Asklemmy

Tell my wife I now have "fuck you money", and then fuck her lots because she could quit her shitty stressful job and have energy again.

I would buy as much land as I could. Build myself a reasonable house and a load of barns. I have always wanted to run a farm animal sanctuary that takes in abused and unwanted farm friends. Then I would spend the rest of my days laughing at goats and cows and chickens being derpy. That and maybe take a nice vacation to the beach once in a while.

2 chicks at the same time

I probably wouldn't quit my job because I like it. I probably wouldn't even tell many people I had that much money. My only debt is my mortgage so that would be gone. I'd probably buy a better house with an actual yard. Sell this house to my roommate for dirt cheap. (There's no way he'd just take it)

Probably do some lying that my brother won some kind of raffle and give him a bunch of racecar parts. Shit maybe even sponsor a race team or two, gotta get the young kids back in the sport as all the old guys retire.

I'd probably buy some land in another area, give myself a vacation house. But this wouldn't be immediate. Probably get a new car, mines pretty old. Build a greenhouse on my new property, have way too many rescue animals. Maybe even run a small rescue.

All this is assuming I've already set myself up for retirement and I'm good to go with everything else.

Buy a nice home, upgrade it to my liking (CAT6 to all parts of it, solar panels/energy storage/network cabinet/make it watertight and safe for the next 50 years), buy a shitty looking van with a petrol powered pressure washer and indemnity insurance and spend my spare time going around cleaning paths and monuments etc. in my local area.

Order a pizza, don't want to make big decisions on an empty stomach

Massive underground dwelling. Not sure why, but that was my first thought.

Not sure how much money that is, but I would start a "quiet landscaping" company that used reel mowers instead of gas mowers, rakes instead of leaf blowers, and I would undercut every landscaping company in my town just to promote the idea of a quiet neighborhood.

I would try to ease the life of everyone around me.

Not tell anyone and see how little work I can do at work before they fire me. I bet I could even get promoted.

Buy off all the politicians and have them implement policies that will benefit the working class. Invest heavily in renewable energy sources and public transportation. Buy all the comic books.

Hire someone to manage my money.

build an offgrid house

Pretty sure quitting your job would be the first thing most people would do.

But next up? Booking tickets to Japan to eat and drink my way through the country for a few months.

"Two chicks at the same time." - Lawrence

I'd do what Mark Cuban did with his Cost Plus Drug Company, which sells everything on it at cost + 15%, but for other essential products as well. I'd open up all types of stores that sell necessities - petrol, groceries, medication, plants, technology items, books, etc - at cost + whatever the lowest margin mark up I could get away with. The goal would be to drive prices down everywhere, not just at my stores. I'd also spend big on lobbying/campaigning for better legislation and regulation around essential goods and services.

Low cost public housing would be another area. Buying up land to build low cost housing estates with all the facilities and amenities needed.

Obviously it goes without saying I'd set up everyone of my family and close friends for life too.

Work on finding a way to sustainably help the most people.

I'd pay off all my debts, put away enough to be able to quit my job without losing any income, and give the rest away. I already have everything I want and need, the move now is to get rid of shit I don't want.

Pay off my mortgage. And those of my siblings. Boring, but it's what I'd do first...

Relentlessly lobby for right to repair.

Have a nap. Phone off, door locked, for as long as I want level nap.

Set up a program for kids to get school supplies and lunch money, and also for them to get some gear for playing games (e.g. a "good enough to play most games" PC or a console)

This could also extend to hobbies in the arts like digital design software, paint supplies, instruments, you name it

As a kid I wished so much that something like this was accessible to me

Oh and also buy out adobe and make it's subscriptions one-time payments again lol

The very first thing? Quit work and drag the family for a long trip first to Japan, and then to Iceland.

After then, the important stuff. Start an IT school somewhere in West Africa, maybe an IT service provider. And while I'm at it, build a race track and try and build up a racing community. Preferably with local-built electrical vehicles.

Start a housing coop and community land trust to keep housing in the hands of people that need it. Rapid public transport for the housing coop for work, groceries, etc. Buy the old tracks and turn them into intercity people carries.

Buy the land from friends and family to pay off their debts and give it to the community land trust.

Start a community coop grocery store, pharmacy, clinic, etc.

Start a community electric coop focused on being a microgrid first and connection the national grid second.

Start a community fiber and wireless ISP coop, and fighting tool and nail to end the current ISPs state monpoly on shitty expensive service.

Try and create guerenteed minimums for both so no one has to disconnect because the money istoo tight.

Buy large property, create an anarchist commune, build Earthships and similar housing out of sustainable recycled material, setup public gathering spaces, spa areas, perhaps stuff like rooms for artists, musicians, workshops, etc. Grow weed, shrooms and veggies, have some animals living in relative freedom and perfect health.

Ensure everything is weather proof based on location's projected future climate, build water/heating/energy infrastructure (solar, wind), offer each building as rent-to-buy, keep growing the community and make sure to plan for the day the government gets scared and sends in their death squads.

Basically something like Kristiania in Copenhagen but bigger and more focused on sustainability and land mass, so probably outside of major cities.

Addendum: Would be a good idea to make it impossible to have this grown into an insane religious cult though. 🌚

Buy a full tank of gas.

I'd pay off all of my family's debt and secure them financially for life. Then I'd start a truly universal housing project in my city and state.

I'l tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time.

A. Build affordable housing and help some people I know escape the poverty we're all fucking stuck in.

Or

B. Targeted attacks on billionaire industries and assets: a campaign of anti-greed terrorism. Sunk yachts, destroyed offices, and offshore resort hidey holes burned to the ground until I'm out of resources.

Probably find a good lawyer.

I'd try to start a racing career. Always wanted to since I was a kid but it's always been out of my reach.

Quit work and start a new hobby to spend serious time in. Not sure what that would be.

I'd buy a house. Not something huge, but decently sized riverfront property.

Buy a house, start my reptile projects, throw extras at the fediverse, the fediverse succeeding is very important long-term.

A house or nice apartment.

Then I’d buy a private train to boast among the other rich people how much more climate friendly that is… pretty sure Davos has a train station, right?

I've had on my mind for some months to create a company to build "the perfect phone"

Repairable, big swappable battery, headphone jack, pogo pins for modular extensions, rootable easily and open sourcing a maximum of it.

Not sure what "fuck you" money is, but if it can buy me a decent gaming laptop, I'd use it immediately.