this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2023
279 points (97.3% liked)

The Onion

4446 readers
99 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
seahorse@midwest.social
pbrisgreat@midwest.social
279
New iPhone 15 Includes 12 Animal Sounds And Colorful Lever (www.theonion.com)
submitted 1 year ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
20 comments fedilink hide all child comments
all 22 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] aeronmelon@lemm.ee 33 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The Tim Cook goes...

"Good moOOorning!"

[–] Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The Steve jobs goes "fuck the newton"

[–] eltimablo@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

Ironically, the ARM chip in the iPhone only exists because Apple tried to make the Newton.

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I bet the 16 will have TWO levers!

[–] ares35@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

ima gonna wait for the Gillette model.

[–] HenriHenr@feddit.de 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

*Only the pro version

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

Well sure, but what kind of poverty-stricken commoner can't afford the pro version?

[–] ThrowawayInTheYear23@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Mooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[–] MooseBoys@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

I came pretty close to eating the onion on this one.

[–] Francis_Fujiwara@sh.itjust.works -5 points 1 year ago (3 children)

You really have to be a normie to buy an iPhone...

[–] MooseBoys@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago

If by “normie” you mean “normal person” then sure, I guess…

[–] Zink@programming.dev -3 points 1 year ago

Nah, you just have to want to treat your phone as an appliance rather than yet another computer to fuck around with.

…and it helps when the friends & family around you are normies overwhelmingly using Apple devices, lol.