i don't know why but i feel strongly about this topic and the comments are not helping either, if i were to host a function and invite people over and they refused to show without previously telling me they won't be able to make it, i would hurt them so much they won't get over it and that'd be the end of whatever friendship existed between us

in my part of the world, social events are to be honored, if you can't or don't want to go, that's fine and you should say so before hand, if you can't anyways, you're expected to reach out to the person and make amends for that

Oh man, I did not need to read this now …..

I have people coming over today. They cancelled on a previous weekend and are hemming and hawing. The event is that I have a smoker and and want to make all kinds of new foods. I have $100 of meat, an elaborate salad and sides. Dessert also goes on the smoker. I just want someone to help eat.

This weekend’s feast is duck. Dry brined, stuffed with oranges, and smoked. Or chicken, to bribe a picky eater to come.

But it’s cold and rainy so the outdoor seating is out and I don’t really have space inside . I have an afternoon of cooking ahead that I was so excited for but have lost my motivation, dreading wasted time and money if they don’t show up

I've experienced stuff like this.

I think the last time I tried being above and beyond type of host, had a bunch of people coming over for a big weekend. I thought I do something really special and make steaks. But this wasn't just going to be like any grilled steak no no no. These steaks were going to be prepped the night before and then sous vide. But before I even started this plan I reached out to everyone and said what I was planning to do and ask if there were any issues with it, any requests, etc. I describe to everyone and great detail what I was going to make. Not one person said anything other than the "sounds good".

If you're unfamiliar with sous vide the short of it is it takes a long time to cook. Generally it's measured in hours I'd say. As such I need to cook all of the steaks at the same temperature for the same amount of time I don't have the setup at home to do individual orders.

One of the individuals once they got here, asked if I could make them a hamburger instead. Like I was a fucking restaurant.

And another one slathered it with ketchup without even trying it without. Claimed it was overcooked and dry. 🤨

Thankfully everyone else thoroughly enjoyed their perfect steaks.

Other times I would buy up a bunch of stuff so we could have breakfast. Like a proper breakfast, not just a handful of carbs in calling it good. But people would wake up late despite knowing when breakfast was going to be on. And then say they weren't hungry. And not 30 minutes out the door, talking about picking up something or swinging by somewhere to quick grab a bite.

I literally could have just bought 1 bag of chips, 2 jars of queso, and saved $100 and 2 days of prep work.

Don't forget the beer, but YEAH! You way over prepared for five whole people. If you had invited 10ish, maybe 15 (because then 10 show up), then yeah, but this is waaaay too much for 5. Especially depending on your ages, they may not have expected such hospitality and ate beforehand if they weren't warned "hey come hungry and sober, there's food and libations abound," etc.

Don't give up, learn from this and adjust a little for next time! Just invite a few more, warn 'em of the full plans (food, booze, ykwim), or make less food. If you do it regularly (like say Football Sundays at your house) the event will grow and more food will be necessary, but start small! This looks like a good hang, I'd have joined for the food and I don't even like wrastlin', just needs some restructuring!

At least the booze and weed don't go bad!

You needed to invite a lot more people and at least a few people who didn’t like wrestling.

cut the cheese into cubes with individual toothpicks

Jeez, next time just use a knife my dude.

To be honest, a 50% attendance record sounds pretty good. I'm really sorry to hear about this though, the spread looks great, and anyone that puts a watch party on for All In is going to put on a good time.

What time was it on for you guys? I went the first year and had an amazing time, but sadly had work this year. Perhaps you should make the pilgrimage over next year for Forbidden Door?

Are those things in the middle at the back soft pretzels? They look like conkers (horse chestnuts), confused the hell out of me!

This is why I always eat all the food I can at a party. Everyone else is being too polite and someone's gotta eat all that food.

You're a good host, sorry to hear this

I am sorry this was your experience, it’s an awesome and tasty spread, I would have loved to have been invited and would have eaten a lot of it haha

That said, I think some times disappointments like this happen because there’s some mismatch in people’s expectations of an event

I find that sometimes it also helps to let people know in advance that there will be food so they don’t eat beforehand. Sorry if you already mentioned this in the thread somewhere. I hope you make some more friends, but no need to officially break things off with anyone from this event. Just cool it with them for awhile I guess

I don't know if that makes you feel better, but for my 40th birthday I invited 20 people, prepared accordingly, and 3 showed up.
Not even my wife was there, cause she ate too much of the dough for the weed brownies she had made for the occasion.
She crashed half an hour before the guests showed up.

We sat around the table, emptied a couple bags of chips, I was the only one who drank beer. My friends left after 2 hours.

What you did for your friends was great. I would have absolutely appreciated you doing this if you were my friend and invited me. That said, one of the things I've noticed after covid is that a lot of people are already going to go home after gatherings. Getting baked/drinking might be an issue with that. Were your friends driving by chance?

My fucking guy, you had free trees and booze and they still didn't show up?

Are you sure they're your friends?

I'm sorry this happened but if it makes you feel better, I'd totally love to come over there and chow down on all of that stuff.

I never understand posts like this. Someone could ask me to split a six piece nugget and I'm there. Sorry that you went through that, but it looks wonderful, and very thoughtful. They don't deserve you ❤️

spread + AEW sounds like a great time OP I think its possible that your friends are not pro-level friends but maybe something else is amiss?

• live in ohio
• not good at video games
• only know 4 girls, all have same name
• the guys were all white dudes with beard + glasses, couldn't tell each other apart
• invited mean guy

if not one of those try getting pro friends

That's still way too much food even if everyone came. And everyone never comes.

Two things:

• Did your friends know you were going to have a bunch of food and they were expected to eat it?
• Was your party at a time that people normally eat?

I find that if it's too early/late or if you didn't tell them what was expected, your results are suboptimal. Could just be your friends, though.

Keep trying my friend! I would have been moved out of there with a wheelbarrow.

Damn them wangs look good.....

They wouldna survived intact

There's a tough lesson I learned about trying to get my friends into board games: It's easier to turn gamers into your friends than it is to turn your friends into gamers. I've learned that some of my friends are never going to share my interests as much as I'd like, but that just means I needed to find people who were already in whatever hobby and start hanging out with them and some of them will eventually be your real friends.

Making and keeping friends as an adult is way more difficult than it seems it should be, but it's a painful reality.

Communication is key, and you seem to be struggling in that department.

It always sucks when this sort of thing happens. Sorry man.

I feel your pain.

Years ago I threw a party for work friends and acquaintances where I had 30 confirmed and 10 tentative (from calendar invite). I bought a variety of drinks (alcoholic and non) and bought/cooked food for about 50 to ensure there was plenty.

... 4 people showed up.

That was the instant that I stopped giving a fuck. Ever since then I've adopted the approach of "I'm going to do something, you can come if you want, but I'm not planning for you". Or, more commonly, I just don't organize anything :)

EDIT: I should note that this was a recurring yearly party that got bigger and bigger over 5 years until it just died. Pre COVID.

That’s…. A lot of chicken. Even for four peeps.

I’m sorry you went to all that trouble, though.

I’d drop a few recipes for what to do with it… but uhm, I hope that chicken is long gone by now, heh.

Side note, you need better friends! Pro wrestling isn’t my jam, at least I’d hang out. Maybe shout insults at the heel or something.

Is that a tip jar on the table? Even if not, just the association is enough for people to feel like they have to contribute financially for the food. While that isn't an outrageous thought, for people who are tight on their finances, it might be an uncomfortable situation where they'd rather skip on the food than take it and not pay a share.

That's fucked up I'm sorry, I'd have eaten an entire plate of cheese hors d'vors myself and taken half that chicken with me afterwards. I'm not even into wrestling and I'd have come for that food.

You're a good friend for providing that for a watch party (on top of paying for ppv) and I'm sorry your friends don't appreciate how well you maintain your half of the bridge. The least the 2 could have done is tried the cheese and chicken.

Edit holy shit are those pre stuffed pretzel bites. Bro wtf is wrong with these people I'd have asked if anyone wanted any and eaten the entire plate. (I may or may not have portion control issues but seriously, they didnt touch any of that delicious looking food)

Gotta invite more than 4 people

Don't be discouraged. This may not have worked out like you hoped and planned, but keep doing awesome things. Somebody will love you for it and you'll have a lot of fun.

I need friends like you. I would have eaten so much I felt ill. Then helped clean. (I love cleaning, I know I'm weird.)

In reverse, I'd never throw a party like that because my anxiety is exactly afraid it'll turn out like you said.

Shit. Can you invite me next time?

The foods looks delicious. I would have been glad even if wrestling is not my cup of tea.

You need better friends. No, seriously, you do.