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submitted 21 hours ago by PurrLure@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net

I'm seriously thinking about skipping health insurance another year to help with saving. Do you think that will be more expensive in the long run? I don't have any major health problems, but I also haven't visited a general practitioner in like a decade so there could be something hiding. Every decision is such a huge gamble in this fucking country. I hate it here but my job and degree aren't in demand internationally, and I'm not willing to marry an internet stranger overseas (I'm already taken anyways) so if I can't leave the country I can at least move to a state that chuds aren't swarming to with each passing year.

(This isn't because Harris lost, I'm not a fucking lib. It's because the abortion amendment failed despite 57% approval. I'm just an object here. I've actually been planning it out for a couple of years now, but this was the final straw.)

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[-] ClimateChangeAnxiety@hexbear.net 5 points 11 hours ago

I finally left a couple months ago, best decision I’ve ever made. Florida’s fucking done for. Partially because of the political shift, but also because climate change.

I’m convinced soon Florida will get hit by like 3 or 4 bad hurricanes right in a row and become basically uninhabitable

[-] LaughingLion@hexbear.net 6 points 13 hours ago

My wife and I are considering it. And for the first time, actually considering the full expat route. But money is always the concern.

[-] PurrLure@hexbear.net 2 points 12 hours ago

For sure, if it weren't for the money, I would have high tailed it out of here years ago.

[-] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 18 points 19 hours ago

I left as a young bozo about 17 years ago. I've lived in 3 other states and worked in 4. never regretted it for a second, one of the best decisions I ever made was to get the fuck out. I lived in some places many would assume would be worse than Florida. none of them were. Florida is fucking awful.

I have family who live there and they have always acted like I'm crazy for hating the place so vehemently, but over the years that has softened to a general agreement, though they stay. supposedly this year they are agreeing it's time to finally go.

anyway, beyond saving what you can for the move, to me the critical piece of relocating is being hired into a job at your destination and targeting your search to geographies you want to live in. find the job, then find the housing. if you can get hired as remote to transition, that's ideal. but an offer contingent on relocation is great. an employer and coworkers can be a great instant-network to find housing and knowing what you'll make is clutch at targeting your housing search.

all that to say, it's such a pain to move and the lead up can be dispiriting, but think of it this way: outside of Florida, there are some beautiful communities and places in this world and you have a great many to chose from to build a future. you speak the language, you have citizenship papers, you can open a bank account and operate a vehicle... those are massive barriers to a lot of migrants and political refugees.

if you wait until it's harder to stay than it is harder to move, you waited too long.

[-] PropagandaIsUseless@hexbear.net 5 points 17 hours ago

I'm looking to move from a different state to somewhere else. It's just not feasible to move to another country, but I have to remind myself that there's good people here in this country, I just have to find them.

I'd love to hear what places you liked!

[-] afters@hexbear.net 26 points 20 hours ago

yes but texas instead of florida and i'm making 0 income lol

[-] roux@hexbear.net 19 points 20 hours ago

meow-hug I'm stuck in the goddamn panhandle and we can't afford to pick up and move on only her salary.

[-] afters@hexbear.net 9 points 19 hours ago

oh man.. can't imagine what the panhandle is like. i live in one of the big cities and it's insufferable. but i've heard the landscapes are much prettier there! we'll keep fighting for a way out, for all of us

[-] roux@hexbear.net 9 points 19 hours ago

It's ugly here, both the people and the land. I like trees and hills though.

[-] PropagandaIsUseless@hexbear.net 4 points 17 hours ago

My dog was found as a stray in the panhandle, before being whisked across the country. If his trauma is anything to go by, my heart breaks seeing you stuck out there.

At this point, we really should just build a Hexbear commune in WIsconsin or something.

[-] roux@hexbear.net 3 points 17 hours ago

I'm supposed to be starting a cat cult with some discord friends but maybe we can combine the efforts?

[-] PropagandaIsUseless@hexbear.net 2 points 10 hours ago

I love cats, they just make me sneeze a lot. As long as I have a cat-free sadness zone to recover from the sneezing, I'd gladly help build the cat cult!

[-] PurrLure@hexbear.net 10 points 20 hours ago

What's your general plan for getting out?

[-] afters@hexbear.net 12 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

i really don't know. i was forced to live here for 10 years bc family (hated every moment of it), managed to escape to NYC when the pandemic unemployment assistance was paying me more than the multiple jobs ive ever had, and then almost exactly a year ago ended up back here at my parents because i could no longer sustain myself.

i'm very very glad i moved there because i grew SO much as a person, learned and felt and experienced an insane amount, and just generally opened my eyes to a lot of things. but it's a place that is almost impossible to survive alone. i had a pretty harsh experience just trying to find places to live that weren't temporary, dealing living with completely random people and their questionable choices, and just feeling completely, completely alone (on top of the limits of living on a very small amount of savings). i somehow ended up landing my dream job that usually requires a specific degree and i don't have any degree off the strength of my application, and i still miss aspects of that job sometimes, but the pay put me barely above the poverty line, and after 2 years i realized my body and mind could not sustain working full time hours for that amount of compensation. attempts to build and find community were impassed by the transient and insanely capitalistic nature of the city, though NYC natives are some of the best and most interesting people i've shared space with and i met some great people. but it's hard to make things stick when you are struggling on all ends and have no base or support to begin with. even just finding a place to live even after getting a job was a nightmare because everyone wants you to make a crazy amount more than the rent and have credit, and moving every 6 months to a cramped tiny slumlord building and living with random people whom are older than you but were never taught how to clean or communicate gets really really tiring. also the gentrification is disgusting.

so at first i decided i would nomad around for a while and hope that would lead me somewhere but eventually after 3 states and another country i ran out of couches to crash on and money to feed myself + realized i was just trying to run and run and run but no end in sight. i reluctantly slinked back to my parents and told myself it would be temporary less than a month but i'm still here.

i'm sure i don't have to tell you why i don't like living here. the people are brainwormed to the max, social isolation is much higher, you're almost entirely car dependent, horrible infrastructure, just a generally devoid place to live outside from some pockets. like i am lucky that my parents live in a more dense than average texas area that is also an ethnic enclave. but that doesn't shield me from the horrible legislation, the education systems, the privatization, christian supremacy, bad city planning. and i need to get tf away from my family. i haven't been working here because the job availability is awful and the pay is terrible and i'm not eager to deal with racist ableist transphobic or misogynistic, disrespectful ass people for that low a bar anymore.

if i have to stay in the united states, i would love to live somewhere on the hudson river valley. it checks everything i look for in a place; leftist and queer friendly (relatively speaking), decent empoc community size, elevations/mountains, water, lakes, beautiful scenery, full seasons. but it is really expensive and i still wouldn't really know anyone, but it would be a lot easier to navigate that. and should i want i can train down to the city for a weekend or something. i liked living in the bronx quite a bit as well, i wouldn't mind setting up shop there.

if possible it would be cool to live somewhere in asia or africa... that would be amazing given the opportunity

but ultimately, i am not a picky person. i have been through a lot of rough waters, some self imposed but most not. i could live literally anywhere if i had people that loved me and a community that saw me for me, accepted me, and uplifted me. i would have a lot to offer back to that community as well. and i would live anywhere that offered me a chance to contribute in my field (music). but as of now these all seem like very distant, far fetched ideas to me unfortunately, and i'm really just some kid who's stuck in this place forever. but i've been fighting and i'll continue to fight to figure something out that isn't here.

sorry if that was more than you asked for. would luv any thoughts or ideas

[-] PurrLure@hexbear.net 5 points 18 hours ago

It sounds like you need to travel with more people, especially if the area you're moving to is more expensive than your current place.

Personally, my plan has been taking so long because I needed to guarantee that at least one other person I could trust would move out of state with me and split rent for at least one lease. Well now I have a partner, and we might even have extra friends that want in on the move. The more people to split risks and costs with, the better, and we'll have over a year to finalize details and make sure that at least half of us can get either out of state jobs or fully online jobs.

Either that or you'll have to find someone that already lives in an area you like and is willing to take a chance on you, either as a roommate or more reliably as a partner. But that comes with its own risks.

[-] afters@hexbear.net 4 points 18 hours ago

you're definitely right. through all of this one ringing truth has stood out; i can't possibly do this alone. unfortunately, i don't have many people in my life, and definitely no one in proximity who sees me for me and respects my identity and choices. and especially hard to come across like minded people here. i'll just have to keep trying

[-] PurrLure@hexbear.net 2 points 18 hours ago

Do you have orgs near you? Hell, even the DSA. Just somewhere you can start making in person leftist friends.

Even if you don't manage to move out of state, it can really help your sanity.

[-] afters@hexbear.net 4 points 17 hours ago

i've given leftist orgs a try already.. they tend to be predominately cis-het especially around here which comes with its own complications particularly as a visibly brown queer. i think orgs are great for the cause and i support their operation but someone you can organize with and agree with politically isn't necessarily someone that can be your friend or family or community.

[-] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 14 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

Yeah. I don't have much income at the moment though. But I was already thinking something like Vermont or Upstate New York. Then ran across some influencer talking about how they got a USDA adjacent loan to buy farm land and am think that's probably the general direction to go. Maybe build a barn and do mushroom fruiting or something? thinkin-lenin idk, but I need to stop waiting for my friends and family to get on board and start working towards something.

[-] PurrLure@hexbear.net 11 points 18 hours ago

I heard Vermont is one of the most difficult states to move to if you're not already a multimillionaire. All housing is extra scarce there, even rentals. Much less affordable housing.

But if there's a real path with farming or a large group of people all contributing, then go for it.

[-] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 5 points 18 hours ago

Well, my original reason for Vermont was because a few years back propublica released this, putting some counties in Vermont as some of the least hit by climate change in next few decades. Which is another big reason for getting out of Florida, I'm currently living in one of the top 50 worst hit.😅 But Upstate New York would probably be about as well, given how everything is accelerating anyways.

Also, I feel like housing cost is gonna be a major issue anywhere up north as things really take off. So rural just seems more affordable with more resources for building something sustainable. If I can get some income going that's based online, as long as I've got internet I can build wherever. And it's not like I'm particularly fond of Covid ridden crowds anyway.

[-] PurrLure@hexbear.net 3 points 18 hours ago

Oh, I agree about Vermont being wonderful, I used to fantasize about that state back when I believed in Bernie. But last time I checked the housing market there, it wasn't a matter of housing being too expensive, but literally nothing being on the market.

Admittedly, last time I checked was around covid. Now I'm checking Zillow and seeing roughly 2.3k units for sale across the entire state, which isn't great, but at least moving there is possible again. Out of those units, roughly.... 200ish are kind of affordable to the average single income household. If you're not picky about being near a big city, it's doable.

[-] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 2 points 18 hours ago

Oh, I could live out in the woods and be happy. I did that out of my truck for a few years and it was the some of the most peaceful days of my life. I gotta find the site again, but farm land in Vermont wasn't too bad when I looked last. I found some fruit orchards and empty cow farms that seemed pretty reasonable at the time.

[-] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 19 points 20 hours ago

It's because the abortion amendment failed despite 57% approval.

Wtf? I'm guessing it's one of clauses where to change the law it needs 66% approval, or something along those lines.

US "democracy", not even once

[-] LaughingLion@hexbear.net 4 points 13 hours ago

60%

Thing is, previously that would have been good enough. We voted on an amendment that upped it from a simple majority.

[-] Red_Sunshine_Over_Florida@hexbear.net 14 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

60 percent. How did it do better than marijuana?!?!?!

I would think all the Trump-brained Chuds would want that more than abortion. The libertarian ones can go ad-nauseum about how that plant is such an effective panacea.

[-] PurrLure@hexbear.net 14 points 20 hours ago

I genuinely thought weed would do better than abortion, too. I guess some libs swallowed the copaganda about it.

[-] FeelThePower@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 15 hours ago

i left for california in 2022 when i ended up homeless, figured might as well. honestly being from there feels like a curse at this point, my family hates it there but refuses to leave too.

[-] Red_Sunshine_Over_Florida@hexbear.net 10 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

I want to get out of here too. I hate how Chuds of all races, creeds, and ages rule here with impunity. Amendment 4 failing really pissed me off. I've know women in my life that have told me the importance of them needing that sort of medical treatment and to see them continued to be treated so horribly by the phlegmatic, philandering, pieces of Evangelical gristle in charge of this state enrages me on a personal level.

You should save some money but, at least get some blood work done to make sure there's no underlying problems. I say this from experience, since I was away for like, 5 years and didn't see my diabetes until it showed up in the first blood work I had done in several years. Don't take any chances.

[-] PurrLure@hexbear.net 7 points 20 hours ago

I'll prioritize blood work before I make the decision, thank you.

[-] WhoaSlowDownMaurice@hexbear.net 8 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

yea Yea. But you already knew that

this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2024
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