemocratPostingSucks@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago

They're not paying much per half hour, only $400k, maybe this makes sense lol? They'd only need to make $590k per half hour, which for, say, 50 hours total of original content (it is a chicken restaurant after all) with a $5/mo subscription over five years equates to only 23k subscribers averaged over those five years for an over 8% ROI, which given how many people sign up for these $/mo streaming services doesn't seem insane.

[–] kemsat@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Christian agenda TV

[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This is a chicken fastfood right ? wtf ?

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 14 points 2 months ago

Yeah - the fastfood chicken place that hates gay marriage.

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 4 points 2 months ago

They learned this trick from Disney?

[–] Sgt_choke_n_stroke@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Where else are they gonna play "this is us" commercials without getting laughed at?