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A seating chart for an "8 HOUR FLIGHT" with the text "PICK YOUR SEAT" at the top. The chart is composed of 10 numbered seats, each occupied by a different famous Republican politician or public figure, or the devil. Each number represents a seat, and each seat is either adjacent to or between one or two different individuals.
As a non-American, I only recognize Donald Trump and Hulk Hogan in this picture. I would pick seat 7. The person in front of me looks innocent, and behind me is a woman, so she probably isn’t too tall and won't kick my chair. She might even allow me to recline my seat. I don't know much about Hulk Hogan, but he seems like a cool dude, and I like his mustache. Tell me, did I choose wisely?
Ted Cruz always looks like a dog that just shit on your carpet.
10, I can watch the show in front while the guy next to me turtle crawls to the grave
And if I get bored as a constituent I have words for Vance and I’m not afraid to speak across an aisle to inform him what I think
10 so I don't have to smell Donnie's dirty diaper
It's the best smelling shit you, or anyone, will have ever smelled, I guarantee it. It's the best, ask anyone.
4: I can egg him on all flight and seed some new conspiracies. Maybe even record everything and send it to the lawyer handling the sandyhook case.
9 for the lawls, 5 for a nap.
Maybe 4 so I don't risk JD mistaking me for cushions while I'm passing by for the bathroom.
Pilot seat cause I'm gunna crash the plane
I mean I bet the devil would be super interesting. Great conversationalist, too. Almost...seductive.
5 because JD Vance is DEFINITELY a closeted bottom, and as much as he sucks, he's pretty hot ngl
Nah, he'd just be mad you're sitting on his date.
That's not entirely true, everyone knows boebert is also a whore in the sexual manner too.
Maybe you can ask for a handjob
10 For Sure!
Both of these assholes think they deserve respect.
It would be so much fun to needle them.
Going 9. Robert and Green bickering would be fun to stoke. Plus I kinda think I could get along with Robert for the duration by annoying Ghram. I will also be leaning all the way back and throwing my trash behind me where it belongs
I like how your phone thinks Bobert is a typo.
ill take the wing, or risk the cold in the landing gear chamber
I don't know who the guy next to me is but 10. I'll be at the aisle, facing it at a 15° angle, I also pee a lot, and the old dude will probably nap soundly for most of the flight anyway
Can I get the seat on the wing?
Next to Hogan I'll at least get to hear his absurd lies and he can tell me stories about wrestling, though the stories won't be accurate.
I'm between Green and Boebert, I might get a handjob but I'll get a brain aneurysm... Tough choices
Just strap me to the wing.
#4. At least you could get Alex talking about lizard people and stuff.
I'd take seat 7, dude. Then distract Terry with questions about pythons, jack.
1
I get to kick trumps seat and put shit in his hair all flight long. I'm not worried about Nick id just kick his ass.
5 is relatively safe, since I'm not a sofa. I can handle awkward silence.
3 could probably be a good time. He's a dick, sure, but he's probably not as annoying as any of the others.
Just storm the cockpit and crash the plane. Good sacrifice.
If I'm gonna get to tell people about this story, I'm not gonna settle for the 2nd best reason that your flight complaint doesn't register on the scale I've dealt with. I'm going for the best. It can literally only go up from here.
5 does not have any open seat. Would likely go with 3 I'll make a deal with Satan to erase all this people in the plane, for my unborn child.
I'd go with 9 to shred any remaining will to live left in me.